I'm pouring my heart here so please bear with me. Click the 'back' button if you're expecting some juicy details, 'cos this post is about asking for perspectives from my fellow brethren. This is one of those threads that punter meets woman, punter smitten by woman, punter is now in over his head at woman. This punter is yours truthly, and the woman in question is [bold]not[/bold] a WG (or so she said), she works in a veggie massage salon. I had an 11pm punt in the other side of the island, did not go home immediately (as i'm a skint who does not want to pay HKD150 for a taxi ride back to HK island), so i went to have some cheap seafood at those streetside stalls around the vicinity, and took a stroll with the intent of heading to 37D at around 3-4am for a punt before catching the early MTR back to the island. So i saw this really hot, tight ars PRC milf walking into a massage salon so i followed her in, and realised this place is a legit veggie place, as i saw some woman clienteles getting foot massages, and their body massage area is not so private, so i don't reckoned there are any hanky-panky happy endings. With a stroke of luck, I was assigned with that very same hot milf (let's call her AT), that caught my attention on the streets. [bold]Background of AT[/bold]: AT had just quited her job as a cashier. She's currently going through a divorce proceeding (she married a HK guy). Got her HKID, HK guy cheated on her with multiple women, so she felt aggrieved and decided to left him). Reason she hired a lawyer is becos ex-husband did not want to give her a cent of alimony, and she felt she was entitled to some as she helped out on the guy's business, and it was the guy's fault fooling and sleeping around. But i appreciate that it was her side of the story and things could well very be different from his side. I reserved my judgment on this. At that time, I just found this milf hot. They didn't have any kids. [bold]Background of yours truthly[/bold]: I'm single, approaching my mid 30s, (slightly younger than her) never married. New to HK, don't have many friends. I've a decent job that provides me with a half-decent paycheck, not rich, no assets no car, no family fortune but debt-free. In the looks department, I'm about a bit overweight (but i've been told by a lot of people that i'm decent looking and would be a real charmer if i lost weight, I'm quite a tall bloke and that took the attention from me being overweight, looks of cos is besides the point here, but i'm just trying to say i'm not a fat ugly wanker!). The last time I was in a relationship was years ago. The reason i've never been back in a relationship is becos of work, and i couldn't be arsed with all that courtship BS when i can pay for commercial sex with different women. [bold]Events that transpired[/bold]: Anyway, during the massage, there's no hint of any hanky panky, and we chatted casually like old friends (i'm an expat, but also a mandarin speaker). She was wearing a run-down jeans (still quite tight), and s/sleeve top. I was busy admiring her tight body, cute ars and foxy look and spent two hours with her. (HKD 290 dollars in total with some oil massage). I asked her for her number after the session and she gave it to me. The very next day, i called her out and we spent the whole day shopping (she didnt buy anything expensive, and i paid just HKD30 for a cap for her niece), and having dinner at a restaurant that only cost me HKD300 (she called her sister and her niece along, who happen to live around that area!). Although at one point, she was trying on mid-range clothing that cost HKD 5,000! But she didn't want to buy as it is obviously not worth that price! But at no point did she asked me to pay for it. I had really enjoyed the day spent with her and invited her to my place in HK island. She declined saying she's not the type of woman that will follow a man home on the first date. So we went for some cheap beers at those streetside restaurants after sending off her niece and her sis. After the beer session, (we had about 6 bottles of beers between the two of us), she agreed to let me up to her apartment to rest while waiting for the morning train. This was after i coaxed her into it by promising i won't push her to do anything she didn't feel like, i.e. fucking. We spent the next 3 hours at her tiny matchbox apartment, and we cuddled in bed, some light caressing i.e. no caressing of her crotch. Had some really sensational kissing, LFK and DFK. But no sex, and with both of us almost fully clothed. Even though i could have had more access to her breasts, i was being a gentleman and avoided some serious boobs fondling. Everytime we started DFK, she would hold back after 20 secs or so, only to resume 30 mins later. This went on for the entire 3-4 hours. She said she's afraid of getting in so quickly into a relationship with me, after only meeting my acquaintance for one day and i fully understand that. I'm not sure what i'm after at that time, to be honest (obviously a fuck...?), but at the same time, i really missed that GFE experience which you can only get for an hour with a WG (if you're lucky!). Our background are quite poles apart in every department e.g. education level etc. Plus, she speaks zero english, and although i'm chinese, my preferred mode of communication is English. I speak decent enough mandarin, albeit broken. She left school at a very young age, and is street smart. And of course, she's still legally married! (although she's going through that divorce proceeding currently) I really felt we had something, that feeling called chemistry? love? wtf. AT is a filial daughter. She doted on her family and mother (most of them in China). She's going back visiting in PRC soon for a few weeks, and the next time i can see her will probably be in April. We chatted about making plans for those guided tours around HK/China/Thailand later part of this year. I just missed that GFE/relationship feeling. I called her tonight and she's at a friend's place. She didn't lie to me or anything, and she did mention that today she was going to spend time with a friend and possibly treating that friend to a meal for introducing her to a money-making opportunity. (i realised it's a guy from the background voice). I got really jealous. Throughout our beer session, she did mentioned that a friend introduced her to a Mamasan job at a nightclub, and she's seriously considering that offer. She made it clear her objective post-divorce is to make money as quickly as possible to be self-sustainable (she left her husband without a cent, hence the legal proceeding to get some alimony/money); her dream is to buy an apartment. Had it not been me, she would have returned to her part-time veggie massage job in the salon operated by a friend after our dinner, and she made that remark that she would never miss making money from jobs just to go shopping/dinner. She needs money to pay the legal fees. But she forfeited jobs that night to spend time with me. She also kept harping on the fact that i'm younger than her, and her ideal man is someone older, in their mid-40s. But I can sense she felt something for me too. Never at any point that night did she ask me for money. (although i did joke that i am willing to make her my kept woman), and in a way, 'led' her into thinking I can provide for her, which was not the ideal way to start this. I'm in that situation where i don't know what to do now.... shall i pursue that relationship knowing that she's street-smart, and possibly stringing me along for a big windfall, not that i have a lot of money myself, but i live a comfortable life within my means and can still afford a few punts a week. I'm not looking for any advice nor counselling. Just your thoughts please. P.S: It's a worthy mention that today, i visited 37D to try to get her out of my system, but my mind is still all about her, so much so that i couldn't really concentrate on my punt with a hot model-like shanghainese girl!

