Hey Bros,

This is not a report.  Just a bit of rambling navel-gazing after a week of things-going-badly with my WGs.   

I am merely writing this because I am killing time in an airport, and thought I would fill-in some blanks on Wander’s WG exploits.  For not all is fun and games….  

So.. if anyone cares to read-on:

In one ill-planned week of wanton Wanchai Wandering  I managed to obliterate (or near-obliterate) three (3!) of my longest-running, most affectionate, and most wondrous WG relationships.  All three are beautiful and sexy well beyond my weight-class.  All three screwed my brains out demanding more pops per session than even I wanted (or sometimes was capable of).  And all three became very, very close emotionally.  Girlfriends, really.  Damn……

There is no point getting into specific details, as all three erupted for essentially the same reason:  I am a man-whore, and they finally “re”-realized it.   Seems a common trajectory with all three:  We met as WG<>Punter in  a Wanchai bar.  They KNEW I was a total slut, but a fun and generous one.  Had a blast…  truly a LOT of fun together.  Exchanged digits and we kept seeing each other weekly or even more often.  We went on a couple vacations together (with 2 of them anyway), dinners, many over-niters, dancing, clubbing, and fucking like maniacs.   As the intimacy grew with each of them, the money transaction became more and more awkward – eventually morphing into different kinds of payments (gifts, helped one with her family, specific requests to help one buy something she needed, etc. etc.).  It all amounted to the same but was more akin to BF<>GF then WG<>Punter.   At some point these relationships moved past some invisible line and it became almost impossible to admit to them that I am still fucking other gals.  It would turn into a huge, ugly drama -- so you sorta pretend you don’t fuck around (kinda cowardly perhaps).  Fucking my SO was fine (they all knew my family situation), but seems screwing any other girl was not.  Huh.  

This is where things get messy.  All three said, at some point along the way, that they loved me.  And I would be lying if I said this didn’t feel good.  We had very affectionate, intimate relationships.  

Two of them said they stopped working in bars completely;  one tried to quit but needed more cash so went back to the bars under necessity –  said she would quit if I asked her.  (yikes).   I never asked any of them to do anything, but they were compelled to let me know that they were officially “mine”.  I realize  I failed in my “duty” to re-set the relationship squarely at this point.  I should have.   But to be fair, it is a pretty hard thing to do in that moment – she is giving herself to you, the moment is tender and wonderful, and saying anything contrary would just blast it pieces.  It would change everything about our relationship.  So…, you quietly move past it and enjoy a wonderful romantic nite, and hope it kinda remains a non-issue.  (yeah, right!!)

And finally, during the same week, all three of them caught me fucking around (or became aware of convincing circumstantial evidence).   
Kind of amazing I made it 3 years without getting nailed earlier by these three  – given all my Wanchai exploits!  (one is Thai, one Filipina, and one Indonesian – and this helps, as they do not share circles at all – it’s rather amazing how these groups avoid each other in the bars!).
Oddly, all three said exactly the same thing during the heated moments in our discussion, “You’ve changed!”.  (In reality, I have stayed exactly the same:  a man-whore.  They just chose to forget it for awhile until it was, regrettably,  thrown back in their faces).  And here is the rub:   as they know my recent past, they can’t really give me the benefit of the doubt.  The “suspension of disbelief”, as our SOs tend to practice with us when we provide our cover stories, is just too hard.  They know too much.  

Two of them said they would never see me again (Shite!) (even though I provide financial compensation!!), as I “break her heart over and over”.  While one said she needs to think about “us” and hasn’t replied to an email in days.  Gone.  Gone.  And almost gone.  
Bottom line?  They got too close, allowed the illusion of our relationship to seep into their reality, and got hurt when the truth of it all re-surfaced.  

And yet…..,

Even with all this grief and drama…  

…., the idea of just seeing Walkups, or not sticking with regulars for long…  seems like an impossible compromise.   It just isn’t the same.
In the end, and I bet quickly, I think they will realize they were fooling themselves all along.  Seeing in me what they WANTED to see (a possible white knight come to rescue them?) instead of what was right before them – the same man-whore they met in a Wanchai bar the first time.  Hopefully they’ll smile at the good times.  I kinda make it a personal mantra to not make a gal worse-off because she met me.  (sort of my own private Hippocratic Oath, I suppose).  To try to ensure that in every possible interaction with a WG she is better off after we met than before.   I can’t really do more than that.  I aint gonna “save” every gal that becomes a regular, but I can be a pleasant moment in their lives.

So…, on this day, and as I write,  I feel rather sad how these three wonderful romances have ended.  I was hoping for something a little more gentle – to end “on a high” with them.  So they could only smile as they remembered me.  But, alas…, was not to be.

