Many more blond jokes
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a hand grenade in her mouth!
How do you keep a blonde busy?
You give her a bottle of shampoo that says: "Lather, rinse, and repeat."
How do you keep a blonde busy?
You put her in a round room and tell her to go sit in the corner."
Why do blondes always have such big hair?
So they can catch things that are over their heads.
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $100 bill. Who picks it up?
The dumb blonde! Because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
The vegetable garden.
What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.
Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
They can't get eight cups of water into that little packet.
Why did the blonde only change her baby's Pampers twice a month?
Because the box said "for 18 to 24 pounds."
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
You can park in the handicapped zone.
What do you call eight blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.
What did the blonde say when she got pregnant?
"Gee, I hope it's mine."
Why was the blonde excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?
Because the box said 4 to 6 years.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted.
A blonde looked at her drivers license and got depressed when she saw that she got an "F" in sex.
How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
She's the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"
Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
She wanted to get a dark tan.
What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?
"Just flush it like everybody else does."
Hear about the blonde explorer?
She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert.
Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.
What is every blonde's ambition in life?
To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
She threw it off of a cliff.
How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for french fries.
Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?
So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
From eating with forks.
What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A space invader.
What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
Branch manager.
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk."
Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt?
A brain tumor.
What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, she is 18.
Did you hear about the three blondes who were driving to Disneyland?
After being in the car for hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home.
What do most blondes get on an IQ test?
Drool.
These two blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it.
Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?
They are for those who don't drink!
Why did God give every blonde two more brain cells than a cow?
So they don't moo-moo when you pull on their titties.
What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes at a four way stop.
How did the blonde die while drinking milk?
The cow sat down!
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