Every year, bros here would post April's fool pranks on April 1. This year the reality is so surreal that no prank seems funny anymore. Our lives are so sad that it's starting to be funny.

The government suddenly announced that massage parlours and nightclubs are closed down for 14 days. If this doesn't sound like a joke, then this is: Hours later, it backtracked, just like it did after announcing the selling of alcohol in bars and restaurants will be banned. It seems that Carrie Lam has a secret hatred towards nightlife but doesn't want to show it. Psychoanalysts please submit your hypothesis here (her dad was an alcoholic?). Even after the virus's gone these restrictions will stay. There is always a possibility that it will come back. There is always a possibility that another virus might come. Soon, people will forget about the reason for these restrictions. The restrictions will exist for their own sake. That will be the end of humanity.

This virus is systematically demolishing our concept of joy. I crave human touches. I crave the warmth of another person's body, the wetness of her lips and the softness of her tongue. All I want is one kiss. Or a hug that is long enough to feel the contour of her chest. Or a small talk that is close enough to smell her scent behind her ear. Instead, we are imprisoned in this comical hell where fresh air is dangerous and everyone is hidden behind their face masks.

I want to feel the texture of a woman's nipple with my lips. I want to slide my cheek over her breast. No word can describe this texture. No Zoom meeting can reproduce this feeling. No porn can give me the same sensation.

This virus is replacing everything real by everything "virtual". Zoom is evil. Netflix is evil. I don't want online things. I don't want images on my computer screen. I don't want internet porn. I want to feel the breath of a real person's breath on my shoulder. Her skin against mine. Anyone can do. Maybe even a man would do.

Sex industry is dead. Intimacy is dead. This forum is dead. Years later, the next generation will talk about us and the era that will be known as pre-COVID, just like pre-war, when people still trusted each other enough to have sex, to have fun. An era when we bitched to each other on the tiniest things we wrote in our reports, when we flocked to a brothel to kiss our favourite girl's toe.

Soul without body; we are all ghosts.

Carrie Lam is a devoted Christian, and therefore it's ubiquitous practice for her to denounce any hedonistic practices such sex, alcohol and nightlife. Hong Kong has talented politicians on both the pro-Beijing camp and pro-democracy camp. I'll never understand why such an incapable and weak person could ever be the leader of Hong Kong.

I don't believe sex and intimacy are dead, however what we see is that people are increasingly giving up their freedom and happiness for a (fake) sense of security. And with freedom I'm not talking about the right to vote for a stupid political party, but the freedom to express your ideas, opinions and cravings without being scared to be punished by the government or society.

Now COVID-19 is here and people are scared to die from it. Media are fueling anxiety and as a result most people don't dare to go out and don't spend money. But why? Any reasonably healthy 20-40 year old is at least 10 times more likely to die in a car crash then after being infected with the Coronavirus. Yet people still drive cars.

I've been on the brink of death before, so maybe that's why I have no fear of dying. However what it made me realize is that you need to cherish the moment, since you don't know how terrible tomorrow will be.

And don't get your hopes up for a vaccine. It will be at least 5 years before anyone should even consider getting it, since everybody's rushing it now, and not doing long-term testing. This will be the same disaster as the Mexican Flu (H1N1) vaccine, for which I'm still waiting for compensation from the government for being injected with this poison.

Reality is, walking around on the street I already see people enjoying life like how it was before the outbreak. However, I still see numerous people acting like it's the apocalypse. I don't have high hopes for them.