I lifted my post in another thread to see if I can solicit constructive feedback to my situation.  I know, I would have told anyone it was absolutely inadvisable to start a relationship with a WG or ex-WG.  Being human and lustful human that I am, here I find myself --

I have been mongering somewhat regularly until some time last year I struck up a relationship with a mainland HG.  At first it was rendevous (paid but discounted) off the side, some regular socializing stuff and then after her stint was over, short trips in China together.  She reminded me a lot of my old college girl friend and pretty soon we were seeing each other regularly and of course, having sex regularly.  She returned for a second stint for money (what else?) and that was when her job got to me.  I got upset a few times and she decided to quit and went back to the mainland.  She told me she had developed feelings for me and wanted to be out of that profession for me.  She now rents (I pay her rent) and goes to adult school (I pay her school fees partly) and works in a clothing store part time for the rest of her living expenses.  I have a key to her place, see her regularly and I thoroughly enjoy our time together, particularly those frequent steamy sessions.  Question is where we go from here.  I have been very careful about my cash outlay.  Till now it has not exceeded what I would have paid in sessions otherwise and she had not asked for more, outside of the occasional dress and shoes, so I don't feel she is milking me currently (financially I mean).  I am in my late 40's, she in her early 20's (we get the stares in the street).  I am now relatively convinced of her feelings for me, through long term observations and comments from her friends (WGs and relatives as well).  I am a divorced expat Chinese and now my company is repatriating me back to the US -- which I had not told her yet.  Now I am at crossroads as to what to do next.  Should I take things further or call it quits?  Anyone had gone through this?  By taking it further I meant getting married and the whole bit.

Some additional details -- My mother is as traditional as Chinese moms get and I have kids that are going to college soon so the family acceptance factor is going to be dismal.  My GF is from poor rural China, knows very little English, has street smarts, a good heart but not much working knowledge of practical things like health insurance etc, in case I want to take her to the US and looking down the road for when I get old and need looking after.  Also, I also worry when I get old, I cannot get the bedroom job done and she is still in her prime...

Am I thinking too much?  Sorry brothers, for baring my innermost thoughts here.  Any constructive adivce appreciated.

You are in your late 40's. You are old enough to make a wise decision.
Or, will you take advice from someone who would call you uncle?

If you marry her and take her to USA, would anyone in your family investigate her background?
And, who is the boss in your family?
People say: Once a WG, always a WG. Hope she is an exception.

Even if she is not an exHG, I won't do it, having a meaningful relationship with someone so young and that 20 years age difference.  Later she might want kids, what would you do.  You don't want to be bother with kids twice, and when you are getting old and sick.  In the end, if she is willing, she might have to take up all the responsibilities for the kids.  Enjoy the good time, pay her off and leave.  It is better for both.  I know I sound very conservative.

that is so not true, ive dated a WG before.. and it turned out ok.. stayed with her for ages!! but eventually we were just not suited for each other.. anyways i say go for it.

the age gap is pretty big, but some things can be overcome, others can't.

Age is particular when it comes to children - she is young still, will probably want a child at some point (chinese family going to get upset if she doesn't produce something!).  So if she has a kid at 25, you are having it at, what, 50?  When he or she graduates high school, she is 43, the kid is 18, and you are... 68.

So you have to think practical.

That being said, if it is truly love, then enjoy it.

A big concern you should consider is, in the future, are you likely to get in an argument and use her past against her.  That would not be fair to her.  It seems that she is sincere, based on what you have said.   I am about to get married to a Chinese woman 18 years younger them me (shes 30 I will be 48).  but NO ONE can guess my age.  I look and act at least 10 years younger.  Honest.  So...age is relative.

It is possible to love a former wg.  And it is possible for a former wg to love you.  She is human.  She is deserving of love as much as anyone.

But....it takes a certain kind of person to become a wg.  Poverty is one thing, and I know it is almost expected in some Asian countries.  She may have been damaged emotionally when she was young.  could this come back to surface?  Has there been other signs that have come up in your relationship that give warning?

I agree, it is not something you can forget easily. This mental "scar" will always remain in your mind. Not now but may be later.

Hope you have a good story of your beginning with her for your relatives. They'll be curious as the age difference is so big.

gee. ..she had been WG,...will haunt you forever...

My advice; let her be...and go move on..

