Some examples ... might be useful in tight corners, but don't overuse : they get old very quickly
"You're late again, which means you don't love me."
Intent: I'm glad you care enough about me to be concerned about that.
Consequence: You're just trying to get me to always fit within your timetable.
Another Outcome: Would you have preferred me to cancel our dinner, if I knew I was going to be late?
Counter Example: Have you ever loved someone, but still been late?
Apply to Self: An accusation like that makes it sound like you don't love me.
Reality Strategy: How did you come to that conclusion? Has someone accused you of something similar in the past?
Model of the World: I'm guessing that it's not so much that I'm late, but you're concerned about me not focusing on the little things in our relationship.
Meta frame: Where did you learn that being on time equates to love?
Change Frame Size: Most people are late for meetings every day ... are you saying that none of them care?
Hierarchy of Criteria: Isn't it more important that I actually made the effort to get here, in spite of everything that happened along the way?
Chunk Down: What about all the times I have been on time?
Chunk Up: You're judging an entire relationship based on time-keeping?
Metaphor/Analogy: Isn't that like saying if you don't cook for me every time, you don't love me?
Redefine: You're saying a small delay defines an entire relationship?
"I am not going to do that—I am not that kind of person!"
Intent: It's great that you make decisions based on how you see yourself as a person.
Consequence: Why are you focused on decisions which avoid you having to leave the house?
Another Outcome: But if you don't do that, can you ever hope to develop into the person you'd like to become?
Counter Example: Have you ever done something that you didn't think was "you", yet you really enjoyed it?
Apply to Self: You're not the kind of person to pre-judge, yet here you are - pre-judging.
Reality Strategy: And exactly what kind of person do you have to be to do that kind of thing?
Model of the World: Does everyone who is afraid to try something new say that?
Meta frame: You're only saying that because you're afraid of what others might think.
Change Frame Size: Yeah, that's right. Only a truly open-minded person would do that.
Hierarchy of Criteria: What's more important, trying new things and expanding your horizons or being safe and restricted in your tiny comfort zone?
Chunk Down: What kind of person would that make you, specifically?
Chunk Up: Do you always get out of trying new things by making excuses?
Metaphor/Analogy: People aren't born astronauts.
Redefine: You don't have to tie up your identity with a few actions.
