It is an unsolvable dilemma I know. I wouldn't mind my wife seeing a WB, although sure it would take some effort to be totally alright with it. It would be nice to have this pact. Would make things easier. The problem is only that I know she does not want at all. For her love and sex are necessarily related. So if I decide to go for it, I should absolutely keep calm.

Do you guys feel that seeing a WG helps you to be less distracted by attractive women in your normal life? Does it appease the urge a bit?

I must admit that while my wife and i have not spoken about it, she suspects and realizes that my hobby exists.
I am sure she does not like the fact, but after so many years we understand one another.
She knows i am careful and no matter what we will end our lives married and as happy as anyone (More so than most i hope).
It also helps my cause that early on in our marriage, she had 2+ affairs as she was comming to grips with married life.
I was OK with that activity back then, and would still be if she saw the need.
--8th

I think that would be best, with such mutual compromision. It exist, both parties know about it, nobody speaks about it, nobody checks on you.

I'd say you have a get out of jail free card in her having had affairs before.  
You can always blame your mid life crisis for mongering.  

Not sure i would word it a Get Out of Jail Free case.
More along the lines of age and decades of marriage allowing for a more relaxed approach to things.
That and a lot of "Don't ask, Don't tell"
--8th

I have no conscience but I'm also not married (just a gf).  I've never visited a WG before tbh but after seeing some of the nice women up in here I will probably in the near future :-) I won't feel guilty about it because it's just sex.  I'm not going to love my gf less because I'm visiting a WG so no need to feel guilty.  But if she finds out I'm a dead man

You are a way bigger man than I am dude. I know there is a double standard, but if I found out my wife had even one affair, I would fucking snap and probably be on death row for double homicide.

You are talking about two different things.  Women in your normal life will always be more attractive than a WG simply because they won't spread their legs for you for a few dollars, hence I guess that's why there is an OL fetish going in HK. In the case of WGs, there is no chase, you pay, you fuck.

Absolutely yes.  

There are a number of animal and bird species that mate exclusively for life.  
And tons more that mate exclusively for the duration of a breeding cycle.  

But there are also plenty that play around when their partner isn't looking ...

For example, research with budgerigars showed both male and female are likely to philander when their partner is out of sight, but stay loyal to their partner when they are within sight.  
Another piece of trivia: Did you know the shape of a dog's dick is remarkably effective at scooping out the sperm of a prior rival?  Why would that feature have evolved in dogs I wonder?  
Ermine (at least I think it's ermine, may be another of those small furry creatures) stay locked together for abt 13 hours after orgasm ... why would that be??  
etc...

We are what we are.  And women are the way they are - and they will react to competition with jealousy / rage / vengeance / divorce / etc. because that is what they do.  

... and there will always be exceptions, both guys and gals, who are mature, stable, and do things a different way.  

You have to know your own situation, and make your choices according to your best chance of survival.

speaking for myself yes, no question.  Getting sex makes me altogether less grumpy and more reasonable ... and much less interested in high-maintenance chicks.  

Lock me up for long enough and I'll do anyone or anything at any cost.

I've never understood this ownership/possession thing that most guys seem to have about their women. I had a Japanese girlfriend when I was living in Osaka who I knew was seeing someone on the side when I was away from Japan, but I couldn't have cared less. I had a drop-dead gorgeous Jewish gf in the states who would get it on with a previous bf now and then, and it never bothered me. And I've told several gf's out here in in Asia that if they wanted to see someone else it was fine with me, just don't tell me the details. I suppose being married to the chick might make a difference, but I still don't see it.

Attitudes towards infidelity vary from culture to culture, so jealously is to some extent, at least, an acquired characteristic. In any case, this possession thing causes a lot of frustration and we would all lead happier lives if we could just loosen up and admit that fucking is fun and not get all bent out of shape because the so is getting a little something on the side. And in my experience, cheating wives remain attractive and sexy a lot longer than the frustrated housewife who fucks the same guy once or twice a mth for 20+ years - an arrangement that you'll admit, if you're honest, is as boring for the wife as it is for the husband.

We guys sneak off to the brothel thinking it's our Y-chromosome right and that women don't need that kind of thing. Wrong. I've screwed a lot of very horny wives in my life and they all appreciated the chance for something new. Everybody craves variety.

Having and raising a child together often kills the romantic/sexual element in many married relationships. These wives/mothers can go wild given the chance to have sex with someone outside the relationship.

To me, the perfect situation is a group of friends with attractive wives/gf's all screwing each other. Just think how much more exciting and satisfying our lives would be if we could let go of this possession thing. Unfortunately, things never seemed to align properly for that to happen, but I've screwed friends' wives and gf's and feel no guilt about it. In my experience, even apparently faithful wives will cheat with great enthusiasm if given opportunity and sufficient incentive.

I guess it's all to do with L-O-V-E. If you don't love the girl, of course you don't care if she's fucking other guys. But I'd still dump any GF who was cheating on me.  

So how many people here are religious?

The Bible and other religions regards adultery as a great sin and a great social wrong. Even if you get pass your own morals and conscience, you will also need to cast aside your religious belief in order to monger and have extramarital sex.

So I guess that a majority of the guys here are non-religious.

However if you are religious how do you handle this "sin" when you go mongering?

That is just my individual take on things. I am, by nature, not a jealous person, which is good, I think - aren't we always being cautioned about making decisions when in the grip of passion. If a girl is interesting, what difference does it make if she screws someone else now and then? Also, I've found that seeing a girl who fools around on the side can be very exciting in that it removes some of the possessive pressure that women always show towards their lovers, and prevents the relationship from settling into that taking-the-other-for-granted mode that robs things of the passion that comes in the initial stages of a relationship when the hunt is still on. Infidelity keeps things alive and in a state of flux. And it does lessen the pressure on you to toe the straight and narrow.

Also, for the guy, at least, that sexual-possessive kind of love usually disappears after a few years.

[ Last edited by  Marsupial at 3-10-2009 14:10 ]

Yes, let's turn to the Bible for ethical guidance. Check out these pointers for leading the good life.

(Deuteronomy 22:20-21)

But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel, (unmarried women) then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die, because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her fathers house; so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

(Deuteronomy 22:23-24)

If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.

Fuck the Bible!

I really see it as a case of deciding ahead of time, what you really want.
For me that is a desire to end my stay on this pollution filled globe, as a man who celebrated a 40th (if not 50th) wedding anniversary.

I don't view my relationship with my wife as one of possession.

We are best friends.
Friends who happen to have interlocking body parts.
;-)

She still treats me like a prepubescent teen more often than not, and that is on her good days...
But THAT is a chat for a different string.
;-)

--8th

Really?  If she found out about your 'affairs' would you expect the same? If so, not really a double standard!

You guys who need to monger "on the quiet", so to speak - what precautions do you take to avoid detection, if any? I'm thinking here of things like clearing tell-tale cookies on your PC, and/or hobby-related sites in the cookie-exception list; do you clear your browser history after being here, that sort of thing. Do you go out of your way to monger in areas where you are unlikely to be spotted by non-mongering acquaintances?

Also, does anybody know of HK cases from personal experience where a suspicious wife/gf arranged for her husband to be followed to find out what he was up to?

Uh, what's a high-maintenance chick?

I think I could forgive my other half if I'd found out that she'd had an affairbefore, but I'd have serious problems getting my head around it if I knew that she was having an affair right now

I just hope neither of us catch the other playing around