I was wondering about the sex lives of the older, married mongerers among us that are still living with their spouses or SOs.  I imagine that these spouses, particularly those that have given birth, would not have the tightest of love canals nor firmest of bodies.  And then we have these tight, young love canals on fine, trim bodies that we sample.  How does that affect your sex lives and your relationships?  Do you find yourselves having a more difficult time with desire, arousal or finishing, how do you deal with it or do you still have that spark?  I happen to be older (close to 50) so I am not picking on the senior folks here.

wow, getting very personal here!

If you really need to know yes still have spark and passion .... she is my best friend too!

i like to know ... what happens if any of your wives one day tell you they have cheated on you for as long as you have cheated on them... will you forgive  
your wife ? what if her boy toy is younger then you by alot hehe

Sorry didn't mean to get personal.  I was more interested if anyone noticed less interest or less "performance" for the missus after starting punting and what people did to dissipate any potential issues.

No need to apologise, it's a fair enough question. It could be real issue for some.

However talking about this level of relationship with wife is personal ...... so many Bros may not feel comfortable going into much detail here.

The main issues I encounter are covering tracks and finding excuses to go solo to HK/Macau. Oh, and the occasional infatuation.

For me, although looks are important, it's never been as important to me as personality and general level of horniness.  OK I'm not talking pork chop - just the scale that goes from plain-jane to catwalk goddess - as long as she's reasonably shapely anything goes.  So if the looks and the body are good enough, it's enough for me - always been that way, and banging cute hot young chicks hasn't changed my view in any way.  

sounds like it might be an issue you're facing though ...

This is an issue for me.  Certainly has a negative affect on the sex.  But I am able to maintain a very good relationship.  How do you mitigate this.  I've tried to kick the hobby, but it's worse than addiction to drugs.

My SO is my best girl and always will be.
Yeah its great fun with the young chicks but lets get real,its all based on fantasy and money with them.
I need someone to grow old with and take care of each other.
I doubt that a gal 30 years younger really wants that with me.
Plus if I had one that young all the time I would be worn out everyday from fucking that tight little cunt 3 times a day.

It's a legitimate question, that probably a lot of us would prefer not to think about. There's only so much horniness to go around, and if you're saving it for hot young WGs, there's that much less for the wife. I had a friend once tell me that he no longer jerked off, because if he did, he was less tempted to service the wife - and less face it, as time passes, sex with the wife, or long-term GF, loses a lot of its excitement - how many of us get a hard on at work fantasizing about the nasty things we're going to do to our "best friend" when we get home?

We can tell ourselves that the SO is our best bud, but the major complaint of most married women is that they're not getting enough. Women see sex as more than just the satisfaction of sexual craving, they see it as an affirmation of commitment and intimacy, a sign that they're valued and desired.

This is all very easy for me to say since I'm not married, but it's an issue that I've faced many times in the past with GFs - in fact, it's the reason why I ended most of those relationships and moved on to something new.

You can tell yourself that it's in man's nature to cheat, but that's not to say there aren't consequences.

Y'all remember that now as you go about your evil ways.

(One of my favorite Japanese phrases is 'giri manko' meaning roughly 'obligatory pussy' or 'pussy duty'; it's what they call that bare minimum, once a mth fuck the wife gets to stop her complaining. )

I pretty much completely lost interest in sex with my wife once I started seeing WGs extensively.  Marsupial's 'giri manko' sums it up precisely!  It was that way for a decade.  And then she found out that I had been with a WG and threw me out of the house for good when I was 52.

For me, it was not the young, tight pussies that was the source of my iultimate lack of interest.  I found the WGs (in the US, where I was at the time) to be open and accepting...  to simply enjoy a good bonk for the sheer joy of f*cking.   The nice thing about an hour appointment is that it's an opportunity for both parties to cut loose in a way that's not always possible in the real world.  After all, a WG never worries whether you will still like her in the morning...  

By contrast, my wife liked intimacy, but never really liked sex.  She had no sense of adventure, no interest whatsoever in exploring.  The one time she gave me a BBBJ was when she was pregnant the first time and couldn't have sex.  We were in the middle of our last romantic vacation pre-kids, or I'm sure she would have just told me to stuff it.  Naturally I popped...  She reacted in horror and did not get her face away in time.  Some of my cum got on her hair.  She called me "filthy and disgusting" and did not otherwise speak to me for three days.  

At one point, I tried to interest her in DATY (which I truly enjoy).  She made me schedule a visit with my doctor to ask him if it was "safe."  He and I had a good laugh about that!  After 18 months of DATY without any positive feedback from her, I gave up.  She never mentioned it again.  And I knew that there was not one chance in a million that she would ever reciprocate.  At one point I stopped seeing WGs for about three months in an effort to save my marriage.  But the thought of never having another BBBJ for the rest of my life was too much to bear...

In retrospect, I cannot imagine why I stayed married so long...

