Just wondering what everyone's weirdest sex scene was.  Embarrassing, odd, weird, or anything special about a certain sex experience, paid or not paid.

Here is mine:

When I was in college at 20 years old, I had a paying intern job at a real estate firm.  Every 3rd of the month, I would collect rent checks on a specific set of buildings.  So there is one building that was in SOHO (artsy kind of area) and I always enjoyed looking at the girls that lived in those buildings.  Normally they were either artists, shop owners or students sharing space.  

I stepped into the building and went on collecting rent checks.  I then went into apartment 4D, I will never forget it because when she opened the door I was shocked because she was wearing nothing but a man's dress shirt and wired up.  She asks me to come in, turns out she is the renter's friend and there are 2 others sleeping in the bedroom.  She is looking for the rent check in the guy's drawer and can't find it and he won't wake up.  She then does 2 lines of coke off the table.  Asks me if I want, (mind you I hate COKE).  I politely decline and she tells me to wait for the dude to get up.  I told her I would be back after getting the other apts. checks.

So this is my last building of the day and the real estate place is literally 3 blocks away from the building.  I put in all my checks to the secretary and go back to the building.  She opens up the door, still doing lines of coke and more wired than before.  I am still waiting for the guy to get up and she offers me a beer.  I am drinking a cold one while she is still doing more lines and watching television.  

Out of nowhere she says, "I am horny, you want to fuck?"  As a college kid, we always had condoms ready in pocket and fucked her while her friends slept.  I hung out up there for the next full day and partied with them.  When I left the next day she asked me, "who the fuck are you?" LOL... I never got my rent check from him and it was my last day as an intern.  

Felt like a film noir type of thing during the whole fiasco.

thanks for sharing

thanks for sharing.  now why doesn't something like that happen more often...like to me.

Oddest sex experience?

Hmmmmmm - have to think about this before replying.

Not so much as weird during sex, but one time I spent overnight with a hotel girl, the way she sleeps was unforgettable. She sleeps face down with the lower part of her legs kick up 90 degree.

Well here are my two bits regarding the topic.

Working in the hotel, I had my share of sexual experiecnes, had regular sex with one of the departmental manager in her office.  One early sunday morning I had sex in the exceutive washroom with one of the hostess.  More to come.

Thanks for the story bro. Yeah, I did a lot of sex and drugs in my younger days - trouble is, most of it's a blur
and I just can't remember a lot of what actually happened.  

This happened when I was at university in the States. I lived in the dorm my first year and hated it; so I looked for and found a really nice room in a bldg off campus. Problem was that the room was only available in Sept, and I had to move out of the dorm in July. At the time I was seeing this really hot Chinese American girl who lived with her parents on the first floor of a 3 story apartment bldg about a mile from campus. When I explained my housing problem to my GF, she suggested I move in with her! Now, at that time Chinese parents did not want their daughters to be dating white guys. In fact, I'd already been seeing my GF for a year and she made it very clear that I was never going to be having dinner with the Chens.

This was her solution: every night at around 9 PM, I would walk down the side of the bldg and tap on the window and she would let me climb into her bedroom. She put a lock on the bedroom door so no one would come in and find us naked in bed together. (Can you imagine her mom walking in and finding a 6'4" gwailo porking her supposedly virgin daughter! Ai ya!!)  My GF worked in a bank, so she had to leave early in the morning, but her parents also worked. So my GF put a sleeping bag in this huge walk-in closet in her bedroom and a lock on the inside of the closet door. When she left for work, I would sleep for another hour or so in the closet, and only come out when the parents had left for work and the house was empty. I would make myself breakfast, shower and leave, only to return at 9 PM.

Every night we had sex about 10 feet from the parents watching TV in the living room. At least half a dozen times the mother would knock on the door and ask in Chinese why my GF was making so much noise. It was really erotic continuing to screw my GF while she was trying to calmly converse with her mother in a language I didn't understand a word of.

This worked perfectly until mid August. One day I got up and took a nice long shower. The bathroom was right next to my GF's parents' bedroom and there was a full-length mirror between the two doors. So on this day, I'd just finished showering and was standing in the hallway stark naked looking at myself in the mirror when the parents' bedroom door opens and there is her father about 3 feet from me!!! I ran into my GF's bedroom, locked the door, dressed in about 30 seconds, and jumped out the window.

I went to see my GF at the bank where she worked as a teller, waited in line for 5 mins, and told her what happened. I thought she would faint, but she just laughed until her supervisor came over and asked what was going on. That same night I again slept in my GF's apt. The father never mentioned anything to anyone. Come Sept, I moved into my new apt.

