barney.winkel
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Post at 3-8-2010 22:26  Profile P.M. 
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anyone care to share some stories...

share some stories about guys getting totally screwed over by chicks. purely out of curiosity. could it be that some of us only choose to punt cause we've lost faith in women?
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littledicky
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Post at 3-8-2010 23:30  Profile P.M. 
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err...Like the time when i paid for a 1 hour session and only got 50mins?
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twiceAweek
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Post at 3-8-2010 23:33  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 barney.winkel's post

OK ... I know you have something you really want to tell us ... go for it !
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hkjiggy
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Post at 3-8-2010 23:51  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 barney.winkel's post

interesting question...yeah my ex decided to tell my parents about my smoking, backy and wacky backy, general partaking in the illegal highs, flirting with chicks etc. So much so that they wanted me in rehab...

Not quite lost faith but more identifying the less crazy ones. Most are insecure, irrational, dramatic, untrusting beings from another planet!

Wow maybe i have lost faith, not in women, punting is goood, butin relationships
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barney.winkel
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Post at 4-8-2010 00:12  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #2 littledicky's post

who said it was supposed to be a 1 hour session? anyway, u only got shorted 10 mins. live with it
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hunter (Real Slim Slapper-Status: 九叔 .)
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Post at 4-8-2010 00:22  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 barney.winkel's post

So who screw you up?? civi gal or WG?

Never lost faith in them. Life would be meaningless without pussy and love.




Retired from pussy arena….Uncle 9

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barney.winkel
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Post at 4-8-2010 00:31  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #3 twiceAweek's post

very intuitive twice! well the reason I ask this question is because I don't think I've seen any threads so far in which bros share their stories of why they started punting in the first place. since I started this thread, I'll go out on a limb and start first.

I first started punting after breaking up with my GF of 3 years. it was a mutual breakup, and I didn't harbor any resentment towards her. even now, we're still really good friends. however, I initially did it to get over her, since I didn't feel like I was ready to go out and start relationships with other women. now, we've all been young and naive before. I've been in relationships where I gave everything to the girl, only to get treated like shit in the end. to this day, I do realize that there are good women out there. but I'd say that generally, I'm much less trustworthy of women than I was, say, 10 years ago. sometimes i just get horny and want sex, but I don't wanna deal with the potential bullshit that comes with hooking up with a civi gal. sometimes they get too clingy when all u were looking for was just to get your rocks off. sometimes u genuinely feel something for someone but end up getting treated like shit. 5 years ago, I started seeing punting as the perfect solution. a temporary fix for your horniness, with no strings attached. no bullshit.

I know many bros here have their own reasons. some are married, some have SO's. I'm not here to judge. but we all have our own reasons and I guess I'm just curious to know some of the reasons that bros have for punting. they may seem obvious, but u never know.
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Dreamer08
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Post at 4-8-2010 07:35  Profile P.M. 
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i love questions like these so heres my story i can actually say im not just punting for the fun or want of it. i have an actual goal to find a nice girl to have a relationship with. i dont give a shit if shes a hg or anything, i jus want a girl to love me and just work things out. i dont know why but im attracted to chinese girls more :3 and she has to be pretty!¬ so yeah im kinda like hunting for my special one out there and i feel punting actually might help my search. i kno ppl can say lots of bad things abut wgs but you never know in this world. everyone is different and shit happens. i dont know why im not attracted to any girls in the uk tho. even if they r chinese so it kinda sucks being in the uk.
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barney.winkel
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Post at 4-8-2010 08:26  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #8 Dreamer08's post

well good luck to you. but you've really gotta watch out. a lotta these mainland girls are maneaters. there's a reason why stereotypes exist, and this is no exception. that's not to say that all mainland girls are fucked up, just like how not all black people love fried chicken. some of these girls might just be gold diggers, some are just emotionally/psychologically fucked up. even if they are genuine towards you and truly love you, sometimes there's just too big of a disconnect on a cultural/intellectual level that eventually just tears everything apart. remember that after all, they are WGs, and to have chosen this profession, in most cases there is something inherently wrong with their lives that led them to make this decision in the first place. do be careful.
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Dreamer08
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Post at 4-8-2010 09:18  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #9 barney.winkel's post

i doubt i would find someone through punting tho :3 im barely in hk as it is. but yeah if i do find someone i will try be careful. probs end up being screwed over but its life
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ollie1955
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Post at 4-8-2010 09:42  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #8 Dreamer08's post

Maybe you will get plenty of experience about how you treat girls, what they might like etc in bed but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for Ms Right to come out of the WG exploits.  But, good luck never the less.
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Batzmaru007
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Post at 4-8-2010 11:02  Profile P.M. 
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I started punting because time = $.  Sure I can be in a relationship, have a gf yada yada yada.  But after a 5 year relationship down the drain, I was too exhausted and didn't want to put up with the whole dating scene.  Meet up for drinks, dinner, talk, yada yada yada.  I will probably enjoy the companionship but what about the times when I'm just horny and looking to get off?  Don't feel like wasting several hundred US and an entire night just to get a good bye kiss or if it does lead to sex, everything else that follows.  

