woraix
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Post at 3-8-2012 18:20  Profile P.M. 
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Adult Jokes - 5

A recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida.

She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied, and again turned back to his book.

"Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes, I live over in Suntree," he answered, and then resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted. "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

[ Last edited by  woraix at 3-8-2012 18:33 ]
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woraix
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UID 86808
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Post at 3-8-2012 18:24  Profile P.M. 
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One day a single mother was in the grocery store with her 4 kids.

They were acting up.

Bad little kids.

They were running around grabbing items off the shelves crying and screaming all over the place.

The mother grabbed all and said "I should have swallowed all of you!"
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woraix
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UID 86808
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Post at 3-8-2012 18:25  Profile P.M. 
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Late one night a woman was walking home when a man grabbed her and dragged her into the bushes.

"Help me! Help me!" she screamed. "I'm being robbed!"

"You ain't being robbed" her attacker interrupted. "You're being screwed!"

The woman looked down at her attacker as he unzipped his jeans.

"If you're screwing me with that," she fumed, "I am being robbed!"
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woraix
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UID 86808
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Registered 22-3-2012
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Post at 3-8-2012 18:28  Profile P.M. 
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A psychiatrist is addressing a group of people who have all had experiences with the supernatural.

He asks: "Who here has seen a ghost?"

Everyone puts up their hands.

He then asks: "Who here has spoken with a ghost?"

Half the audience puts up their hands.

"And who here has touched a ghost?"

Ten percent of the crowd puts up their hands.

He asks: "And who here has made love with a ghost?"

One little man in the back row puts up his hand...

The psychiatrist looks down from the podium at the little man and says:

"Do you mean to tell me that you have made love with a ghost?"

The man replies, "Oh No! I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you correctly. I thought you said 'goat'."
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woraix
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UID 86808
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Post at 3-8-2012 18:31  Profile P.M. 
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A policeman sends his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation.

After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife.

Whispering under her breath, the wife says "No darling, we can't do it here, our kid is watching!"

Husband replies, "You're right, lets go to the beach."

After a while they make their way to the beach, they start to make love on an empty beach.

All of a sudden, a policeman walks up to them.

"Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can't do that in public!"

Embarrassed, the husband admits "You are right, but I had a moment of weakness. We hadn't seen each other for an entire week. Now, I'm a policeman too, and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me."

The cop thought for a second and said "Don't worry... you are a colleague and it is your first time.

But this is the third time I caught this bitch making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay."
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