considering the fact that i've been mongering before i saw my gf, mongering during and after doesnt seem to bother me. =)

OK, get it now. Actually, I'm quite like you; single and mongering. I also wonder whether I'd continue if and when I get married. I'd like to think not but you can never know until you're in that situation.

Is that because you'd like to think that you'd have the strength of will to overcome lust and do right by your woman; or do you think that the 50 yr old woman you've been married to for 25 yrs - you know, her with the expanding ass and drooping tits - will satisfy all of your physical needs and still the craving for young female flesh?

What is the problem Hartford? When you start off a thread do you expect that every reply will be to your liking or correspond to your way of thinking? That's BS. If you can't take it, don't start off a thread. There is no need for comments like - "I'll just let this one slide" or "so be it... I'll accept that". If you have something to say, say it and we will continue the 'debate'. If you can't take the heat, well.... too bad then. But you still need to be mindful that no one forced you on the forum with a gun to your head.

Ahhh. OK, I get it now - you read this forum because when you are not in a relationship, you do go visiting WGs. For some reason when I read your first post I made an assumption that you were currently married/in a relationship, and you disapproved of those that do go mongering.

But of course he disapproves. If he didn't think it was wrong to monger while in a relationship, he wouldn't have started this thread in the first place.

mxq I was attempting to be gracious apologies if I failed

I just think that the tone of some replies was marred by unnecessary nastiness  / not reading what I'd posted while other replies were interesting and constructive.  Surely people can see that some of the replies were mocking, cutting and careless.

It's not about not wanting to hear opposing views or not wanting to participate in debate...it's about etiquette

Anyway, I'm getting the feeling that for some of you nothing I will say will redeem this thread / or even myself in your eyes

So, as I said, instead of further complaining...I'll just let whatever reservations I might have about some of these replies slide and not try to keep the thread rolling

Apologies to those who, even on a proper reading, found my opening post ambiguous

Don't think like that. Most people, including me, just didn't understand what you were actually trying to say. Now we do, I think your question - 'how do married men continue to visit whores without feeling guilty' - is perfectly valid. Certainly, in the eyes of society, and the divorce courts, such a man IS guilty. But, because this is a site for men who visit whores on a regular basis, it's not surprising that they take a differing view to mainstream society.

Why don't you explain why 'you really couldn't do it'.

Proper readings, improper readings, and all sorts of readings in-between, your original post was (as you kind of acknowledge) somewhat ambiguous. Or at the very least, it was an incomplete post that perhaps did not capture the heart of what you were asking.

I think that when you have an ambiguous post, you're going to find people will naturally infer meaning/intent from what they read. I read your original post and inferred a degree of disapproval coming from you because you wrote you "really couldn't do".

If you hadn't of typed those last 5 words, it would have simply been a post asking questions with no bias/perspective/judgment implied. It's a little bit like when a Bro files a report on a girl, and another Bro takes a look at her pictures and finds her unattractive and then comments something like "I don't think she is very pretty, in fact I think she is ugly, how could you fuck that, I never could!" - well, those comments never go down too well, right? Unfortunately, that's a little bit how your original post came across at the beginning.

And I don't think there was really any true nastiness in this thread. Certainly not by regular internet standards. This forum by my experience is actually very well mannered. Mocking? Nothing wrong with that, especially when it's funny, which it was. And if you feel you're being mocked for something, that's when you jump in to clarify what has been misunderstood, if it has indeed been misunderstood (or defend your position vigorously if it's something you believe in)

You don't think anything you will say will bring you redemption? I think the more we get to know you, through what you write/say, the more understanding there is. I think it's good that you've continued to participate in the thread, as I think you've clarified and explained a little bit in terms of where you are coming from. For the record, I now no longer think you actually intended to sow any seeds of disapproval on the rest us of for behaviour you couldn't do. OK?

And if, as I'm now assuming, you are single again and are on this forum because you are doing your research on which WGs take your fancy, make sure to come back and post your reports!