I know I sound shallow right now, but with 2 long term relationships that took up 1/3 of my life, I'm focusing on what's important to me.  Family, friends and pursuit of my own happiness.  I'll settle down eventually... maybe, but punting satisfy the urge when I don't feel like tooting my own horn.  It provides more of a "No strings attached" arrangement.  Even if you have a Friend with benefits, often times if you both agree not to get attached, it's only human nature to get jealous.  With a WG, if you do happen to get jealous or attached, it's your own damn fault.
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barney.winkel
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Post at 4-8-2010 13:15  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #6 hunter's post

Civi gf of mine (would never properly date a WG - can't even begin to imagine the problems that would come from a relationship with a WG). We broke up last month after a really short period of 4 months together. I wouldn't say it screwed me up, and I haven't lost faith in women because of this one bad relationship. But this girl was quite a piece of work and it just kinda put things into perspective for me. I mean I hadn't been with a girl who was as much trouble as she was for a long time, so I guess it just kinda set something off. Also made me wonder if there were any bros out there who actually started punting cos they got screwed over by a chick.

Was also just curious to see what kinds of reasons bros here might have for punting, other than the obvious.
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YouthAgainst
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Post at 4-8-2010 19:36  Profile P.M. 
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I have a good reason for punting, one of the reasons is because of a girl but not the main reason - i wont tell you bro's im afraid and it will mean more of my 'anonymity' will be lost and it may be a lot easier to guess my identity. Call me paraoid if you want..

One of the reasons is that it is just so easy in HK, with not nearly as much of a taboo as other societies.
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barney.winkel
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Post at 4-8-2010 23:16  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #12 Batzmaru007's post

I know exactly what you mean. I think the circumstances we're in are different, but I can relate to some of the reasons you gave. for me it's not so much the fear of not reaping enough benefits from dating, but instead I just wanna take a break from dating altogether. I'm no longer gonna commit myself to someone I'm not entirely sure about. I meet too many superficial bimbos out and about in HK and I don't want anything to do with them. I don't want some bimbo who only cares about which restaurant in Soho we're having dinner at and getting front row seats to Lady Gaga, when there are girls from China who come to HK and agree to fuck some random dude for 300-400 bucks. that shit just disgusts me now, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), I belong in that kind of social circle where I meet dumb bitches like those I described. better to just take a break from it all and hopefully I'll eventually meet the right girl. for now, there's always punting to keep me satisfied and my libido in check.
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barney.winkel
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Post at 4-8-2010 23:17  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #14 YouthAgainst's post

wow you must be someone famous then

we'd all be able to figure out who you are just from you telling us your main reason for punting?
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DArtagnan (unofficial Mayor of the Forum)
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Post at 5-8-2010 10:16  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 barney.winkel's post

I have to say I really feel the words "screwed over" and "lost faith" are going too far in my case, but maybe you'll disagree with me.  

Here's the story I'm using to stay sane at the moment ...

What brought me to marry was finding someone who was highly compatible - the first time I'd felt sexually satisfied (for longer than an hour), and the first time I felt I could relax and be myself.  The rest - companionship, a shared life, the joy of commitment, the "L" word - was a plus, but not of itself enough to clinch the deal.  

Fast-forward some years, and the sex stops.  Nothing unusual about that of course, happens to lots of people.  In most cases a temporary drought is short-lived, and things return to normal after a few months or a couple of years.  Trouble is the lady demands a monogamous relationship - and any time that commitment is tested by an unguarded glance or smile, I get faced with rip-raging fits of jealousy.  So that means not just one but both counts of our marriage are violated: sex is much less than I need, and (worse) I'm constantly having to watch myself, watch what I say, avoiding landmines.  A few months becomes years, becomes many years.  

Now there is clearly no intent on her part to do harm, quite the contrary.  But trying to talk about the issue goes nowhere, to the level of her completely and flatly denying that anything has changed.  

Do I "need" sex?  Well, this is hardly the forum to have a philosophical debate about mens' needs.  Suffice it to say I've tried to live (literally) without sex, and the consequence is always an accellerating spiral of
   hunger -> repressing my natural responses -> stress -> lack of self-care -> loss of sleep -> loss of health -> inability to work -> ...

