Doctor - Patient records from a mental hospital

Record I

Doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ear off, what will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm.. that's normal...So if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will drop down..."

Record II
There was an old lady who wears black everyday, carries a black umbrella and squats at the hospital entrance everyday without fail, rain or shine.
The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her and decided to start by understanding her behaviour.
So, the doctor also wear black and carries a black umbrella; squatted outside together just next to her, rain or shine, everyday without fail.
So...days goes by...the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single exchange of words..for one solid month...
One fine day..the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"

Record III
A nurse saw a patient writing a letter.. She got curious and went to take a peek.. But the patient didn't wanna let her see.
Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity) asks: "Who are you writing to?"
Patient : "I'm writing a letter to myself..."
Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a letter to himself?)
So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?"
Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't received the letter, how would I know??"