[ Last edited by  kaka at 28-3-2011 22:09 ]

That's a tough one, but you can't possibly be serious and involve yourself w/ someone like that.  It's all about money.

Maccalim,

Read what you wrote a couple of times and you should beable to come to your own conclusion.  If not, your board of directors here will give you plenty of advice very soon.

MacC
Bottom line is:

Had it not been me, she would have returned to her part-time veggie massage job in the salon operated by a fellow female PRC friend after our dinner, and she made that remark that she would never miss making money from that job just to go shopping/dinner.

She will not be making any real choices until she is stable moneywise.

Just go in eyes wide open.

Che'lu

Bro, you need to think on three levels

Head
Heart
Dick

Those three elements function completely independently, and you can't make a decision to serve the needs you have on one level by acting on a different level.  Of course, engaging all three levels simultaneously is fun, but by no means necessary with any one person.  And yes, there's a neurological basis for the separation, the brain really does have three independent circuits that regulate our relationships.  

Your head is clearly disengaged for the time being ... not in itself a problem, but it'll cut back in eventually when the hormones settle, as long as you haven't already made a big commitment that you might find difficult backing out of.  

Sounds like you need more than just sex.  You're very much into her, and into being wanted by someone playing hard-to-get.  Your jealousy issues could get you into big trouble though.  Don't worry about her seeing other guys, she'll be comparing you to them and you'll be winning(you already know that: she wouldn't give you the time of day if her other guys were satisfying her, so clearly they're not).  One thing we know about women is that they get attached to whoever gives them good sex, so if you start to get intimate she will quickly stop seeing any other guys as anything other than friends.  Oxytocin is very powerful, and its effects tend to be underestimated by guys, especially younger guys.  

And last (but by no means least) she clearly wants you to fuck her brains out multiple times.  But given her history there will probably be a massive sore-spot right about the question of fidelity ... so you'll have to be clear about what it is you want for yourself before dick meets pussy.  

