Hello sir Wachovia68 , havin read your story, i really amazed that your a very generous gentleman.
The way you treated these WGs its like them havin you as their BF as you respected and pampered them so much.

Actually, you already know the history of that girl. You already knew about her work the very first time you met her.
You also knew that she's doin the escort service to earn a living to feed her family and suppliment her needs.

You treated her well and respected her like a human being and you both enjoyed each other's company so one way or the other if your not lovers, then both of you can be considered as friends and friends do help one another in a way.
Perhaps thats the reason she's asking you to help her now.

If you like her and sort of trust her, i think you you give her the benefit of the doubt.
Try ask her for more details regardin her father's illness.
Why is there a need for such a huge amount of money?
What if its true that she's really in need? Will you help her?

I suggest that if you dont want to further investigate and your generous to help her, perhaps u can just send her a certain amount (not all 20k RMB) at your own good will and let her appreciate you more as a friend.

Don't wanna sound harsh but I don't think this is something to think about this much.  IF she cared about you so much she would NOT have asked you to pay for her father's hospital bills I mean who asks their client to pay for their parents hospital bills it just ruins the relationship and puts unnecessary burden and pressure on the customer. Plus you already dished out 20k.

This sounds like a scam,,,, She was just trying to take advantage of your generosity. And you already feel that the trust is gone and ruined your relationship,,, So do not do it,,,, If you do it this time, the next time will be a bigger amount and you will get more pissed off,,,,, I had a similar situation before and I cut her off when the WG was asking for money for some other reasons,,,

Good luck

was gonna reply but I think wander already shout it out for me

totally agree with him. It's better to be generous the next time you see her. don't feel guilty just because a single WG. You've done a lot for her (the shopping and all), and you've being really generous with her. whether she's trying to milk you for money or not, that's a different issue all together. Just said that sorry you can't help her with that, but the next time you met her, just be as generous, or give a little more

just my 2c

Hey guys, appreciate all the replies so far. Quite interesting to hear your views on the matter.

Anyway, some updates. Since receiving the email yesterday, I have not replied anything to her. Anyway, this morning, I found this email from her:

宝贝！我已经找朋友借到钱了，我爸的手术也做完了，还要在医院住几天，我和妈妈在医院照顾陪着爸爸！
知道你的工作很忙不该打扰你的，可是当时真的很急，我身上又没有那么多钱，我们家的亲戚都不是有钱人，开口借钱很难！当我遇到困难、无助的时候我就会想到你，因为你是我最好的朋友，我只有像你求助了！今天没吓到你吧！

Plugging through Google Translate:

Baby! I have to find a friend to borrow money, and my dad's surgery is also done, but also in the hospital a few days, my mother and I accompanied my father to take care in the hospital!
Know your busy at work should not disturb you, but was really impatient, my body has not so much money, our family is not wealthy relatives, the opening is difficult to borrow money! When I encounter difficulties, and helpless when I think of you because you are my best friend, I only like you for help! Today did not scare you!

So it seems that somehow her problem is resolved. Or she's worried that she's pissed/scared me off? Those with a better understanding of the PRC girl's psyche, would be great to hear your input.

Edit: I still  haven't replied yet. Now starting to tend towards getting back in touch with her but making it clear that I am not sending any money.

LMAO!!

"....So it seems that somehow her problem is resolved....."

Hardly!
She's only putting on the pressures - for the next one is gonna be that they will not discharge her father unless he pays the money for the operation and will basically imprison him there until they do pay....whilst still continually charging the daily rates for the hospital bed, and thus snowballing the bill.

LMAO!

SEAJ

Ps edit:
I'd reply to her e-mail soon and just set the record/your terms straight now instead of waiting around. Reply soon as you want her to know that you have decided and are determined to set the relationship straight and that is "OK, I'll pay you reasonable rate when I'm with you but please don't expect anymore than that. You don't like this - well, too bad - your call."

[ Last edited by  SEAJ at 5-10-2011 16:37 ]

Keep seeing her if you enjoy your company but just go easy on the amount of money you are spending. Instead of showering the wl with gifts shower your self with gifts and get yourself some good stuff. I say just wait a few days say you haven't checked your email in a while and say that is great news sorry you couldn't help. But DON'T say is there anything you can do? She is probably expecting it. Yeah just take it as lesson learned and meet new girls.

I have seen this countless times thru QQ, SMS, email and verbally. It is a well known tactic used by all WG and even by Civvy to some extent. Therefore do not fall into the vicious circle. They want to milk you as much as possible from you before you move on to the next girl. They know inevitably you will move on and find some other SYT or PYT out there.

I use a different approach I set my expectation up front after the FIRST session. If there is a SECOND and THIRD then she knows and I know there can no be more than what we have AND best of all no BS asking for $$$. It is a transaction basis based on 1k per day or bulk discount subject to negotiation. It is a business transaction. Nothing more nothing less.

The amount they ask varies from 10k to 20k. That is about right as they roughly know what we can give and cannot give. If she ask too much then she is overboard and if she ask too little the ROI is not there. They have done this countless times and their rough estimates cannot be too far.

Like some Bros say tell her you are unable to fulfill her request at this moment of time and ask her when is she available to meet you next? Change the subject. Be in control.