As the old saying goes "love holds no boundaries".

Good luck bro

IF u wanna be with her because she is young, good in bed, you are lonely and needed companion.....then again fcuk it......it is a simple NO.

If you LOVE her...then fuck it.....Just say YES.

fuck what the friends or family think about her. IT is your conscience that you need to overcome.....

I fancy WGs all the time, from regular to free FB.  I go holiday with them, visit them if they move to another place. I only LIKE em, there is no LOVE.......so I draw a line all the time.

It is kinda kewl to be with a gal half your age. envy...... I need to be at your age to do that in another 1 1/2 decade.

Man, do whatever you want, as long as u are happy. You only live once.........

You are in late 40s, she is in her 20s.   You have been 20 once, she has never been 40 at all.
You know what it is to be young, she does not what it is to be 40.

From the look of it, you AND her are entitled to a relationship to whatever degree it takes you to. She became a WG due to circumstances and that, she is willing to learn some vocational courses, make a difference to her life, is a testimony to her willingness to break out of the past.

She is lucky that she has found a man who is willing (and spending) on her schooling, rent et al.
You may as well take her to the US. But that is another country, another culture, another land of opportunity (many opportunities) and she may find the entire new enviroment too much to take at first.   Mind you, she is in her 20s.. and at this point of life, you are taking CARE of her.

Once she begins to learn things, starts working on every new opportunity that comes HER way (due to her hard work), you might FEEL sidelined and that is something that you will have to be very cautious about.   There could be a time sometime in the future - due to a heated verbal confrontation that you may forcibly remind her of her past to get your point (your ego, your self admiration, your pride  and your boasts) across.

I would encourage you to go ahead with this relationship. BUT BE , VERY VERY VERY careful about your emotions in  a difficult situation.  There are things said by a hubby to his wife (and a wife to her hubby ) in a heated fight. Verbal abuse is expected but in this relationship you need to be more than sensitive NOT to say anything to her that could make her feel inferior and indebted to you.

To end this post, I would also want you to ask yourself.. DO YOU WANT her to be eternally indebted to you?  Are you an egoistic person? Do you want her to remind herself and you that because of you, she has changed?   Will you allow her to climb up the social ladder if things work out for her?     And - what is it about this relationship that you want. Pure hot steamy sex (which you enjoy) or a combination of passion, lust and pure, undying, unconditional love with LOTS of compromises?

I sincerely wish you both the best. We are all humans . May God Bless you Both.  (To heck with what family / friends say about you if you settle with her).


p_diller

xiao38,

Perhaps, u might have thinking too much but like Hunter said, do whatever you want, as long as u are happy. You only live once.........don't let the overwhelming advice clouded ur judgement. We r all here to support u. So, speak ur mind freely as u wish. I am in my early 40's . Myself and some of my closes friends have similar dilemmas like yours. so, if you want to inbox me to talk more about it. I'm happy to read and answer any of ur questions.

"I am now relatively convinced of her feelings for me, through long term observations and comments from her friends (WGs and relatives as well)"

comments from her friends don't mean much...they are all cheering for her no doubt.  but if you are that confident that she is in it because of you then...you've basically got your answer.   But you have to admit that there is huge potential gain for her...money, passport, sponsoring her family etc.  needless to say the risk for you is just as big.  

not doubting the possibility just doubting the odds.  reflect on your thoughts above.  good luck bro...don't fuck up your retirement.

This is the same with WIFE  and alll the Gals.

Bros, let me start by saying I am overwhelmed by the supporting words I read here.  I really was half expecting some bashing and questioning of my sanity.  You show you are more than skin deep (ok pun intended) in dealing with other folks.

p_diller, I don't know how old you are but you really hit the key points.  I am the supporting type of person and I would have no trouble at all if she pulls up on the social and career ladder in the US but of course I expect to be part of the process and enjoy the outcome.  My worry is exactly as Markus, Canuckguy and Sonicpix mentioned, age gap, expectations for kids and my lingering worry about my late years.  These can precipitate into arguments that draw verbal battle and references to her background.  I am just not sure about how far to put my retirement at risk.  On the other hand, what she brings to me was so much joy and fun in companionship I felt everything was worth it.

