Mates, I'm sure it's all been heard before. You meet a WG once, you pound her like a jackhammer. Then you decide that you enjoyed the experience, and you repeat. This goes on and on for a year and a half till you realise that you kind of like her as a fuckbuddy and not as a once off WG.

This is kind of the situation I'm in. I've been pounding this particular WG for a year and a half now, and the chemistry we have is always fantastic. We've done practically everything and anything that's up for grabs until recently, when we both decided to go get tested and to start a regular bareback relationship.

Yes, shock horror gasp. I'm probably going to get hell from alot of you but I reckon that if we're familiar with each other and I *kind of* trust her when she says that even when she does her clients it's always covered, why not right? After all, the tests shows that we're both negative STD-wise so we should be safe.

Recently, my SO decided to plan a trip with her gfs to Thailand and I'm all alone in HK. I've been thinking about whether to invite this WG to a weekend trip to Macau with me for a bangfest. I know it'll be awesome as the sex always is. My concern is, will we begin to develop feelings during the trip? Also, wondering if there's any way to mitigate any suspicions the SO might have.

Lastly, should I even be thinking about this?!

Word of advice would be nice.

There's a lot of info on here regarding punting phones (at least you don't have to explain away condoms anymore) but this all depends on your personal circumstances. A punting phone is easy to explain as a work mobile or a travel mobile etc. but it you're unlikely to have one for those purposes, it will raise suspicion.

The thing is, you're moving from hiding punting activities to hiding something that is more akin to an affair and the rules change at that point. Possibly the biggest dangers you're going to face are that you're already developing significant feelings for this woman and, as with most feelings, they may only grow and develop.

A worry is that you 'kind of' trust her. There's been a few threads here recently about taking risks etc but you need to remember that you're not only 'kind of' trusting her with your health but your SO's - would you be willing to risk her if the girl wasn't telling you the whole truth?

I"m old fashioned with WG's an see it as a (fun) business transaction where I'm paying them to walk away and be discrete. By paying them to be a lover, in an emotional sense, I'd be going against my better judgement  (I can enjoy the fantasy but, in the end, it is just a fantasy).

A friend of mine once said, never get into an affair if you're not willing to lose what you have at home (or words to that effect).

I guess I must clarify. When I say I 'kind of' trust her it doesn't mean it's not with great certainty. It's more like, preparing for the eventuality that she lied because everyone does, not just WGs.

Having known her for 1.5 years now, I am pretty sure she's a safe WG in that she practices safe sex in her trade. Bareback sex after all, was not offered to me but more of a mutual decision after years of knowing each other.

you really trust her that she is on the pill?

1.5 yrs is quite some time.....to me it sounds like a relationship of some sort.  how you want to proceed is obviously up to you.  She won't be a WG forever since its finate time in the biz

My opinion: Don't do it unless you want to eventually break up with your SO. This is very definitely a slippery slope that you are sliding down, as once you do it you're basically having an emotional and sexual affair with another person (not just a WG).

I'm sure that plenty of people have had affairs without being discovered, but the guilt (at least in my experience) can really eat at you.

That being said it's my opinion and your life is your own.

It does happen...

I have a friend in the US I've known for 10+ years.  She was a low-volume independent, whom I met as a referral from a friend of mine.  At various times in the past, we had a regular thing...  monthly fee, get together once or twice a week for a few hours.  Then she got married and we had to cut back a bit (but not completely).  Picked up again when she divorced a few years later.  But then I moved to Asia four years ago.  Now I only see her about once a year when I go back to visit.

We're very good friends.  She describes our situation as a fuck-buddy relationship.  Sex is open and wonderful.  But I'm a veteran punter and she's a pro.  It's not strictly business, but it is business.  She charges me a small fraction of the going rate, but I always pay her.  We know the intimate details of each others' lives.  But we also know where to respect the boundaries.

So it can work.  Of course, it can also fail miserably and fuck up your life...  