Since you asked, here's some advice: don't let her do anything "for you" that involves her doing less work or giving up any income she might otherwise make.  If she offers or seems to be thinking about spending time away from real work, push her away (don't worry, she'll respect you for being firm and will be back as fast as a bent penny) and make it clear she doesn't need to make a sacrifice (again that's clearly a pattern in her life: to be self-sacrificing and then become resentful about what she gave away).  I'm ready to bet that if you do no more than just stay in touch, meet her from time to time (no more than three times a week) she'll be begging you to service her soon enough.

my first impression is she wants money or security from you.

but even the most devious woman can breakdown and fall in love.
so nobody can tell you she's 100% out for your money only.

maybe one day, she really falls in love with you, and wants nothing but just you.
if that happens, congrats!

if it's abt money, good luck to you.

meanwhile, to find out, you just have to continue "dating" her.
just remember to control your wallet.

Thanks for sharing.

Its early days. Just enjoy the thrill of the chase and see where it brings you. I predict interesting times ahead for you. But dont do something dumb (yet) like going bareback or buying her a ring or apartment.

I think TT going back to PRC for a few weeks might be the best thing to happen to you right now - out of sight, out of mind. Give you a bit of time to really get your head straight.

Your completed blinded by the GFE which you perceive to be genuine, in-addition to being free. Women in this industry tend to have alot of strings attached. Believe 10% of what she says. The stories she tells you have probably been told to many other men and once she has you on hook, she's gonna tell you she's needs your help financially. Its soo textbook.

For an expat like yourself with a good career there should be many other fishes in the sea.

although u miss the relationship stuff and that you found someone your interested in. just try to watch out because she did mention that she needs money right now. although u may not be rich but money is money and where ever she can get it she will .

i think it is best to just be more of a friend and not try to go in deeper until she gets to settle down a bit.  because you dont want to be the one that is buying her a place unless you want to ?

Bloody hell, u sound just like me, I am besotted right now with this woman! But I know this will not last so for my advice just have fun as we only get to live once!

I dunno mate, you say you would rather pay for sex than have a gf ( granted there isa topic on this, which is cheaper) and yet you are falling for her.. Granted there was no sex involved.

Lemme ask you, you say you don't have many friends cause of work, yet you have time to go out and have sex. You can't be arsed to lose weight yet your friends say you would be attractive if you did lose weight. Would it not be good to take (and I'm sure I'll be Bollocked for saying this) time away from some of your sexcapades and hang out with some friends, perhaps have a beer after work in a bar with chicks around that aren't wg's? See if any catch your fancy, losing weight is not all about taking time and going to the gym, set a goal, even 1 kg a month, eat less crisps, less soda/ iced tea. Drink water and cut down on 'white foods' - rice, eat fruit at lunch, heavy breaky or lunch, light dinner. I did this many years ago and lost about 10kg in 5 months.

If anything either this girl will end up falling for you, or you meet a nice girl with friends. Who knows, whatever makes YOU happy is what matters most.

But as others have said watch your wallet and don't fall too fast and easily.. Seen it many a time with expats getting suckered by Chinese and FIL girls - lots of gold diggers out there, to me first and foremost take care of yourself, lose weight and you will have to fend off the chicks. There is an excess of girls in hk. Think like 2 girls for every guy, most really materialistic (again there is another thread about this), so if you really work at it you will have your pic in the end. When she is in Orc see if the initial 'puppy love' feeling goes away.

My 2 cents, not sure if it makes much sense..

Thanks for all the replies. Things just got complicated and I just got home from her place, already late for work so will do a summary of the latest events:

Spent the night with her at her place, we kissed and eventually got to third base, except there's no condoms. So I ended up DATY and fucking her with my finger.... all night. She's a nympho in bed, (licked her own juice off my fingers!) And she taste really good in her neither regions. Very VERY wet. And she was wet all night. Got to sleep at 5am, woke up at 7, came home, took a shower and heading out to work now.

She asked if she could borrow 20K for the lawyers fee, i told her i do not have that much to lend her and offer to lend 5K. She wasn't mad, but said it wasn't enough and refused my offer. She said she is seriously going for the Mamasan job at a nightclub joint in Mongkok.

