I guess u will be moving on from this then? I guess for me well only time will tell lol

I think her friend is lying and jealous of joann to find a nice guy like yourself.  I bet joann really does love you as much as you love her.  IMHO take the chance, get rid of your SO and marry joann, don't let these fools here coerce you into unloving joann, don't let her lying friend break up you and your soulmate.  Go for it bro!

Like you said, you're a conquest to her. If you ever did broke up your marriage to be with her, then it's just going to boost her ego even further. But play as we know, have strings attached once it becomes a regular or long term interaction. Sure there's going to be affection from her side, but due to the hundreds or thousands of other punters she's had, one can be numb to the multiple affections they feel on the regular basis.

It's like saying, I love all of you but please don't let me choose who I love most. I'm sure she has feelings for you but to say 'I can't live without you' truthfully, it is probably beyond her. So why shouldn't she shower you with 'love' whenever she could?

But have you woken up from the fantasy or you would still willingly offer your affections to her regardless of the outcome? You could slaughter your desire for her by having a serious three party conversation. Talk about your feelings for her in front of the new husband. Wait for Joann's reaction and response.

Hey Bro,

No, this is my exit.  

You're right essentially, and her friend said same basic thing, "Yes, I think she loved you..., and Paul, and Seoko, and...". (Names made up to protect the innocent).  "Whoever acted first gets to marry her, but she won't stop  fooling with the rest, as you can see".

I loved your 3rd-party chat idea - man, that would be quite the lively, possibly homicidal, conversation!    It would be effective though - we know which side should would have to bulldoze.

You can put on a little act, be the drama queen, even lie that you will break up your marriage to be with her. Send those alluring/sensual messages twirling down her spine. Accidentally blurt out 'those other guys you know of', but not hinting who they explicitly are.

It will be heated but for someone like that, she always get to enjoy the privilege of not making the decision. She can easily say, 'it's not my fault, it's not my choice'. Make it her wake up call. But on one condition, you must have the bro feel like he's on your side. Let him feel sorry for you instead.

Let them trash when they get back. Since you mentioned she might not stop playing her games. So, rather spare the chap from a prolonged cuckold.

Hope you find a renewed life! Don't stop screwing, but stop messing with their heads.

No Bro, life is too short to bother with "revenge" - if that is what you are getting at.

I don't want her messing with my SO or my life, so I won't do the same.

Just walking away.  As hard as I am finding it to be!!  (Amazing how my brain is still focused on her).

Definitely that would be the best peaceful resolution, walking away.

But it just doesn't solve anything, does it? Just shelving away, eventually the time will come again when the little bro call the shots.

What exactly should I be trying to solve?

She's bad news - I'm walking away.  Solved.  I'll let the LB call the shots with some other hottie.  

The last thing I would want to do is start a feud with a WG who I've scorned by fucking up her new marriage.  How long before she decided to do the same to my relaitonship?

Payback?  Not interested.  I got laid for free by a gorgeous babe many-umpteen times.  My heart got sunk, yep, and the reality of her is far different than I was lead to believe.  But so what?  Gotta move on.

There is no "solving" this beyond getting my feet moving.

Every Bro who's done substantial punting gets sunk or at least gets close to being sunk at some point. What are you going to do??? Such a gorgeous sweet young thing... and she loves putting your cock in her mouth and swallowing your cum... who couldn't fall for that. Punt away Bro!

No doubt the truth, Tony.  Do it long enough and eventually you find that one chick that just gets under every defense.


I escaped relatively unscathed.  Others have been less lucky!

until the next time Bro, we are all vulnerable under the right circumstances, with the right girl. Pound for pound Asia has so much talent on offer, seriously, I dont know how Bros who live in HK handle it... I don't know if I could. I guess it's an adjustment one would need to make.

Ya, since moving here I have gone off the charts with punting.

But - guess what I did today?  Or I should say guess WHO I did today.  Essentially ignore my last few posts about walking away!  Simply wonderful make-up sex and a long chat about everything.  