Lastly they are all SURVIVORS. Do not worry about them. They know where to beg borrow or steal to get the money if the situation is real. That said I have seen medical invoice or reports that are fake. Yes you can fake that even. Conspiracy upon conspiracy.

My guess is right, since you treated her nicely, she considers you as her best friend so in times of needs, she'll definitely seek for your help.
Actually its up to you. if you find her sincere, then continue to enjoy her company, if not, then end it now.
Somehow she gained your respect and trust by not asking money from you everytime you seek her escort. i think every cent you spend on her (either you shop for her or gave her allowances) is by your own will so you be the judge.
You been with her for sometime.

Perhaps your story would end up like the movie PRETTY WOMAN that stars Richard Gere and Julia Roberts.

Cheer!

In my opinion, definitely meet up with her again and see if she'll ask for money again. She did seem pretty sincere in the beginning, but that could just be a set-up to the 15k point, but you never know...

if you had no problem buying an LV bag then whats the problem with sending 15k?

Actually.....THAT is a very valid observation/question!!

I've had to pay for a few LV/Gucci and other bags in my lifetime - and yeah, a genuine LV bag generally nears or even tops  that 15K mark.

All things being relative, welllllll...........!!

SEAJ

[ Last edited by  SEAJ at 5-10-2011 17:32 ]

I guess from our point of view, the main point is not the money, we found it disgusting to be scammed and be treated like a walking ATM machine. You can well afford the 15k if she is a "real" friend in need.

So if it was me I will certainly press forward for the truth. If she is scamming you, I'm sure she will disappear from your view quick and start to look for another victim. There is no point trying to avoid this issue and keep the relationship going, even on a pure professional footing.

Sometimes we really feel uncertain when friends or relatives visit us and tell us that they have some financial problems then asking if they can borrow money from us.
We feel uneasy with this kind of scenario.
its seems we hate to let go the money being borrowed from us but there are times when we see friends or relatives really in need and they dont ask for money, we tend to take the initiative to offer them help or even voluntarily pay for whatever debt they have with a happy heart.
The feeling is just different when you help and let go money wholeheartedly like charity.

[ Last edited by  devilgodspeed at 5-10-2011 18:20 ]

There is no right or wrong answer. Best is always be selfish and hope for the best. Even in CP girls cheat among themselves even those who are best of the best of the best friends or even blood relatives and etc... Money is the root of all evil.

"if you had no problem buying an LV bag then whats the problem with sending 15k?"

Money is definitely not the problem here. It's the scamming ways that's annoying. I mean if she says "Hey, life is kinda  tough around here. My job now only pays me RMB 1K per month. You can send me say 5K or so? Help me out.", I would probably have said yes and sent her some money.

I suppose in a way, feel some sense of betrayal (I know it sounds lame, but I'm  human afterall and will admit my shortcomings) since I thought she's won't do that to me.

Oh well, my plan now is to just ignore here for the next few days. See if she sends any emails. I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks again for all the comments and info.

I understand what you mean brother Wachovia68 if she had been honest and upfront and trusted you with her problems instead of making up a story. I think sending 5k or 10k over would have beeen a much easier choice. If she is thankful and a nice girl she would give you extra nice service next time you see her xD.
In this case I think the betrayal would make you flaccid next time you see her.

Out of curiousity, I've got a question for those bros out there who are familiar with Chinese medical system.

Say someone really had appendicitis and had to get it removed. The surgery should be quite straightforward since it's a common procedure. And say spend 3-4 days in hospital. Say that this was a regular govt-run hospital and they have the hukou card or whatever, how much would the fees come up to?

I'm thinking that RMB 15K is way too much since I know that something similar in Malaysia would cost say RMB 10K tops.

This is precisely the point that I am trying to make to you; you MUST know that whatever the state of your affair with a WG - that such affair is predicated on $$ changing hands. Nothing more, nothing less.

That you now feel "betrayed" spells to me the fact that you think that your relationship with her is NOT based upon money.  As I've said previously, when having affairs with WG's it is very important that both parties must understand that IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS, the affair only happened because money changes hands. PERIOD.

Yeah a bit of downer on one's ego - but better than to fool oneself and better than to then feel betrayed when this fact comes to the surface - as it invariably always does....and is now happening in your case.

Don't feel betrayed - its just within her job description.
Instead, take charge of the situation like I wrote above.

SEAJ

Ps edit
And by the way - the tragedy when a John/WG couple don't realize what its all about and NOT state it out clearly and early, is that its sometimes the girl who is lulled into thinking that its true love.
Guys, well, we just move on, but a WG who falls head over heels in love with a punter really becomes a mess.

[ Last edited by  SEAJ at 5-10-2011 23:03 ]

Wachovia68, I agree with SEAJ comments. I think how much is not the matter. Take control as highlighted by SEAJ. It has a happier ending in the end. Princess will come and go. At least your you do not feel like a fool in the end.

Depending on the province and the level of medical technology I am guessing around 8-10k RMB. My bro did his key hole surgery in Malaysia for about RM$ 8k.

It does not matter how much the surgery costs. It is whether you feel right or wrong.