My rambling is over….

Onward.

thanks for the thoughtful share wander.  never been in your position before, but might one day.

any other tips on how to end things on a high?  it just seems to me that our (not sure how to put this in a non-negative manner) greedy/selfish desires will never allow us to end things on a high.

ie.  we wont stop fucking a WG unless something blows up.

i could understand ur feeling at this moment as this type of situation arrived also to me as i was a regular of Whanchai bar also. I don't know ur family situation but in my case i realized that the most important was what i build in my "real" life and not during this crazy night you could have in wanchai. i'm still a regular of Wanchai bar but my mind and my perseption of girls changed as i had all the experience Wanchai WG can offer. Hope for u u can find ur way in this type of experience.

You know, Freud might have something to say about that. Seems either you had some huge moment of carelessness that somehow led to all three separate incidents, or maybe part of you realized something wasn't going to work and it was time to hit the bit red reset button.

Sorry, couldn't resist articulating that observation. I don't know you at all, and am very likely to be 100% off base here.

Look on the bright side, now there's room for a few more regulars. But really I'm amazed that you have 3 regulars plus other girls and still your SO is not wise to the situation. Is she in a different city?????

One of the reasons I'm glad I'm not in asia very much and for very long. My regular WGs....might be down to one reg now tho.... Know I'm not around near enough for things to become........ Official.

~UD

Well, one of the downside of having "regular/long term" relationship with WGs. As I have mentioned in other posts before, like it or not, these creatures are still of female species...

Sooner or later the emotional part will kick in...mind you one of the reasons why you had great sex with them is because they have these emotional ties with you, they clicked with you, your mind and soul linked...

On the bright side, you now have excuses to hunt for new ones...isn't it so?

Happy hunting Bro Wander!

we are all human beings and get emotionally involved at one point or the other. It is no wonder that you and the girls had wonderful romantic experience.  It will take some time for you to hit the same kind of relationship with others or it may not occur at all as you are also partly responsible for this situation.  But you have to take all this in your stride and hope for the best.

Yep. But they are only fooling themselves as they know that given they found you as a punter, you'll always be one (once a perv, always a perv! ;) )... Maybe more discreet but still.
Am sure you'll get them back once they've washed away the emotional part of it. And then, you'll start a cycle again (just money / GF and then "in love").  This is just gow people work.

I once had a British escort decide to go long-term and exclusive with me, knowing full well that I would continue to punt, as I am not in the UK most of the time. The first 6 months were great, everytime we met, it was good. But then, she started getting possesive and jealous of all the other women (I don't flaunt it). Eventually the relationship dissolved badly as she felt I didn't find her attractive enough (my retort was that if I didn't find her attractive, I wouldn't have agreed to the arrangement).

About a year later, she contacted me and admitted she had over-reacted and that she wanted to make up for it. We have since met up and had a hot threesome with one of my other regular girls, and she didn't mind it. I think she has finally realized that I am what I am and accepted it. We are not back to that previous arrangement, but rather as a normal client-escort relationsip.

"You've Changed" Lmao - typical woman thing to say...

Strange thing is bro, similar thing happened to me literally yesterday...

However mine is not a WG but a DH I regularly meet up with on Sundays...

I basiclly told her that I would not be in WC for a while on a Sunday, a while being 3/4 weeks... That did not go down to well... "Do you love me?"

I get that one once a fu**ing week lately..

"You just want gf in China!" - this is the other one lately. Yesterday I'd had enough and just told her to fuck off!

I woke up to three SMS this morning - "I will wait for you and see you whenever you can make it to WC" Lol

""You just want gf in China!" - this is the other one lately."

I assume the DH is Filipina? What's up with Filipina and Indonesian girls hating China girls with a passion? I've had a couple of buddies with Fil/Indo go and they are alwayssuspicious of PRC girls. One even told him "you can sleep around with other girls but if I catch you with a China one, I'll kill you".

What's up with all this rivalries?

You can fool yourself.  You can fool her.

But as time passes, fooling become very realistic.  A lie becomes the Truth.  Fantasy becomes the norm.

Guys try to justify the relationship as WG-Client.  But for 1, 2 or 3 years?  Nah, it becomes BF-GF (with complications), yeah, you can put "It's Complicated" on your FaceB00k page.  And as time passes, would the guy break it off to hunt new WGs?  Nope, the fantasy has become the "norm" and now it feels "comfortable" or right.  