Have fun, CGP

My two cents: "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

You are talking about a major paradigm shift in the relationship in at least 4 ways:

1. Higher STD risk.
2. Much higher pregnancy risk (unless you've had your nuts cut).
3. Much higher public exposure and discovery risk.
4. Much more emotional risk for both of you.

If the connection and sex is already awesome, why not continue the discrete p4p arrangement as is? If anything, consider seeing her a little less often and appreciate it even more when you are together.

Picture yourself being seen by your SO's relative/co-worker/friend in Macau as opposed to "just" being caught having seen a prostitute on an impulse (as it might look if your usual situation were discovered). Picture yourself having an unwanted pregnancy discussion rather than "just" having to discretely clear up an infection.

We all take a certain amount of risk with typical p4p activity. Are you ready and willing to increase your risk by an order of magnitude?  Is it worth it?

It sounds like you have a great thing going already - the kind of regular ATF WG thing any of us wish we had - why change it?

Well, imagine you SO discovers that you have a long time affair....with a WG. Utterly shame and devastation, do you hate her that much to do that to her?
All std/prego risks aside, why don;t you keep it discreet like other forumers suggested? If you're happy with SO but want some extra action then fine (you're on the right website and nobody will blame you), But if you do it because you don't love your SO anymore or for other reason I think it's time to reconsider the relationship with the SO.
Not saying that you should engage in a serious relationship with the WG, which in my opinion would be a total failure, in any case you need to set things straight with your current situation.

WG are made to entertain men, I don't think you should develop a relationship with her.

Good luck!

Thanks everyone for the pieces of advice. They certainly go a long way toward helping me make my decision.

A few things to clarify:

I'm not in love with the WG. It's merely a fuckbuddy thing, if you can even call that a relationship. I do not plan to get into one with her. The reason why I'm thinking of the Macau trip is merely the thrill of fucking her in some place other than her workplace which is getting abit stale.

On a second note, I brought up the idea to WG today just to sound her out and her response was "I'm free and fine to go anywhere with you on the weekends but I suppose it's more of you not having it so convenient to get to Macau in the first place. If you really want to make it happen, you'd best have a plan/lie/story in mind that will hide from your SO."

I'm leaning more toward not making Macau happen now, but would like to hear more of your POVs.

P.S. Regarding birth control, she's repeatedly insisted that she's been taking pills although I can't be 100% sure. Basically, I don't really see an incentive for her to lie and want to have my child or whatever (if anything happens she doesn't have any hold over me to take responsibility $$-wise or anything). So in that sense, I do think she has an equal reason as me not to want to have an unwanted pregnancy.

[ Last edited by  Ph3n0m at 8-5-2012 23:27 ]

As long as your mind is clear and that you are ready with the consequences (as all other guys in this forum with girlfriends or wives -ie risk of getting caught). Then get on with it and have a good time in Macau or anyplace else. Nevertheless, in my opinion, you are taking a great risk regarding stds and pregnancy. I imagine she would do BBJCIM or DATY sometimes for the extra $$$.

A buddy of mine got drunk and fucked one girl he knew for a long time (not his GFm she was not a WG just a working relation), 9 month later guess what happened...

Apologies for mis-reading the kind of trust thing - i get what you mean now.

For me, I personally wouldn't risk the Macau thing as, reading into what you're saying (apologies if I get this wrong) you really don't want to leave your wife. As has been said, if someone see's you in Macau with another woman it could get messy and very difficult to explain.

The baby thing - thats a matter of conscience I guess. If this became an issue of four people's lives in 9 months time (rather than the three currently) how would you feel? You say that she has no hold over you money-wise but kids have a habit of changing priorities when they arrive (regardless of how little we say they will!). it was the last thing on my mind but there is a danger that the girl could see you as her knight in shining armour and its an easy way to trap you?

For me, I wouldn't for the reasons stated above but, this i your life and you only get one shot so you need to do what is ultimately right for you!