Have fun, CGP

Folks, great feedback!.  The motivation for my question came from my own experiences and that of a married punter that I have lunch with every week.  He is also my age and we were discussing how he should spread out his falling "energy reserves" so that his wife does not somehow start suspecting and we went into musing about physical relationships and then as some of you did, we went into how he continued to relate to his wife.

To Bearcat, I know what you mean.  I sort of was/am seeing someone like that and I can tell you it is no mean feat to keep feeding her tight pussy 3, 4 times a day, particularly now that I have shown her more joys of sex than she had ever imagined.

Does fantasy work for you?

Find a position that works for you (e.g. doggie), close your eyes, and remember the hottest little fanny you last entered.  

She does need the physical attention just as much as you do, even if her expectations of quantity and quality are out of sync with your own, and even if she's choosing to make herself unattractive with her behaviour and clothing.  

At the risk of going out of bounds or sounding preachy, if you haven't tried counselling, it's a possibility.  NOT to talk about your infidelities - keep that firmly to yourself, you will probably need and want to continue whatever the outcome.  But it could be worth talking about expectations of intimacy.  Sex has a lot more to it than just looks and libido.  You never know, it might be enough of a wake-up call for her to start working out or dieting for real.  She has her own responsibility to carry, for attracting you - which is something you can't tell her, but someone she trusts can.  

Who knows, maybe you can have fun at home AND on the range?

Interesting reading, seems like Bros with the bad, or so-so marriages are quite forthcoming. I can understand why some Bros move on in such situations..

To give another perspective I find it doesn't affect me that much, often seeing a WG during the day can make me hornier that night with my wife. I do have a strong sex drive, probably borderline sex addiction.   For me playing with WGs removes a layer of tension and restlessness that would otherwise be a negative factor in my marriage ... sort of like therapy.

I am however very attracted to my wife and the sex can be adventurous and doesn't have many boundaries (within a one-to-one relationship). No one can expect fireworks every night, but it still happens. She has quite a reasonable sex drive, and wants to please me, with the caveat of wanting "connection", which I'm quite happy to give most of the time.

If I played regularly at night, going home late, I can see I would encounter problems, probably more from suspicion than anything else. I am primarily a "day" player unless I am travelling.

Be careful to avoid making the mistake in logic of "post factum ipsos propter factum" - just because loss of interest grows after you start punting, it doesn't mean loss of interest in your SO is BECAUSE of the punting.  

I consider it MUCH more likely to be the other way around: loss of chemistry at home leading to taking opportunities that present themselves.  The reality is if your SO is consistently doing any of these you're going to look for what you need elsewhere:
  tired,
  nagging,
  frumpy,
  overeating,
  underexcercising,
  complaining,
  using you as emotional landfill,
  etc.
(tick the ones that apply)

I'm ready to bet those behaviours were strikingly absent during your courting and honeymoon ... ?  She should know better, but she doesn't.  

What I know about myself is that my libido has much more to do with whether I'm feeling stressed or under attack, than it has with how long ago I last jacked off.  I can cum 4 times in a day.  And I can also be impotent even after a period of abstinence.  Clearly, frequency of sex is not the driver.  I can do it, I just need someone who makes me feel right .  

So IMHO it's more effective to handle the two questions as separate: how do you care for your SO on the one hand?  How do you care for yourself (physically, emotionally, sexually) on the other hand?  You have to do both.  Just a matter of figuring out what works for you.  

Oh, and some gentle advice, be careful to spend time listening to someone who's also struggling.  Like your friend (I can say that since I don't know him and don't know if this applies).  Their despondency can become infectious, and they may be dragging you down.  Much better to try to find someone who had the same issue and SOLVED it ... the Alcoholics Anonymous lets-get-together-and-share-experience can work, but only if everyone in the group is committed to success.  Blaming sessions don't work, you need a supporter who believes in you.

Amen.

And yes, you have to manage that lackanookie grumpiness that creeps in - a little is good but too much is harmful.

Although I am half European and getting old, my chinese wife still looks very young (glad she is based in BJ)... Mongering is more of a sport to me! She is my partner, my friend and my love. WGs are just for fun...

[ Last edited by  mauvanilla at 15-6-2009 18:51 ]

WOW, such an interesting topic, I can relate to sooooo much that has been written.

My SO is great, sometimes our sex life is incredible. Other times it is like shagging a dead potato sack, with about as much feeling (not that I have shagged a potato sack).

Young horney WG are just that, sexy, adventurous (most of the time), loving (at a price), do not nag (most of the time) and are available. They do not say 'no' because they have had an argument with you, or if you forgot to take the rubbish bin out.

In my younger years, I used to look at prostitutes and think "Oh my god, dirty sluts, who could fuck them?", now, a few years later I realise that they are providing a service (for money) and have a great deal of respect for them.

You really do have to think about that one ... do you think what you're doing is OK, both coming and going?  

Me, I'd crack a bottle of bubbly and schedule a 4-some especially if it was "any of my wives"

[ Last edited by  DArtagnan at 16-6-2009 09:21 ]

do your wives know you monger? do u believe in an open relationship? what if she wants to monger together w/ u?

lgirl:

now if i say yes and we want you, would you be up for it?...