I don't blame you.  Would a guy go through drama with a 2 month WG relationship?  Nope.  Would a guy go through intense drama with a WG he's been seeing for 2 years?  YUP!  He'd even go further since hey, she's his GF!!  

Having 3 is nuts.  But since all 3 are from different circles, you've got it made.  I'm not doubting your skills to keep them apart, but your relationship for years with each of them does not surprise me.  It's normal and I gotta say, not many guys can "understand" the relationship between a guy and a WG-gf.  It's something deeper and fulfilling and nothing others can say will define it.  It's only between you and her.

Should you "get" them back?  Absolutely!

But if all 3 know about eachother, I guess it's check mate.  Would you at least want ONE of them back?

Hmmm, some insightful stuff from the Brotherhood.

First, the Freudian comment may be more accurate than I would like to admit.  As I mentioned before, I am moving away from HK in the not too distant future.  Maybe I did subconciously sabbatauge things.  (but actually... the fact I am moving, and the way it is happening, gives me the motivation and opportunity to play in Wanchai a bit more excessively.  So I think I just got careless...)

The Chinese-girl rivalry with those from SEAsia?  Easy one.  Status.  Gals from SEAsia are KEENLY aware of their low status in HK.  It is thrown in their faces daily.  So if we date a much-higher-status Chinese gal they see it as almost an unsurmountable defeat.  Like if your girlfriend suddenly started having lunch dates with Prince Harry on his private yacht or something -- "Holy Crap!  How do I compete with that!!"

And no, these gals dont know about each other.  I got caught with other gals.  The WG-grapevine is sharp, and I am too recognizable in WanChai.  It was bound to happen (again.., I am surprised it didnt hit a head until now... and then all three at once!!!).  Shit!.  

Would I want any of the three back?  Ummmm, all of them!  Just re-set things to 1.5 years ago where we politely avoided this topic.  Dont ask, Dont tell was the unwritten rule.  Funny how these relationships evolve.  It starts with us talking about everything - my exploits, her life in the bars, sometimes laughing at very specific anecdotes, sometimes at specific punters or gals ("That guy took me out once but was so drunk he couldnt get it up!  Paid me anyway.  haha").  That sort of detailed stuff where we simply know everything about each other's Wanchai ways.  Then, over time, as you get close, learn about each other's "real" life, family, kids, etc.  this topic quickly evaporates..., she doesnt want to hear about other gals; and you dont want to hear about other guys.  It just sorta happens...  And this is when it starts getting messy...

sigh.

This is a great thread.

My SO was out of town with the kids last month so I hit the DH adventure trail pretty hard. There may be all sorts of horror stories about being hooked for cash, and this does happen if you're stupid, but I think over all most of the DH girls (and eventually all WGs) you find out on any given sunday really only want companionship, sex and love like all other humans on this earth.
I now have two, A tall striking Phil girl who is basically a civie and would never accept cash and another cute Indo who does appreciate cash gifts but basically is a civie in her goals. They both know my family situation but to them, someone who finds them desirable overwhelms all rational thought on their part. Road to disaster. I do I know the Phil girl will be a challenge as she is a highly educated, well spoken and mature chick who doesn't see women of any class as superior. She is real GF material for any single guy however she sees something in me and that is trouble.
The alternative of course is a boring life at home in the US with nothing but fat women, traffic jams and sports bars.  Life is good, and living life like this is fun and risky and a whole lot better than being dead. Remember those of use who have that adventurous spirit often end up as expats or travelers and the women around us are attracted to that and have to live with the baggage that we carry. Some do better than others but keep in mind they are also the adventurous type since they have traveled for work and adventure as well - even if it is born out of financial necessity. In fact, those (WG or DH) that have the balls to travel from the backwoods of Indonesia / Philippines / Thailand to find a better life for themselves and their families puts them on par with any expat when it comes to the risk, effort and courage required. They are like us - that why we like them.

Onward with life as an expat in HK and S. E. Asia.

I hope nobody takes this the wrong way, but I think you really have to be wired a certain way in order to stick around in the WG business. Hiding what you do from the people closest to you, feeling the eyes on you when you're out with a bloke be it paid or unpaid, or even just a friend.... Not being able to trust whatever guy you "meet" along the way. etc etc etc. Quite honestly, it can't be healthy.

You can try, but women are still women, and people are still people. It's natural for people to want to feel connected to other people. That you treat them well and seem accepting of their position makes them MORE vulnerable to you. And people have a tendency to believe what they WANT to believe. It might not entirely be true, but if you're able to grab on to that glimmer of hope..........
....Your being seen and their being told that you've been spotted....kind of darkens that glimmer. And because they're more vulnerable to you....it hits them even harder.

