Fly United, they really suck, and who doesn't like a good suck?
1. The have the biggest, fattest stewardesses with the baddest attitudes and you know that sucks.
2. The meals are like sloppy seconds, and nothing sucks harder than sloppy seconds.
3. The aircraft interiors are old and wornout just like MK8 and where can you get more of a suck than MK8?
4. There's practically no entertainment except what you bring yourself (O.K., so you can't suck yourself off but there's nothing wrong with a self-administered HJ every now and then).
5. Every single seat will be full, and what's more fun than an orgy that sucks?
6. The ticket price is one of the most expensive, and in the land of suck you get what you pay for!
Definitely United, all the way!