To embellish on HeMan's point, reason I thought I was relatively convinced of her feelings was that in the one of my blow ups over her second stint as a HG, I got a few SMS strings going with a fellow WG and another of her cousin wherein they were giving me a really hard time of my giving her anguish and anxiety.  She quit her stint prematurely in the end.  Also, whether it is in bed or elsewhere, I think you can only fake affection and excitement so much without being detected.

Thanks everyone.  Please keep the thoughts coming, even to one that you might call uncle.

I can't help but chime in on this one. To be sure, I am happy for you and for your success as other bros do and congratulate you on your developing a true love relationship with her despite her being an exWG. As you are pondering the possibility of marrying her and taking her to the US, many bros have already warned you about the potential future confrontations between your two partly because of her profession in the past. Since you are worried about thinking too much or perhaps too little, I would also like to point to you the pitfalls of the American divorce system that may potentially wrack you havoc in the future in case your relationship goes sour (being a divorced man yourself, you probably already know it firsthand if not already having suffered from it). If you bring her to the States, you should know that she can easily become Americanized and find out sooner than later the overwhelming advantage a woman has over man in the US divorce system. What if she elects to utilize that advantage, how can you protect yourself from the tremendous loss both financially and emotionally?

If you want more food for thought or wish to foresee any traps that may lie in the future, I recommend a post on that issue I recently read on the WSG board (http://www.worldsexguide.com/for ... =28151&page=3). I am trying to paste it below if space permits. It is a bit long and the advice a little harsh, hope you can wade it through and find some enlightenment. The point of his thesis, I believe, is that don't get married. It is truly a bad deal for men. If you must, marry a foreign girl, marry her in her own country but don't bring her as a spouse to the States.

--------------QUOTE--------------
By whoremonger501

Romantics and the women that prey on them make for a dangerous combination. As Shakespeare says, "Know thyself". I can add, be thyself! Do not kid yourself with romantic dreams. There is no magic potion from marrying a foreign woman. Women are the same all over the world. Some are a bit harder than others, some are a bit softer. I've fucked so many I cant remember. I've been to every whoring destination on earth. I've looked for romance. Its 1 in 10,000, and its usually with an ugly girl, or an older gal who has to offer a good heart, its all she has! If you want romance, go for the fuglies, not the 20 year old prom queens. If you want the prom queens, you got to go where the fish are, and stay in your boat. Keep dangling the idea you will return to the states with her, but never do it. It sounds cold, but love is a battlefield, right? You have to accept and be realistic that you're attraction is an economic advantage (a great one for you I might add) and the minute you realize it and accept it for what it is, you will be much happier. And I might add, these women will love and respect you more. I know there will be situations different from what I describe, maybe if you are a 25 year old fit professional, a young chick will "love" you, for real. But chances are, you''ve got plenty of choices in the USA and dont have to be on WSG ha ha lol! Yes, its ironic, but not careing if they love you or not is the solution. If not, you will be thought of as a fool, and they will abuse your trust. Never never never bring them here! Why not?

Well, let me see, my current gf is a Russian mail order bride. Everyone we meet asks me that with a sly grin. I say "she came UPS, but I didnt pay the postage!" Within one month of getting her final green card, she left her husband, cleaned out his checking account and is applying for alimony. She wants to move in with me, fuck NO! He flew her here for $5000 bucks and he's broke. She laughs when I fuck her and says she wants to make a fuck movie together to send to him. She gave me his wedding ring to wear around my neck, that's how fucked up she is. She's selfish and could care less about anyone. She likes me because I fuck her good, grab her hair and spank her. She says I "fuck her rudely". If I'm in the middle of a crisis, it doesnt matter, when she wants something, she wants it NOW. She will interrupt me on the phone, and try to make me stop my call. I have to tell her to fuck off a lot, and she respects me. I've met a circle of mail order brides through her and the one thing they have in common is loser, dependent husbands who dont fuck them. In my opinion, its worse to have a foreign bride who doesnt respect you, than one that doestn love you. I believe a lot of you guys, like me, have been treaded upon so much, you have no self esteem. At least I didnt. 10 years of whoring have cured that. I can now get girls here, just like when I'm whoring. She wants me to marry her, and I say, "so I can get a shitty deal like you're fucking over your husband? " She says "you are too clever for me".

