The bad side of having long-time-regulars
Hey Bros,
This is not a report. Just a bit of rambling navel-gazing after a week of things-going-badly with my WGs.
I am merely writing this because I am killing time in an airport, and thought I would fill-in some blanks on Wander’s WG exploits. For not all is fun and games….
So.. if anyone cares to read-on:
In one ill-planned week of wanton Wanchai Wandering I managed to obliterate (or near-obliterate) three (3!) of my longest-running, most affectionate, and most wondrous WG relationships. All three are beautiful and sexy well beyond my weight-class. All three screwed my brains out demanding more pops per session than even I wanted (or sometimes was capable of). And all three became very, very close emotionally. Girlfriends, really. Damn……
There is no point getting into specific details, as all three erupted for essentially the same reason: I am a man-whore, and they finally “re”-realized it. Seems a common trajectory with all three: We met as WG<>Punter in a Wanchai bar. They KNEW I was a total slut, but a fun and generous one. Had a blast… truly a LOT of fun together. Exchanged digits and we kept seeing each other weekly or even more often. We went on a couple vacations together (with 2 of them anyway), dinners, many over-niters, dancing, clubbing, and fucking like maniacs. As the intimacy grew with each of them, the money transaction became more and more awkward – eventually morphing into different kinds of payments (gifts, helped one with her family, specific requests to help one buy something she needed, etc. etc.). It all amounted to the same but was more akin to BF<>GF then WG<>Punter. At some point these relationships moved past some invisible line and it became almost impossible to admit to them that I am still fucking other gals. It would turn into a huge, ugly drama -- so you sorta pretend you don’t fuck around (kinda cowardly perhaps). Fucking my SO was fine (they all knew my family situation), but seems screwing any other girl was not. Huh.
This is where things get messy. All three said, at some point along the way, that they loved me. And I would be lying if I said this didn’t feel good. We had very affectionate, intimate relationships.
Two of them said they stopped working in bars completely; one tried to quit but needed more cash so went back to the bars under necessity – said she would quit if I asked her. (yikes). I never asked any of them to do anything, but they were compelled to let me know that they were officially “mine”. I realize I failed in my “duty” to re-set the relationship squarely at this point. I should have. But to be fair, it is a pretty hard thing to do in that moment – she is giving herself to you, the moment is tender and wonderful, and saying anything contrary would just blast it pieces. It would change everything about our relationship. So…, you quietly move past it and enjoy a wonderful romantic nite, and hope it kinda remains a non-issue. (yeah, right!!)
And finally, during the same week, all three of them caught me fucking around (or became aware of convincing circumstantial evidence).
Kind of amazing I made it 3 years without getting nailed earlier by these three – given all my Wanchai exploits! (one is Thai, one Filipina, and one Indonesian – and this helps, as they do not share circles at all – it’s rather amazing how these groups avoid each other in the bars!).
Oddly, all three said exactly the same thing during the heated moments in our discussion, “You’ve changed!”. (In reality, I have stayed exactly the same: a man-whore. They just chose to forget it for awhile until it was, regrettably, thrown back in their faces). And here is the rub: as they know my recent past, they can’t really give me the benefit of the doubt. The “suspension of disbelief”, as our SOs tend to practice with us when we provide our cover stories, is just too hard. They know too much.
Two of them said they would never see me again (Shite!) (even though I provide financial compensation!!), as I “break her heart over and over”. While one said she needs to think about “us” and hasn’t replied to an email in days. Gone. Gone. And almost gone.
Bottom line? They got too close, allowed the illusion of our relationship to seep into their reality, and got hurt when the truth of it all re-surfaced.
And yet…..,
Even with all this grief and drama…
…., the idea of just seeing Walkups, or not sticking with regulars for long… seems like an impossible compromise. It just isn’t the same.
In the end, and I bet quickly, I think they will realize they were fooling themselves all along. Seeing in me what they WANTED to see (a possible white knight come to rescue them?) instead of what was right before them – the same man-whore they met in a Wanchai bar the first time. Hopefully they’ll smile at the good times. I kinda make it a personal mantra to not make a gal worse-off because she met me. (sort of my own private Hippocratic Oath, I suppose). To try to ensure that in every possible interaction with a WG she is better off after we met than before. I can’t really do more than that. I aint gonna “save” every gal that becomes a regular, but I can be a pleasant moment in their lives.
So…, on this day, and as I write, I feel rather sad how these three wonderful romances have ended. I was hoping for something a little more gentle – to end “on a high” with them. So they could only smile as they remembered me. But, alas…, was not to be.
My rambling is over….
Onward. | |