I'm sure other bros here can describe feelings of starting to wonder if I'm attractive any more, even wondering if I'm even a man in the first place.  I'm sure other bros can describe questioning whether I am wrong to be the way I am, to want what I want.  

Talking about it didn't fix the problem.  We don't even get to discuss what might be "reasonable" - we can't even agree on the facts.  

Cut a long story short, having tried the alternatives, I found this site and read up about the logistics for some months before visiting my first professional.  

My health has greatly improved.  I can sleep better, I eat better, I excercise, I look after myself.  And yes, I once again know I'm a man in my prime, able to attract women with or without resorting to money.  Able to get the things I need, and give others the things they need.  

At home I'm much less grumpy, have fewer arguments, and can concentrate on making a difference where it's most needed.  

Was I screwed over?  
Yes, of course.  But I have no bitterness about it, since it is driven by unconscious neglect not by ill-intention.  You can't blame a nail for bursting a tyre - it has no consciousness.  You can't blame a person who lacks consciousness, and denies the facts from a position of inadequacy without an intention to deceive and manipulate.  

Have I lost trust?  
Absolutely, but not in a sense of giving up hope.  Rather my sense of trust is now more situational, more deliberate: I now trust women to be the way they are and to do what they do, and I see no need to trust them more than they deserve to be trusted based on her current level of maturity and sensitivity.

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conqueror77   8-8-2010 09:38  Acceptance  +3   U r the only philosopher I can understan
DaBestHK   5-8-2010 12:45  Acceptance  +5   very pragmatic
twiceAweek   5-8-2010 11:48  Karma  +5   Very well written-many feels same way
geoduck   5-8-2010 10:44  Acceptance  +2   Thanks for sharing your thoughts....




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geoduck
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Post at 5-8-2010 10:48  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #17 DArtagnan's post

Very insightful comments and I've gone through the same thing, not once but twice. Once you've been there and started seeing WGs it's hard to go back. Life is short and you have to make the best of it.
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Batzmaru007
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Post at 5-8-2010 10:56  Profile P.M. 
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by barney.winkel at 4-8-2010 23:16
I know exactly what you mean. I think the circumstances we're in are different, but I can relate to some of the reasons you gave. for me it's not so much the fear of not reaping enough benefits from dating, but instead I just wanna take a break from dating altogether. I'm no longer gonna commit myself to someone I'm not entirely sure about. I meet too many superficial bimbos out and about in HK and I don't want anything to do with them. I don't want some bimbo who only cares about which restaurant in Soho we're having dinner at and getting front row seats to Lady Gaga, when there are girls from China who come to HK and agree to fuck some random dude for 300-400 bucks. that shit just disgusts me now, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), I belong in that kind of social circle where I meet dumb bitches like those I described. better to just take a break from it all and hopefully I'll eventually meet the right girl. for now, there's always punting to keep me satisfied and my libido in check.

Yeah, sorry if I phrased it wrong.  It's not really trying to reap any benefits from dating, it's more that I'm tired of everything that goes along with dating.  Especially if you are single and your friends are putting you up to multiple dates.  For some reason people in relationships feel the need to get their single friends hooked up as well and just don't believe me when I say that I'm happy and content ... for now.

I might not have come across all the superficial girls in HK, but I can relate.  The city that I'm from has a decent size asian community but not as large as say Vancouver or NYC.  This medium size community basically makes everything into a pissing contest.  Girls here aren't happy with you picking them up in your car, they want to be picked up in the top of the line Benz.  Hungry?  No such thing as take-away food, they expect you to cut in line in front of all reservations and get them into their favorite restaurants.  And speaking of Lady Gaga, she just had a concert here not too long ago, and since some girls know that I have some clients who can get VIP seats, they hit me up and try to set up a date on the same day as the concert.  

Like I said, for now I am happy with the single/non-dating life.  Planning my next trip back to HK which will be end of October.  Who knows, maybe i'll be lucky and find my right girl on this trip.  
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DArtagnan (unofficial Mayor of the Forum)
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Post at 5-8-2010 11:29  Profile P.M. 
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by geoduck at 5-8-2010 10:48
Very insightful comments and I've gone through the same thing, not once but twice. Once you've been there and started seeing WGs it's hard to go back. Life is short and you have to make the best of it ...

Sounds like you've got a pattern going there bro, gotta watch that one!!  

Life is short and it's up to us if we allow others to screw it up or take responsibility to do what we need to do.  

No point doing harm to anyone else.
But also no benefit in doing harm to yourself.  

I guess my point is there's a TON of difference between "losing faith in women" and figuring out what it is you need to do in your life for everyone to co-exist harmoniously.




Hear Ye!  The Mayor has spoken!
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