We chatted all night inbetween the hot wet frolickings and at one point she jokingly-seriously ask me to buy her a LV bag that costs 9K. I know where this is heading, but i can't seem to detached myself completely from her. She's one of the best fucks (albeit my finger being the receipient for the time being) I have ever had..... completely slutty and genuinely horny in bed.

I spend about, on average 2K a week on commercial sex. I was thinking of consolidating all that commercial sex money and just make her my fuck companion.

[ Last edited by  maccalim at 22-3-2011 09:15 ]

Dude, u had a good lay and seems like she had fun, would it be better to move on now? Not saying she is a gold digger but she may want your cash now she got your trusts! Mine is quite the reverse the lady offered me money to buy a flat, I said no of course! I like her but future wise is a no no, have the fun but move on to a real gf without the hassle!

-See her more and get to know her better. Impossible to love someone you don't really know, and that takes time.

-Lead with your heart and get to know whats in her heart

-When its time to make a decision , do it with your head

-Since you spend the money any way, help her out with the 20k and hope it evens out with 10 weeks of exclusive sex. If there is a future for you 2 she will need the divorce first.

that can be changed easily.
just visit Macau & China more often.

Sounds like an infatuation to me.  Lonlieness can lead us to take any companionship we can get.  Dont let your first encounters with her dictate what could be some long lasting decisions.  But Im not good at advice so listen to Dartagnan, he makes good clear points to heed.

Evolutionary speaking, men go after women with looks and signs of fertility. Women go after men for comfort and support. The attraction is not the based on the same criteria. Sure, there could be butterflies in the tummy but nothing beats more than the cash that can afford a good life. If the man cannot afford her expenses and fees, then she would resort to hot fast cash in the market. Given that HK is a perfect melting pot for it.

Before you smother yourself all over her, start to think from her pov. Did she mention about the 20k and LV bag out of a sudden or you somehow 'directed' her towards the situation? Men experiencing gfe have the tendency to 'flaunt' their masculinity and assets like how male peacocks wave those huge tails. Simply put, did you have her assume that you can afford the lavish life for her?

Though, I'm not saying that she is materialistic. As that is the natural course. If you don't want her to work in the night club, then provide alternative options for her. Give her the trust you can give. Especially when you say she's a milf, so much more to a chinese the age is a taboo. To her, it's not a hop onto the bandwagon then run off when you're done with it.

Perhaps you should think like a woman first. Take out your income statement, do your math. If you can afford her debts/mortgages/lawyer fees, then look at the monthly revenues that can get her an apartment. Do you have remaining for unexpected spendings? Many of these PRC women who after divorce from hk men have this mentality that they can only rely on themselves. Men are assholes. Will the apartment be in whose name? Calculate your estimated cost expenditure for a one year plan, 5 year plan.

Don't just dive into a hot soup before you check. If after all the tedious calculations and you can manage it, do you still have that smile on your face?

That's companionship for you. Also, can you squeeze enough for punts in future or you're happy with onegina?

big fallacy

Women go after two things:
  a provider to protect and feed her, and
  a stud to inseminate her

Often the two are NOT the same guy.  

The OP needs to be careful to stay in the second category, and avoid getting sucked into the first.  The rules of the game are COMPLETELY different in each case, as is the payoff ...   And (unfortunately for logical rational men) most of the game is carried out with nonverbal signalling.  Being a confident asshole, or as women phrase it "looking like he gets what he wants" is part and parcel of showing up as a desirable sex partner.

I still think it's your libido leading you to feel that way.  As of now, she's your object of desire.  You're slowly given a taste of what you could have, and it is building up the excitement and your lust for her.

Just think what would be the scenario after you've done her several times and sex became routine, you'll more likely hunt for another 'prey'.  Don't you think so?

Hear hear!  I agree with all sentiments from fellow bro's thus far, particularly this one though.
Some guys get off on helping the less fortunate.  By and large however, such guys weren't
raised to solicit prostitutes, so I suspect you're not among them.

It's pretty simple if you ask me.  Fuck her thirty times.  Then see if you want to stop punting.
We've all fallen for a PRC lovely at some point, some deeper than others.
If mainland Chinese girls weren't so uniformly poor, they'd be giving us
as much attention as the HK local girls (i.e., NONE!).