I just couldn't keep away!  And now all the shit is on the table.

Thank god she has a husband now!  Our chances to see each other will be far, far fewer.

Pussy-whipped, anyone?  Lord she is a beauty.  

She no longer qualifies for me to post about, I suppose, as I never pay her anymore.  I remain surprised that she wants to still see me.   Still. She is careless, I know she will get caught, and that would be bad for everyone concerned.

[ Last edited by  wander at 25-2-2011 19:10 ]

Hearing you say this, I know you've not been through a hardcore sunken ship while attached to a SO, whether it be wg or non-wg.  The first time?  It's inevitable, we as men are fucking retards and are a hands on learning creature.  Make mistakes and learn from them.  I've come so close to tipping overboard many times but my last almost sunken ship put my over the top.  I was so close to getting caught, I was so close to losing my "reality" life, but I hung on, learned my lesson and am now a hardened monger, I guarantee you it will never happen again.  It's live and learn for us , like I said, no matter how smart, cunning or clever we are, PUSSY is our Kryptonite and no one is immune, NO ONE!

I am rambling now, no doubt because I am sunk to a great depth with a girl who eats men.

Here is the latest:  She’s married now, as of a few days.  I saw her Friday and we had an incredible “make-up” reunion and great sex.  I learned her new husband was flying out of town for the weekend and she said she was going to go out with her cousin Saturday nite.  By chance I got a get-out-of-jail ticket Saturday nite as well from my SO, so I txt’ed her around 11pm to see where she was:  in a WanChai bar.., come meet her she says.  I do…, my god she was dressed to kill!  Not slutty - just absolutely the most beautiful and fucking sexy thing that has ever walked.  Bloody hell!!  If her new husband would have seen her like that knowing she was heading to WanChai bars he would have lost his mind!

We meet and I buy some drinks for her and her cousin and soon we are embracing and gently dancing together – her arms drapped around me, her eyes staring at me like I am the only man in the world.  She tells me she is a “good girl now…,” she’s married.  She’s there for drinks and the band, and I am the only other man she’ll see apart from her SO.  Her eyes make you believe anything she wants you to believe.

But then I had to go, rather urgently (I wont bother explaining why, doesn’t matter) and she’s upset.  But I do leave and wonder how soon after did she find some other guy to drape herself across.  Some other punter who’s going “holy crap!  This is the one I’m taking out to fuck”.  What former WG goes to WanChai bars, without her SO, dressed as sexy as humanly possible, and is truly a “good girl now”?  (You can take the girl out of the bar, but….).  Thinking she fucked some other punter is driving me crazy!

I can’t help but feel very bad for her husband.  I have little doubt that he feels like I do:   infatuated with her;  so sure her words are not true, but wanting them to be true so badly he closes his eyes and finds a way to believe anyway.  I wonder if he went crazy last nite wondering what his wife was really doing?

I am still really fucked up over Joann.  I know of at least 3 men who have been chewed to shit by her...  Yet onward I march…    What is so different about her?  What is it about Joann that is impossible to walk away from?  To forgive and forget anything and everything once she looks at you?  I dont know.

[ Last edited by  wander at 27-2-2011 12:26 ]

I think you are addicted to her; as all men, we are all human, addicted to sex, that's what makes the world go around. We are born on this earth to look for sex, our sole purpose is to reproduce and pass our genes to as many women as possible. I as a man know what you are going thru, many of us wish we have your problems and the resources.

wander, I don't think you have time to worry about others (her husband), this shit may catch up to YOU soon...

On a related note, maybe we should setup an addict help group on the forum; MA (Mongers Anonymous) anybody?

You Bros make good points.

I am indeed a lucky Bro - the means to live a very dynamic lifestyle.  And I do live it to the fullest!

Guess my problem is, for the first time, there's this chick I NEED to see!  Doing stupid shit to be beside her, and that will lead to disaster sooner or later.