I hope this works out for you

Errrr.  Unless you are thinking (conciously or not) of breaking up with your SO, I wouldn't risk it. Macau is a boat trip away from hk for you as it is for your SOs friends. If they see you, they'll tell... Because ni matter what they say, people like it when the shit hits the fan... In others relationships.

Te baby risk is real and unless you trust her 100%, dont risk it. Finally getting tested now is not an insurance for the future...

My 2cts: dont.

May I ask if you've been banging other WGs in the past couple of years? Or is it just this special WG of yours that you've been seeing pretty much exclusively?

Wachovia: I've banged a few other WGs (protected of course!) in the past couple of years, but I've been seeing this particular one at least once a week if not twice.

And no, I've never reported on this one of my regulars.

[ Last edited by  Ph3n0m at 9-5-2012 06:58 ]

Why don't you travel somewhere away from the HK/Macau area where your SO's friends are far less likely to bump into you?

Seems a safer bet.

This may be a stupid answer but if the excitement is to have sex putsode her workplace, why not just take her out to dinner and.goto a hotel in hk as opposed  to being seen in macau? If you get spotyed by people you know in a retaurant its easier to brush off. "Just a dinner with a friend or colleague..."

Yes, the most dangerous - and not at all too uncommon - thing about bare-backing a WG (no matter whether she is "trustworthy or not) is pregnancy.

And whether she's actually pregnant or not, or pregnant by you if so, is of no consideration as you're naturally "on the hook" for a larger than usual "pay-off!"

SEAJ

If I learned one thing while doing my punting is that HK is a small place. 2 examples:

1- I had some girl I used to fuck on a regular basis. Since I'm stupid I live nearby and the convenience made me careless. One day she spots me on the streets and hailed me, problem: I was with SO, very very very close shave.

2- I got a massage and HJ in an hotel in ShenZhen, next day I'm in HK central ferry.... I saw the exact same girl with a guy I believed was her sugar daddy. I mean come on...what are the odds?!

Don't go too much public, you might get burnt.

Hey Bro,

Ignore all of the above naysayers (about seeing her, not about the bareback thing).

First, these ARE two very different issues.  She is a WG, and perhaps has other bros who have fallen into a similar intimate relationships wiith her and also got to a BB stage.  Well, who have THEY fucked recently, right?  So, no..., it is simply never a good idea to BB anyone except your SO.  I have done it, and regretted it every time.  Dont do it.

BUT:  Man, I have such great times doing exactly the thing you have proposed to do.  Flying off somewhere to spend a couple nites with a WG-who-became-a-FB.  I've gone to Thauiland a few times, to Manilla, to Shanghai...  it is awesome.  You get to be on your "honeymoon" even though a marriage never happened.  You pretend to be girlfriend/boyfriend doing the touristy things, going for dinner, and then shag all nite and each morning, and after the swim, and before the swim, etc. etc.

For me, I like going to their home-countries and have them be the tour guide for me.  They get to be the proud-host showing the very best their country has to offer, and this makes them sooooo damn happy.  Good luck getting ANY sleep during such a trip.  She'll be fucking your brains out!

Now then..., if your SO, or her friends are regular Macau visitors it does indeed make the place less safe.  Which is why I prefer flying off to places where it would be extremely unlikley to randomly bump into people she knows.  But..., yeah..., I have done Macau too with a beauty or two...

Hey.  Ya gotta die somehow, right?  A bullet to the head 'cause ya got caught nailing a sexpot aint the worst way!!

Let me add only one thing. Doing it BB is a bad idea. She could have god knows what, even if she is using a condom with her other partners, and even if she is on the pill, she could have forgotten, etc. as SEA said, if she gets pregnant, it's gonna be your problem. If you are not cut, that's gonna be a hell of a lot of potential pain and suffering.

Not worth it dude. Sack up.

The emotional shit, well... That you have to sort out.