Santa was exhausted yet festive. He'd been looking forward to the end of his stint at Mongkok's Langham Place shopping mall--a queue of avaricious kiddies snaked around the ornaments and fake trees as ghostly carols echoed.

Santa was weary of cranky tykes tugging at his beard as they demanded xPads and iBoxes. But his replacement, the nephew of the property-tycoon who built the cavernous consumatorium, was always on time. The kid had no brain and an expensive watch, but he was obsessed with Christmas and in a few minutes he would appear and scoot into the Santa suit.

"Hey Santa," said his boss's voice softly into his ear. "There's a problem with Richie tonight." Santa looked at his boss and held up a white-gloved hand to the next eager kid: "Just a minute, sonny, ho ho ho!" Back to the boss: "What the FUCK, Ken, he's always on time!"

"Look," said Ken, "he's locked himself in his room and won't come out." Santa knew that the Apple Daily story was true: Richie's dad had built him a soundproof karaoke room where the deluded weirdo would sing "Frosty The Snowman" over and over until he collapsed. But, he always showed up on time. Until tonight.

"Santa," said Ken, "you KNOW who he is and the situation. I got another Santa from Yuen Long, he'll be here in an hour, so please cover for him. I know it's an imposition so here's an early gift, just keep all this between us, OK?"

Richie slipped a red lai see packet into Santa's pocket, making sure the brown note was visible. "Just an hour, maybe even less. Sorry again and thanks."

Santa nodded. He could stand another hour of kids demanding consumer goods. Sometimes there was unintended entertainment, like the boy who asked: "Santa, will you please get my dad to stop 'playing-doctor' with the maid as Mom's getting really angry." Santa couldn't resist a peek at Mom, who gave him a stare that said: "Give that kid the right answer or I'll shred your fake beard." He played it straight, and laughed later.

Forty-seven minutes later, the Yuen Long Santa charged in, adjusting his beard and deftly handling the next kid. Santa stood up. He was hungry. He'd promised HK$1,344,569 worth of imaginary presents in a little under five hours.

Santa headed to the Langham Place escalators, stripping his beard/hat/jacket off and stuffing them in his backpack as he made his way up to MosBurger.

An unexpected windfall meant ordering the MosCombo was the way to go. He handed over the 500 and noted his wallet contained only a few of those plastic HK$10 notes that looked like they came from another planet.

He examined at the change the MosDrone gave him. Well over $400. He looked out the window.

Mongkok. Neon. Concrete. Reality. Pink lights.

"Ho ho ho," said Santa.

to be continued....

[ Last edited by  JackTheBat at 8-12-2011 22:50 ]

One thing I know is being in my home town, 400 could have for sure gotten ya at least 5 pints with some change and some good laughs with the so call "JIM" of the forums!

Part 2 is now online...Santa muses on the metaphysical connection between messy burgers and TITS.

mmmmm. tits.

JtB