Date: April 2019
Location: Shalimar Spa just off Pub Street
Name / looks: no idea
Cost: $12 massage + $30

I was in Cambodia for a wedding recently and had a morning to kill before I flew out so wondered into town for a veggie massage (honest!).

Found the Shalimar Spa that looked fine and booked an hour Thai massage at a discount because they were quiet. I was led through to a room in the back, past a couple of people having foot massages and told to pick a mat on the floor and lie down. I took off my shirt and did so in near darkness, waiting for a couple of minutes before a lady came in and started the massage. It was firm and started out as just what I needed but she told me to take of my shorts and put on some massage clothes and left the room after handing them to me.  

I did as I was told - massage shorts over underpants and lay back down in the darkness and the leg massage started. Again, all above board and just what I needed. She told me to roll over and got started with an oil massage on my legs. My suspicions (and only them) were aroused when she told me to remove the shorts so she didn’t get oil on them, but when she tugged at my underpants and said “and these” I started to wonder!

Unsure of where this was going, I undressed completely and lay modestly under a towel to receive a much needed leg massage but couldn’t help but think if my happy ending cherry was about to be popped. A few careless brushes against the old chap and there was little doubt in my mind that the game was afoot and sure enough she pointed at my cock and asked if I wanted that massaged as well.

“Why have a dog and bark yourself” as my dear old grandmother used to say, so after a brief negotiation to 30USD a woman I have never seen in the light  stroked me perfunctorily to bliss before cleaning me up and massaging my shoulders and back.

When time was up, I got dressed, left 30 on the table and walked out with a spring in my step, chuckling to myself that even the most veggie of places could offer such a comprehensive level of service!

It just goes to show that you never know ... and that if it’s on offer, they will let you know!