I took waaaayyy too long typing my long-winded reply! You beat me to it, and said exactly what I was thinking too       

Mxq / Lenny thanks for your kind words

I realise I'm being a bit precious, and am grateful for the things you've said

Lenny - why "I really couldn't do it"....in the sense of doing it without feeling any guilt etc

I really don't know for sure.  As I suggested, I had mongered once or twice when a relationship was on the brink of breaking up...and did shortly later...I still felt terrible, as the girl I broke up with was such a nice person...

Leaving aside the obvious (STIs), I spose a part of me wants to find someone I'm so keen on I wouldn't want to do it.  I recognise the realities though of relationships and aging etc.  sometimes the desire dies. I spose I'd then feel either disappointed that the relationship had got to that point...thereby "compelling" mongering.....or perhaps feel that in some way I'd betrayed my partner.  

Put it this way, even if a mongering dude didn't feel guilty, would he want to tell his partner?  In my case, I suspect the answer would be no, so in the concealment and the anticipated reaction lies the sense of betrayal

I do understand the counter-arguments, but I just wonder how, it feels in your more reflective moments...

Anyways, I spose a broader issue is that there is a difference between sechs with a whore and regular sechs...  the focus is slightly more on your pleasure and there are fewer potential limitations to what you can do...also it is there whenever you want it.

I wonder, of those who said on this thread that they were single but haven't / wouldn't want to monger in a relationship: do you think that once you have had whore sechs you'll never be so satisfied with other sechs that you'll be able to stop mongering?  THere is the saying that once you start whoring, you never stop.  Maybe this is why....

as a man you make your decision and you stand by it.

guilt is a luxury of the privedged classes that have nothing else to think about.

Are you one of those who worry about CLIMATE CHANGE?

For me worrying about climate change is same as worrying about mongering - just pure indulguance

Enjoy your life and enjoy your body which you live in! Its only a very short life

Now my question will be - will a man be able refrain from having a session with WG if there is no consequences; morally, emotionally, financially and physically. I'm inclined to believe that the answer more likely than not is "No". We will feel guilty if something do go wrong because of our visit to WGs. It is not like we have never commited "adultery" in our minds even if we have not physically done so... who is to judge us on that basis then? Of course, actually doing it is another "crime" so to speak, albeit a more serious one.

But like pauley said, you make your decision and you stand by it like a man (or rather, we hide from the fact like a mouse when confronted). Guilt is entirely up to the individuals. Some do, most don't. Addiction to it, like my case , makes me think of tonnes of excuses to justify my acts...

Ok - I've been married for 10 years and have sex with my wife perhaps once a month, twice if I'm lucky.  She's just not very interested, and I'm not going to force myself on her.  But I still care about her and don't want to do anything that would hurt her.  When I'm overseas, I feel a sense of freedom, and regularly pay for sex - on the basis that I enjoy it, and that as long as my wife doesn't know, it really doesn't hurt her.  If it doesn't impact her in any way, how can it hurt her?
I actually feel much more guilty about the money I spend, than the sex - because that's taking away from money available to my family - and I have obligations to my kids, as well as my wife.  So I try not to spend too much.
So there's a sense of "I don't get it at home, I like it, and it doesn't hurt anyone if I have it".  But there's also the fact that I couldn't attract good looking young women when I was young (too nerdy), but now that I'm middle aged and have a little money, I can get a little of what I missed out on when I was younger.

Introspection over...

Actually, I don't have any problem with a guy who decides not to monger out of respect for the girl he's involved with. That's a perfectly reasonable personal decision.

I gave Hartford a hard time because of the judgmental language he used in his original post. I think he now regrets that "I really couldn't do it."

But, I also think he hasn't given much thought to the various kinds of men who actually do monger. Were not all young, good-looking guys who have non-paid sexual access to attractive young women, as tuteman's excellent post points out.

Have you tried praying to the Virgin Mary instead?  Works a treat!

I think that doing prostitute is like masturbation.
I don't love the girl that I do. I just want to see other girl.

imo, its better to just pay for sex and have no emotional attachment to the girl then to fall for another girl and be actually dating her.  when i first started pooning i made it a rule not see a WG more than 3 times if i'm in a relationship.  that way i'm not emotionally attached, and its nothing more than say going out to watch a movie.. hehe