Your First Time Mongering Stories
Title says it all! It's time to reminisce! Interested in your first time mongering stories, as I find they're usually pretty interesting and downright funny! Details!
Here's mine:
Back in around March of 2007, our company had a retreat in Ningbo. I had already been in China for about 10 months, but never been to a massage parlor with HE or sauna (had been to KTV a few times, but didn't really like the idea that the WG's there would know where I live, so never took any home). Anyway, it was the second night of our retreat, and after a round of heavy drinking (bai jiu, whiskey, the cheap banquet red wines, and lots and lots of beer) we all headed to a legit karaoke, as we had both men and women co-workers in our group. At about 11pm, one of the male co-workers mentioned seeing a sauna with FS advertising about 400 RMB per session, so all the guys except for myself and my boss headed to that sauna. I had actually seen the place my co-worker was talking about, and it was pretty much a hole in the wall place, even more run down than your local BBS, so I declined and said I just wanted to call it an early night.
Instead, my boss and I headed back to the hotel. Right as we hopped in the elevator to go up, I noticed across the elevator hall another elevator that was going down to the basement just opened its doors, and there was an absolutely stunning girl who was heading to the basement of the hotel. Feeling the liquid courage from all that drinking earlier, I hastily excused myself from my boss, telling him I was going to go check out the basement of the hotel. I actually leaped out of the elevator right as the doors were closing and sprinted to the other elevator, making it in time (of course, this meant the original elevator that my boss was in had its doors opened again, so he saw full well that I ran into another elevator with a gorgeous girl in it). I started trying to make small talk with the girl, asking where she was from, if she was visiting, what she was doing in this hotel. All she said to me was that she was going to work, so I figured she was an employee of the hotel. As we got to the basement, she said bye and turned to the right, towards some unmarked doors. Wishing that the elevator ride from the lobby to the basement was longer, I got out of the elevator and noticed that off to the left was the in-house hotel massage, so I figured I'd get a nice veggie massage before I called it a night.
At the reception desk, I told the attendant I wanted a massage, and she asked me what kind. When I asked what kind they offered, she said we have "this kind" and made the hand motion for someone hitting your back, ie: veggie massage, or "the other kind" which she made no motion for. Being the bright boy that I am, I understood what she meant, but told her I'd just have the veggie massage. She had an attendant lead me down a maze of hallways, and the further we walked down the hallway, the darker it got. Finally, the attendant led me to the room and said my masseuse would be here shortly. As I waited, I checked out the room, thinking "Wow, this has got to be the nicest massage room I've ever been in!" Instead of just a stand-alone shower, it had a real shower area. No massage table with the hole for your head either, it was an actual large queen size bed! I was still admiring the room when there was a knock on my door and the attendant asking to come in. I said it was alright, and the door opened revealing the attendant and.... the girl I met in the elevator! Well, minus a large part of her clothing  It was pretty much at this moment that I realized there was some miscommunication, and that I was about to get the "other kind of massage."
Anyway, the attendant asked if she was alright, to which I gave a hearty HELL YES. The elevator girl recognized me as well, and had a smile on her face. As soon as the door closed, she mentioned how big of a coincidence it was. She had me strip and gave me a quick rinse, then told me to lie face down on the bed so she could start. Ok, I lied above... At this point, I still thought this might just be some sort of erotic massage, and was totally surprised when she started licking my neck and working her way down. I kept giggling like an idiot as well, as I've never experienced this, and she kept asking why my body was shaking a little (I was holding in my laughter, so the chuckling kind of moved my body). This surprise turned into a bit of horror once she reached my ass though... She spread my cheeks, and I suddenly felt something ice cold touch my asshole (she was giving me an AR with an ice cube....) I actually moved myself away and asked what she was doing, to which she asked if this was my first time in a sauna. I said yes, and she said just relax and you can decide if you like it or don't (turns out I don't). After she did that a little more, I asked her to stop, and she had me flip over and started directly with a BBBJ. She then capped me and started riding me, but unfortunately, she was a bit loose down there, and all that alcohol earlier didn't help my cause either. She figured the same as well, and told me that she could "da fei ji" (chinese slang for HJ) for me instead.... only issue was, I had no idea what that meant, so I asked her what it meant, fearing it was something to do with my ass again. She did a great job explaining with her hand motions, so I said that'd be ok. (Now, a little side note... when I shoot, I really SHOOT. I swear I can get some award for distance) So as I came, I knew that I would shoot pretty high, but I thought she would know as well... No such luck, and I saw an explosion shoot right up in the air and get all over the place. Some reached my neck, a little got in her hair (but she was pretty professional about it), and some actually hit the top of the bed (it had a canopy). Had a good laugh about that, and she jokingly thanked me for allowing her to break me in to my first sauna! After another short rinse, I headed back up to my room, all smiles 
The next morning, I had breakfast with my boss and other male co-workers to hear about their experience yesterday night. When I asked them, the expression on all of their faces was priceless... All had a look of shame, hahaha. Turns out that the ladies there were... absolutely horrendous... We had one co-worker who is by all accounts, butt ugly (we'll call him #3), so when I asked how the ladies were, one of the male co-workers said "No offense to #3, but #3 is better looking than her" Ha ha ha... Priceless.
So my first time mongering was definitely memorable... what about yours? | |
It was pretty much at this moment that I realized there was some miscommunication, and that I was about to get the "other kind of massage."