Hey folks, wanted to ask for advice regarding how to explain away disappearing for a day or two overnight when traveling to Asia? I'm sure some of you have gone on business or family trips where you wanted to take a day or at least a night off to explore the local sights.

Some excuses I've used in the past:

Daytime:
- I'm going shopping at the local malls or something specific and hard to find - good for a few hours or during shop opening hours.
- Watch one or more movies (can't do this too often since there are only so many movies to watch)

Daytime / Evening:
- Meeting a friend or business associate
- Business meeting w/ lunch/dinner afterwards

It's overnight or a few days that are hard. And I often have relatives in the area that want me to stay with them, so booking a hotel looks suspicious.

Probably more of a long con, but can you start a side business relevant to the areas you'd like to monger in?

Random example, if I wanted to explore Guangzhou more, I would say I'm starting a clothing or cosmetics business and need a few days to meet with clients.

If relatives ask you to stay with them, you can cite early morning departures / late night arrivals back home as a reason to get your own hotel -- you'd hate to disturb their quality of life. If they persist, you can also stress wanting to have a professional atmosphere to receive clients or the fact that such a hotel stay would be considered a business expense. You can also say you got the hotel for free with credit card points.

You don't even necessarily need to start these businesses -- you can just be researching and wanting to meet with the relevant vendors.

If you're American, you can say you're trying to think of a drop shipping business and have a few leads in China or Hong Kong that you'd like to associate with.

Say you want to go to to obscure destination or site that no one else has interest in going. For longer arrive earlier or stay longer saying something about your flight. Like on upcoming trip I have to SEA I'm meeting some friends up. But I'm headed to Singapore few days before the rest. Told them I found a good deal on flight and had points for hotel to burn.

Short term can make up excuse to do something no one else can or want to do. Like in Thailand I had a teeth cleaning and filing replaced that I scheduled. Was gone from group for few hours and just met up later as told them wasn't sure how long I'd be there for.

A few things that always work for me.

- Meeting an old colleague (who is always old and boring )
- Shopping for that rare item in town which is in a shady place
- Getting out in the hot sun / no direct modes of transport etc

I’ve used “catching up with an old colleague” for an overnight—say you’re crashing at their place after dinner. Or mention a local festival or market you’re “checking out.”

Research business networking events on MeetUp. They’re always happening and usually focus on a specific subject matter, area of interest or niche that might be boring to others. Also check out conferences and chamber of commerce events. All great ways to disappear for a few hours or even overnight.

This thread is mind blowing. Some suggestions of the lengths you guys have to go through are just extraordinary lol

Meeting old friends is always a good excuse for family - maybe they stay in a different town/city which will let you split away for a night or two.
Going to watch specific events is another great excuse - sport matches or performances that other people in your party have no interest in.

In Thailand, I'd say I need to watch an important football match at the bar.  No way my girlfriend will spend 2 hours watching with me.

If in previous trips with them you have packed the schedule, they might appreciate more unstructured time so they can rest.
If there's a huge timezone difference, take advantage of jetleg. Pack the previous day with a lot of activities / walking / etc. They will want to rest for the afternoon or evening.

Also, figure out if there's something THEY would really like to do, and you would not. That gives you a good excuse to bow out gracefully (especially if it's on the pricier side or harder to go with bigger groups).

[ Last edited by  socialcrux at 27-4-2025 04:19 ]

Luckily my wife is super laid back and never pries that much.

I keep a fairly active lifestyle, so I often use those activities as an excuse.  For example, I'm into indoor rock climbing, and usually go 3x a week for around 2 hours each time, but some days I'll just go see a girl or massage shop for a 90 minute session instead.  

I often have little projects where I'm trying to walk 10k steps daily for a month (which takes almost 2 hrs), but I might use that as an excuse to duck out for a shorter session instead of getting all 10k steps in that day.

Or I'll just wait until my wife leaves the apartment.  She has 2 groups of friends that she sees weekly, and she loves to chat, so she's often gone 3+ hours.  So I might wait until she leaves, then head out 10 minutes after, and I'm pretty much always back before she gets home.  Even if she got home first it's easy to say "I headed out to get my last few k steps in".