While holding on to that glimmer makes the sex hotter....we really can't let that glimmer get too bright since we know too bloody well that nothing real is going to come of it.

Just my 2 cents...for whatever it's worth.

~UD

I had 2 regulars on wan chai - one Filapina one Indonesian.

The indonesian was semi civie mainly just working on drinks commissions - the filapna is a more hard nosed pro, who is not actually based here ( that sounds harsh but not meant to be) but, I like her and we get on great like proper friends

However, I few weeks ago I see the filapino and she through a cap on as she goes for a bj ... She I have to do this you fucking someone else ... An indo!

I was a little shocked at the attitude and jealousy; basically by SO was ok and any of her filapino mates she introduced me to was fine - but my sweet down to earth Indonesian girl was a leper.

I liked both but the attitude against the indonesian pissed me off and I have avoided my filapino reg since. As a double kick in nuts it looks like my Indonesian who I have to admit wasn't the sharpest knife appears to have done some daft with her visa and been cleared out on a makati raid.

So I'm hurting because I have lost 2 friends...

Maybe we should avoid regulars ... Narh we'll all fall for it again.

Wow fucking epic thread.  I too have noticed the rivalry between girls of different origins in W.C.  The Indo's and Pinays just don't seem to really like each other.  I have also noticed that the real W.G.'s are not real fond of the maids on Sundays.  They know the maids fuck for free and it messes up there business.   I know many regular W.G.'s that don't even go out on Sundays because of this situation.  Even the real W.G.'s can get jealous.  I have said before that I would wait in Old China Hand for her and she flat out told me no that she didn't want me there without her.

Wonder's situation is totally normal to me.  Most women with a serious regular for any length of time are going to form a bond with their customer.  Mine has told me that she would be very nervous knowing I was in Wanchai without her by my side.  I have noticed that things really change once you start to take it beyond a normal "Hey lets go fuck" for a few hours.  Once you start buying dinners, going to the movies or sightseeing together most of them are going to fall for you.

I really want to go into detail about my current situation with my long time regular, but I am a little concerned that she might read it on here and my identity would be exposed.

She too has told me that she loves me and wont accept money from me anymore.  I am free to do what I want because I have no strings at home.  The strange part for me is that I know I love her as well.  Who knows what will happen.  Still Wanchai has been a blast.

So I am reading all these excellent insights and an e-mail comes in from an Indo DH I met on the street in Wanchai earlier this year. We have been e-mailing back and forth since I returned to the US. I will post a bit of it here... gives some insight into how they think. First hook up I paid, gave her my cell number and she called later in the day.  the next day we hung out together, unpaid, for most the day. Her message below is her thoughts on the second day together.

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am very happy that i meet u in second day that time, its same like ur only mine, am happy that time in that room only u n me, eat togother and boom boom only u n me, i imagine that day is family, if posdible i do cook by myself at that time, cause i just want u only mine imagine happy in one place no one disyurb soo peacefull n happy, i imagine that day is our honeymoon, i want to compelately serve u as couple,

[ Last edited by  JJJ37 at 22-8-2012 13:41 ]

No dude she is indo...

I was seeing her before, meeting up most Sundays for around 2 months & it was going well... Then one Sunday I had to work I did not hear from her all day & I got an SMS that night saying she could not see me any more lol I found out she was with another guy that day (I admit I was a little bothered).

Anyways, she confessed all to me & I told her we could no longer be friends. I gave the Sunday scene a miss for a few months to avoid any drunken crazyness from her friends (as we all know how crazy they can be).

I started going out on Friday/Saturday night instead.

The eventually around May time I went out on the Sunday with a friend, low & behold she is in 109... To me this has turned into a right shit hole! Constantly smells of sick & sweat!

We headed for players. 10 minutes later she comes in. I ignore her & she comes over starts talking etc etc

A little later on in the day, I bump into her as I am leaving Makati. She is totally drunk, so me being the good guy that I am take her to 7/11 & buy her water & food. Make her drink it & walk her around for a bit. Sober her up, she says she needs to go back home so I walk her to a taxi & meet my friends in Forest.

10 minutes later in she walks crying saying "sorry sorry"

We started saying each other again. All was fine up until the last week when all these love & trust issues that all Fili girls and indo girls seem to have every time you say you cannot see them...

Amazing how many others have similar tales....  Yet if you didnt live in HK you might be hard-pressed to believe them: stunningly beautiful young gals tripping over themselves to be with you.

If I walked down the street in my home country with C or Angelia or Joann or many of my other regulars heads would be turning like vinyl records at a Greatful Dead party!  But here???    Get in line, babe....   

Sigh again....