To this day, I have no idea what he thought: my daughters finally a woman, or there was a naked burglar in my apt, or I must be hallucinating.

Good one, do you mean the bathroom was outside of your GF's bedroom ?
You like to live dangerously when you're young eh ?

My first drink
i was 18
stationed in Germany
went off base to the beer fest in Stuttgart
had my first beer
a LARGE MUG
two old ladies heard it was my first
within an hour they had me tossing them back Benny Hill style
got so fuc*ed up did not care what i was doing or who saw
but i have never been a bad drunk the few times i got that way
just joke and cut up more
had to take a piss
both of them fell out
a couple of younger German girls saw it
and freaked out
they ran over and both grabed one each
wanted to know why i only pee out of one of them
they got me on that ride
like a priate ship that hanges on a pendant
swings back and forth
each of them was sucking one
as we swing back and forth all the people waiting to ride next was watching
trying to get a better view of exactly what was going on and how
i was so drunk i though it was only a dream

next monday got called into the Battalion Commanders office
oh shit
he asked if i had a good time this past weekend
had no idea what was comming
i thought it was a dream

turns out his wife was in line waiting to ride next (me or the ship dont know) and took a shitload of photos to show him as we swung by each time
haha
he was pretty cool about it though
closed the door and wanted to know if i was born that way or what
never been so embarassed in my life


not so shy these days

guess you outgrow some things

on the way out he asked if i remembered how i got home
i said no
he said the police mans whos boots i threw up on put me in a cab and paid for it to take me home
i owe a drink to the nice German Officer
he was very good guy
new i was young and first time drunk from the 2 old drinking teacher gals buying my drinks

will always love Germany and its people


later got an offer from a german company to pose for some underground books and films
currupted my poor little mind for life
haha

[ Last edited by  southernpod at 15-1-2008 14:59 ]

southernpod, are you also drunk when you were typing this post? or maybe it's me but I don't quite get what you mean in the 1st part....

lol. I still like sexpert's story the best. After that experience, how can you even say you hate coke?!?

Ok for my story:

So I was walking in the suburbs this one time, right? Then I saw this duck...

not a big drinker
never have been
that was my first beer experiance

what part do you not understand?

Bro, this is you second post where you imply you have 2 dicks. Care to explain.      

there are parts that I don't understand too...but what do you mean by this:

had to take a piss
both of them fell out
a couple of younger German girls saw it
and freaked out
they ran over and both grabed one each
wanted to know why i only pee out of one of them

???

One GF I had, I used to drive her home but she didn't like me to walk her into her apartment building - OK, I admit it - she
was married. On 5 or 6 occasions, all at night, our passionate goodnight kisses turned into full sex in the front seat of the car.

Now you might ask what's so crazy and dangerous about that? Well, this was during an overseas posting to a middle east
country where men and women are strictly segregated and we couldn't even use the private company swimming pool at
the same time. Even man and wife couldn't.       To get caught having sex could have meant jail and a public
whipping for both of us. In this same country, I twice saw public beheadings.

The other thing about the sex was that I'd turned off the car engine so we'd be less conspicuous, which meant the air-
conditioning was also off. If you haven't been to the middle east, you have no idea how hot it can be. Daytime temperatures
were in the mid-40s and, even at night, it was in the high 30s. Within seconds of turning off the AC, we were both bathed in
sweat. It was like having sex in a sauna - I've never sweated so much in my life and we both went home soaking wet.  

But man, the sex was unbelievable.    

not implying

only 2? haha

i was born with 2

one over the other

lucky mom or dad did not have them cut one off
as my physiology is also a bite different
lets just say a blood transfution from me and you would never need help from the little pill again
as i get older the drive actually goes up not down
becomeing more of a task though
not all positives as you would think
having two
beeing able to do as many times a day as i want
if i give in too much
gets boring though as well as job suffereing
so not easy to keep it interesting as much as i have to do to stay healthy

so again
once the girls read the chinese version of my medical records allow me to pretty much do as i please
as they love me and want me to be healthy
hahahahaha.....sorry cant help but chuckle
not often a man can get a note from his doctor saying one pussy is not enough
fuck 3 of these and call me in the morning kind of thing

i actually get ill if i dont get enough sex
can expain the medical side better some other time and place

but not here
more to joke over a beer

but because of that
even good girls cut me alot of slack about fucking other girls

I would imagine every experience is an odd or weird experience with you.  LOL.. JK!

its cool man
i love to joke
and i take it as well as i give it with
puns and jokes
so everyone is wellcome to take a shot
just dont get to mean
or i may beat you over the head with the big one

FROM HERE

I would let you bop it over my head just to see it out of curiosity! LOL...