I've never had a close call or any conversation beyond "did you have fun?" and I reply "yes, I was trying x today".  It's possible maybe even probably that my wife suspects I'm doing something, but maybe subscribes to the theory "out of sight, out of mind" as my extracurricular activities have never affected our sex life together or anything in the relationship.  Maybe she's even getting a bit of side action!  I've broached the subject of an open relationship, and she seems somewhat open to the idea, but hasn't gone for it just yet.

A really good one in Asia/SE Asia is that I say I’m entering into a pool tournament at the local bar and convince her that I’ll probably be back in an hour or so as I’ll likely lose in the first round. Then if you’re back late just say you got to the final unexpectedly

Not good at pool? Simple, you can just say it was a doubles event and your partner is a semi-pro and you randomly drew partners & you got lucky

A few years ago I was banging a girl after work, and that's pretty much the excuse I used for the wife, but sometimes she would call me during the session. So I had a bluetooth speaker with a separate device in which I recorded actual footage pool hall sounds (breaking the rack, people talking, balls being potted) and would play it in the background during the call.

During daytime/afternoon, another method that can work if you have a job is to say you are having meetings and can't take phone calls.

Not to come off as condescending, but how old are you that your family needs to know your every move? Granted, I have plenty of nosy family members, but when we travel together or I'm in their town, I don't really have to elaborate with more than "I'm gonna explore" or "I'm meeting with friends" unless it's somewhere with a sketchy reputation with tourists. That being said, if I dropped off the map for a full day or two with nothing but radio silence, I'd be interrogated upon return.

If work is not a good enough excuse for a day or two away, I'd schedule my travel a day or two before the date I give my family and show up at the airport before they're expected to arrive (gotta know the flight schedules, obviously). Unless your family hangs around the "red light districts", you should be able to avoid them till your "flight" arrives.

But again, unless you're in your early 20s or you're still living with/fully funded by family, I can't imagine why you'd need to create an elaborate lie to live your life as an adult. If they need receipts for your every move, I'd suggest travelling alone/anywhere else your family doesn't live, for mongering.

A lot of us have wives who are not controlling, but also not idiots.  They know how easy it is to get service in asia.  So, it makes sense to have a good excuse to go missing and tell them before you go.  Most of us do not live under lockdown.  We are just being prudent.

If you haven't told your wife or family what you are doing, and they randomly ask you afterward and you don't have an answer already prepared, it can be bad.  You may fumble an answer that you are trying to come up with on the spot, and generate more questions and probably suspicion assuming your wife and family arent morons.  Why go there when you can tell her up front about what you are supposedly doing and putting it to bed right there?

You asked how old OP is, but I would ask the same of you.  It is a very adult thing to make sure have your shit sorted and reduce risk, which is all this is about.  Not sure why you don't see this.

Not sure why you're bothered by my response, but I'll bite.

You're assuming he's talking about getting away from his wife, but given that there's no mention of a spouse (you'd think specificity would be key when looking for advice) and the many other threads on here he could've gone to for men needing advice on hiding this hobby from their wives, I figured he's on the younger end and is either always travelling with family or to places where he can stay with family. As someone who engaged in this hobby when I was younger, I can relate to the scenario and sneaking away, but maybe my family doesn't scrutinise my explanations as much as his might (or he's worrying more than he needs to).

Either way, I didn't spend my entire post being critical. I gave him a genuine excuse he could use and just told him to consider travelling without family to places they don't live. Now I admit I could very easily be wrong and he's a proper married adult and this was all a roundabout way of asking "help me get away with mongering when I'm travelling with the wife" and if that's the case, I'm sure he can figure out an excuse since he's clearly been pulling it off in the Philippines or California (depending on where he lives) given the amount of reviews he's got under his belt in both places.

I suppose we won't know until he decides to respond to any of what people have said on here. If he's worked up about what I said, then fair enough. Just don't understand why you are on his behalf.

[ Last edited by  SexPatBateman at 26-5-2025 16:35 ]

One thing that really bugs me in Thailand is the amount of WGs that use strong perfumes or glitter on their bodies. They KNOW that a lot of their potential customers are married, why wear stuff that could incriminate them?

Glitter is a pain to remove btw, won't come out with a shower. The best strategy for me is to get some adhesive tape and keep sticking/pulling in your affected areas.