Dont fool yourself with ridiculous romantic dreams. You are dysfunctional and cannot get a very young goodlooking woman here, so you have to travel around the world to a poverty stricken country where a woman will trade her looks for your money and security. I believe I can speak with authority on this, because I've been to numerous MOB tours and seen you guys. Its not "maturity" the girls want, its security and money. When you accept this fact, you will do the right thing, because you will have the realistic attitude. If you live with rose colored glasses, you will have your butt fucked by the US divorce system, which is severely stacked against you. She will get free housing, free lawyer, free college classes, all for saying you hit her. She wont hesitate to accuse you. I've fucked 2 girls who admitted this to me, its REAL! You will be fighting to keep a wife beater rap off your record, and to keep your hard earned bucks from these cunts. Heed the wise man's warnings guys. Go to their country. Like the culture, rent a place and live there low-key. You'll have more gf's than you can handle. You're biggest problem will be juggling them all. I wish I was rich enough for two apartments! So I could stagger them, and leave my gals sleeping.

OK, so you like Vietnamese culture, move your ass over there! She'll treat you like a king! But if you bring her here, maybe 10% of you will have enough game to keep a foreign bride. After having a Russian girlfriend, I will NEVER marry a Russian woman. After several trips to Thailand and Thai girlfriends, I will NEVER marry a Thai woman. I had a Colombian girlfriend too ha ha! She spoke perfect english and was the interpreter at the marriage agency I used. She purposely messed up my appointments and made a pass at me. I said, "what if I married you down here and we lived here?" here response "NEVER!"

So do you understand? I'm not saying the loving romantic faithful woman is not there, but your chances of meeting her on a short trip, where you're only focused on looks is very slim to none. To find one like that, you have to live in the country, have a respectable position or business, and meet her through family contacts etc. If a girl knows english, knows how to use the internet, western union, she's a player. Its ok, if you accept it and know what you're dealing with going in. But if you are one of thes romantic dreamers, (and OMG, when I went to Colombia, you should have seen the timid little rabbits at the first social, scared of the girls) you should wake up quick, because you have to sign a 10 year promise of support for your K-1 wife. She will leave after 2 years, and you will pay for 8 more. And they will accuse you of hitting or pushing them, to get the temporary restraining order and temporary green card. I've personally dated and fucked two women who have done this. They laugh at you fools. So be warned. So you ask, like my dad did, why I stay with this cunt? Because I like the pussy. She is jealous and sees my pictures of trips to Bangkok and Angeles on the fridge, and when I tell her they are prostitutes, she was fascinated. She know's she cant get my money, and I can get fucked when I want, so she doesnt manipulate me like these women will walk all over you romantic dreamers. I hope you're not mad at me, or think I'm insulting you! I want to help you to the truth. There's a reason you cant get a girl here. Me too! We're older and the young ones dont want us here. So we go overseas. But dont think you can bring one back, you're dreaming. If you keep your guard up like you do with whores, your fiance or gf will love you. Just be happy you can at least go overseas. If you're finances are streched, DO NOT bring her here because you cant afford to go whoring enough. You will regret it. My girls husband is on a 20k pension, and she wants $500 bucks of his money, while she's living free with friends. I tell her she will bankrupt him, she is black-hearted and she says "that is his problem". Do you get it? Be careful guys!

Bro very good find from the WSG. I read it twice and implanted in my head now.......

whoremonger501 is a true player himslef and he mus have been screwed up by the gals.........
Can u help me give him 100 karma points for his soul touching post............thx........tell him love and peace from Slim Slapper from Sex141.

Wow, thanks!  That's an angle I have not focused on a lot, since my own divorce was actually rather civil.

My repatriation to the US is a bit of a surprise to me.  Up to now, I had envisioned staying here and taking my time, seeing where things go.  Now I have to really look at the worst case fears and weighing them and make a decision soon.

There are many more things to consider.
When you marry, you both marry into each other’s family, that’s the baggage.  It’s expected that you will support her family and her extended family.
If you two don't have kids, it's not fair to her.  If you have kids, it may also be not fair to the kids.  Do you plan to play any sports with your kids?  Some people would age very quickly between 60 and 70, and certainly after 70.  Don’t believe that medical science will change all that, you need to have had a healthy life style to start with to delay the ageing process from the very start.
Should you go ahead, just be prepared and planned for everything.  Good Luck.