Originally posted by priapus at 9-5-2011 08:45
... Did you married guys just get married too early? ...
that's a bit of an over-simplification
In my case - and I think in many others also - getting married was "the best thing in my life" at the time it happened, and for quite a long while afterwards also ...
and no, I didn't marry early ...
But things change, and you have to keep a flexible mind in order to respond to the new challenges you face each day.
When you look closely you realise that punting actually keeps a lot of marriages together ... and it becomes even harder to join the puritanical brigade in condemning it, or even feel the slightest bit guilty about P4P.
Interesting factoid:- it is only relatively recently in Human History, as a result of advances in medical science and hygiene, that marriages last longer than about 10 years on average.
Diseases and infections
Lack of contraception,
compounded by complications in childbirth
Violence and conflicts
... and the surviving partner had the opportunity to start over ... for thousands of years, right up to the last century or so ... truth is most marriages were short term temporary things.
Furthermore if you look at how marriage is handled in different cultures, you quickly see that even the concept of "till death do us part" is itself more closely related to a Judaeo-Christian heritage than it is to do with fundamental human needs.
By contrast these days an unbroken marriage can easily have to last 20 / 30 / even 40 years ... and aside from a few who get lucky with their choices, we're simply not equipped either socially or mentally for the challenge of upholding antiquated and outdated marriage structures.
Unless you live in France, where you can sign a "Certificat de Concubinage" and live as a married couple for a fixed term of two or three years.