As crazy as I am about her I KNOW she is bad news for me.

Bros - I promise I will drop this topic soon.  It's been helpful to attempt to clear my head.

I met Joann again yesterday (her SO is still travelling).  We had a great passionate session again, but more importantly we chatted a lot more and I've figured some shit out.

Essentially we agreed that she is "like me".  Loves to party, loves sex, loves the thrill of flirting/courting in a bar.  She is doing nothing different than I am except one very key thing - she's not honest about it with the punters/flings she's with.  This leads to the problems.

I guess early, early on in my punting youth I lied to (felt embarrassed telling some chick I wanted that I was a cheating lying slut).  But such lies inevitably lead to many problems as the girls try toi become your SO.  Tears and drama.  I became totally honest henseforth about my slutty ways.  

She "isn't there" yet.  She still lies  to all (herself as well)  that she is a "good girl"  and if you believe it, fall for her, then start seeing the contradictory evidence the bullshit begins.  

So, now that we've agreed we are both sluts we can head waaaay back in time to when I was a punter and she was just my WG for the nite.  

I can now wrap my brain around it.  If I was into a totally "open" relationship (which is essentially what a long-term punter/WG relationship is, after all)  she would be the best possible partner for me.  Hot, gorgeous, sweet, and smart - but both parties play on the side regularly and this is known and understood by all.   I have lots of these long-term regulars that never moved beyond just a great, fun, relationship.  I just need to classify this one, with Joann, the same.  I essentially turned the hottest WG I know into my free Fuck-Buddy.  Cool, but - DON'T GET ANY MORE SERIOUS THEN LIGHT FUN!

Just puts it into a new perspective for me.

PS:  I know many of you Bro's already suggested this, but I was not mentally there.  I had that dreaded four-letter "L" word bouncing in my head that I had to exercise myself.  Today, I am feeling "myself" once again.  Thanks all for listening and sharing.

[ Last edited by  wander at 1-3-2011 08:39 ]

Months have gone by now since I've posted about Joann.

A few thoughts about it:  

-  We do still meet fairly regularily and it is always fantastic.  Getting on the other side of this drama has actually made us rather good friends, we talk about everything and our sex is more spectacular than ever.  My god, she is hot!  But I am no longer "insane" about her.  Whatever emotional bomb that went on in my mind as her marriage neared has calmed.  Dont get me wrong, I am still totally crazy about her.., but in a healthy way.  I aint losing sleep.  I guess what we're having is a regular "affair" given we both have SOs now (more on this later).

- I think I was ultimately wrong about her.., she is not the evil man-eater I feared during the depths of my sunkeness.  She was just a WG who made some bad decisions early in life, felt shame and lied as a result, and feared she'd be alone forever.  Who doesnt make mistakes, right?

- In all my many, many years with my SO I've never had a classic "affair".  Too dangerous, too stupid.  I played with WGs s, kept them at arms-length, and that's it.  It's stupid and I know it.  Even if I am perfect in my cover-ups what if she gets caught?  Her SO MUST be suspicious as hell given her past (they met in a WanChai bar while she was working, so he knows).  He could be tying to track me down as I write this sentance.  So, I agree it is stupid as hell..., but holy shit it is sweet as heaven at the same time!

Where will this go?  I dont know.  I imagine we'll slowly drift apart.  Her relationship makes it difficult for us to meet except for a quick nooner.   It is less than she wants.  It is less than I want.  Our meetings will be fewer and fewer over time, most likely.

PS:  I don't recommend falling for a WG.  No matter what the situation your knowledge of each other's past adds a deep layer of uncertainty and mis-trust.  She said as much to me as our chats got more and more honest.  She says she would leave her SO for me if I asked for her hand - but that she would always wonder if I was being loyal. I am an active punter after all.  Fair enough.   It is no wonder so many end in disaster.

[ Last edited by  wander at 3-6-2011 08:07 ]