So, I'm reunited with one my Changping-posse bros the other night over drinks, and one of them asks if I ever went back to visit the girl from Hui Mei (report here).  I laugh and say, "you mean the Baby Giraffe? No, but I was really tempted despite the horrible sex".   Explanation of name then ensues.  Many, many beers later on cocktail napkins we put together this short compendium of Non-STD Punting-related Afflictions:

Asian (Yellow) Fever: an incurable attraction to Asian members of the opposite sex.
Cure: No known.


Baby Giraffe Virus: an infection causing mongerers to be involuntarily drawn back to young and adorable WG's without any carnal skillsets. (Name derives from the beauty and awkwardness of new-born baby giraffes in the wild).
Cure: innoculation is usually accomplished after second visit.


K-Botulism: an infection of the mongering hemisphere of the brain causing pleasure response only to the appeal, charms, skills of K-girls. (Name derives from the clone-like aesthetics and carnal scripts of K-girls, aka K-bots).
Cure: No known, though condition goes into inexplicable occasional remission.


Schettinosis: a dangerous condition of falling for a WG, leading to the sinking of afflicted mongerer's ship. (Name derives Capitano Schettino of the ill-fated Costa Condordia.)
Cure: 1. a hard slap across the noggin by said mongerer's bros, 2. complete depletion of mongerer's bank account.


Werewolf (Wolfman) Virus: a occasional condition by which mongerer can only reach climax while engaged in a canine (doggie) position.
Cure: condition comes and goes, like the common cold.

That's all we could come up with before we couldn't write any more.  

Would love to hear other 141 bros names for common non-STD afflictions--for instance, big tits (obviously missing from above list), DH's perhaps, etc.

[ Last edited by  jetsetting2much at 21-3-2013 05:56 ]

Nu-monia: Causes young PRC WG's to fake the noises associated with pleasure and orgasm. Unfortunately, like so many Chinese signposts and menus, something gets lost in translation.

Cure: None for the WG, but punter partners can be treated by exposure to K-Botulism (see above).

Hepatitties:  a viral infection that affects a mongerer's brain causing a near-psychotic obsession with female mammary glands, to the exclusion of said female's other physical features.  Advanced Hepatitties has been known to cause death by suffocation.
Cure:  1. waking up next to a Looks 1.5 WG with a big rack, or Ladyboy with big rack, 2. experimental shock therapy also now in advanced trials.

Tachycardia: Causes WG boyfriend/manager to pimp his ride beyond the limits of good taste.

Cure: None known, and very contagious. Fortunately, only affects young men.

M.A.I.D.S.: (Manhood Applied Into Domestic Servant) a common mongerer's affliction whereby Domestic Helpers become the primary target of mongerer's chase.  The chase is augmented by the blurred line between WG and Civilian.  Contagion runs rampant in the Wanchai bar area, and particularly on Saturday night through Sunday late afternoon.  MAIDS is also often a common pre-cursor condition of and early indicator of susceptibility to Schettinosis (see above).
Cure: No known.  Remission a possibility.  
[Note: Paging! Paging, Dr. Wander!  Please report to the Compendium thread.  You reading this? Anything to add?]


Barbieosis: similar in symptoms and etiology to K-Botulism (see above) and Hepatitties (see above), this condition causes the mongerer's targeting mechanism to seek WG's of specific anatomical proportions mirroring that of Mattel's Barbie doll--thin and lean with smaller breast sizes but beautiful facial features.  
Cure: Mongerer's later infected with Hepatitties have been reported to be cured of this condition.  Remission a possibility.

[ Last edited by  jetsetting2much at 22-3-2013 01:22 ]

Mamagram: Diagnostic test initiated by punter to see whether a particular WG is present. Usually transmitted via SMS.

Cure: If Mama texts back with a positive confirmation, the test is considered successful. If not, it should be repeated every 24 hours.

Sudden Loss of Mammory: What happens when she takes her push-up bra off.

Cure: Can't remember.

Vitamin Y Deficiency:  this deficiency in body chemistry results in reported physically compelled acts of cunnilingus (aka DATY) by mongerers.  Afflicted mongerer's often report their mouths being "drawn to the Y" like "moths to light".  Severe cases of Y Deficiency have reportedly caused mongerers to venture forth into the thickest brush the PRC has to offer.
Cure:  No known, and condition rarely goes into remission.


Rimworm:  this parasitic infection of the mongerer results in the inability climax except by anal sex.  As finding such release is by no means guranteed, severe cases gone unfulfilled have been known to cause symptoms of insanity in the host.
Cure:  Fortunately, the parasite is short-lived, and full recoveries are often reported.

Wilma (Flintstone) Syndrome:  this pathology again similar in symptoms and etiology to K-Botulism (see above), Hepatitties (see above), and Barbieosis (see above), reveals itself when afflicted mongerer demonstrates a sudden, unwavering and distinct preference for the most primal and provincial females available (aka Wilma Flintstone).  Afflicted mongerer's often report dissatisfaction and/or disillusion with overly-civilized, overly-Westernized females available.  Scientists speculate condition is resultant from a primordal portion of the mongerer's caveman brain being awakened.  Some scientists speculate said provincial female's lack of shaved armpits and robust forests of pubic hair as a possible trigger to the condition.  Further, scientists also believe WFS is closely related to, if not a mutated form of Baby Giraffe Virus (see above).
Cure:  Syndrome is known to come and go with no known cure.

[ Last edited by  jetsetting2much at 22-3-2013 11:18 ]

CIVILIOSIS:  a tendancy to shun civilian one-nite-stands out of fear she might want to stay the next morning.  Extreme cases lead to CIVILIAN DENIAL SYNDROME (CDS) where said punter will attempt to pay the civvie girl anyway in hopes she will "just leave" (often with undesirable, even fatal, outcomes).

Indo-somnia - I ability to shake of the desire of Indonesia girls. Control your waking thoughts and disrupts sleeping patterns, with suffer found all times of night in Indonesian hang out like new makati. Severe suffers are know to make unexplained shopping trips to mong kong to visit the only 2 indo walk ups.
Cure: no know cure - treatment: extended stay in wan chai (please more thus only reduces symptoms)

BAR-BeRS: Bargirl Buyers Remorse Syndrome.

Serious cases cause excessive hesitation in Wanchai Punters to actively pursue an attractive Bargirl out of fear that an even more attractive one will stride in shortly thereafter.  Often resulting in lost opportunities with all the Hot bargirls until only the left-overs remain.  Hopeless frustration and drunken depression typically follow.

[ Last edited by  wander at 23-3-2013 02:03 ]

Americans are already all too familiar with the following condition:

Coyote Syndrome:  this all-too-common affliction is often a consequence of BAR-BeRS (see above), though inebriation alone is often sufficient to contract the symdrome.  A BAR-BeRS-afflicted mongerer--combined with inebriation--will often drastically lower his WG/MM/Civilian-aesthetics baseline to avoid going home alone.  This Coyote Syndrome usually strikes in early morning, as mongerer wakes (regains consciousness) to find a rather unsightly WG/MM/Civilian in his bed asleep on his arm.  This results in an immediate blood pressure spike and natural fight-or-flight panic response in the mongerer's caveman brain.  Impulse is to immediately evacuate the area (including his own dwelling).  Most important is to escape without waking his overnight partner.  (The name derives from the fact that coyotes in the wild will chew off any of their own legs caught in a hunter's trap, rather than remain trapped.)  
Cure:  No known.  If escape and evasion is not possible, symptoms may be mitigated by immediately drinking no less than 4 tequila (2-fingers by measure each) shots upon waking.  In the case of civilian Coyote Syndrome, Civilian Denial Syndrome (see above) as a treatment is currently under closely-supervised clinical trials (note: fatalities have been reported in this type of treatment.)  (Scientific community inquiries may be made to Dr. Wander).

[ Last edited by  jetsetting2much at 23-3-2013 05:04 ]

Assma: Happens when her rear end is so stunning that it takes your breath away.

Cure: Puff her.

I gotta laugh --- I wonder how many of us have read most of these "joke" afflictions and went "Yep!  Been there!".  Hehe...  I've had most of them......   

Ya see... this IS useful educational material for new punters!

Post-parting Depression: State of mind after we mongers return home after a wonderful punting trip.

Cure: Plan the next trip to Macau, PI, BKK, etc.

Ass-fixiation: What happens after a terminal bout of assma (see above)

I always thought assfixiation was when you need to push the gal off your face because you're nearly out of breath?

Depilepsy: Psychological condition leading to the preference of shaved WG's. Very common - more than 50% of mongers are affected by this condition.

Cure: Stick to Vietnamese girls. Avoid PRC.

[ Last edited by  ggherkin at 23-3-2013 11:12 ]

Carp-al Tunnel Syndrome: Unfortunate condition where her vagina smells strongly of fish.

Cure: Do Not Repeat.