Dear Abby, er, I mean SEAJ,

Your advice is usually right on target.  No worries about your posts from me, though I do find some of the discussions disturbingly frank.  I am not so open to discuss my own personal frailties and I was not expecting such on this site.  But if the group at large doesn't mind these discussions, in fact seems to support them, who am I to rock the boat.

@ gonuts;

I must admit that at first I thought your posts were a crock, just fictional comments posted to liven up this thread.  But you seem sincere and have actively joined in on other discussions.  So I would like to add my two cents on your earlier post of "just pounding away during sex".

Good sex isn't about pounding away until you ejaculate, or in your case, run out of steam.  That's just the male's need to keep the species alive.  "Good" sex is about sharing the experience with your partner.  That is why you have been advised to work with the civvie population first rather than just WG's.  While it is sometimes possible to connect with a WG, it is not a guarantee.  With a civvie there is usually some personal connection made prior to having sex which then leads to a mutual desire to share the experience.  If you are worried about your weight or appearance in general then SEAJ is right.  Lower your expectations a bit until you have more confidence and then start looking for the girl of your dreams.  Also, sex discussion aside, for your own personal health it sounds like you need to get more exercise.  The gym is not for everyone, but it is usually convenient.  But you can start out slowly just by walking a couple of miles every day and then work your way into more demanding activities.

Back to the topic off pounding away.  As I said, good sex is a shared experience.  It is not a race to the finish and you don't have do all the work.  Try CG for a while.  You can catch your breath while the gal does most of the work.  Changing to other different positions gives you a few seconds in between to slow things down.  I also find that gals, if they are into sharing the experience, like a change of pace too.  If they are starting to get excited, slow down for a few minutes and tease them while you catch your breath, then increase speed again.  Changing depth of penetration can have the same effect.  I often do this several times and it usually results in a much better result for the gal.  Again, this works better with civvies.  Many WG's just want to get it over with and will actually encourage you to just pound away.

Just my two cents, accept or reject.  I leave that up to you.

[ Last edited by  DB141 at 18-12-2011 09:41 ]

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, “Will you marry me?” The Princess said, “No!!!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged skinny long-legged big-titted broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frikin cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

                                           THE END.

Then I woke up and it was all just a dream..........
Only if dreams do come true bro..

HEY - that's a GREAT idea!!

How about me awarding, say, 5 or even 10 Karma points, for each week's "Post of the week."  

And all of us have a "vote" anytime you award a Point - either K or A to a particular post - and NOT dependent upon how many actual points one accumulates - thus each one of us have an equal vote. My posts will NOT be eligible.

A bit of levity/fun and games?
Whaddy'all think?

SEAJ

Ps edit
This is of course presuming that the Mods will approve.
I'll double check with the Mods later to make sure, pending you guys' favorable response.

[ Last edited by  SEAJ at 18-12-2011 17:33 ]

If I were the subject of the story, not sure I could say I would live happily ever after.

I'd be absolutely fookin delirious!

wander: Only sayin that Santa isn't real. It's a hard truth I know, and in the words of the all seeing Yoda "Sad I was" when I heard, and I broke down in a flood of tears last week when I was told! Best you know.
But worry not, after I had composed myself, and they managed to get the shotgun out of my mouth. All concerned did assure me the Tooth Fairy is real

How about making it site wide?  Not everyone reads every report and post, and maybe links to the best (and nominees) would help us not miss anything.  Maybe we could start a thread in the veggie section for nominees.

@doghead on my previous post: the guy who was part of the "pact" of course just slept with her, enjoyed the freebie, and went on his merry way. He doesn't seem to show any guilt over the matter, but his friendship with the guy who liked the girl is pretty much destroyed. The guy who liked the girl refuses to talk about it, just awkward greetings when they see each other. I think he's gotten over her by now at least. Just a pity all around.

The whole point of the pact was that it was a safe way for her to lose her virginity with "no strings attached," and avoid peer pressure of being a virgin. (It may be news to some guys that girls feel it too) It's hard to imagine no strings attached ever applying to a person's virgin experience. It's even less plausible when someone bares their soul about it in an online journal...

I think most of us here with some experience would say that with civs, the no strings attached scenario is rarely the case, no matter what is "agreed upon" before the hookup, which is a huge part of the attraction of WGs.

i think i am the same with guy that is heart broken.
well, i know that in my mind that i should accept GF for whatever she have.
but the truth is i am like that guy there.

once upon a time, i fell in love with a girl who is my classmate. pretty, smart, a bit tomboy. but her smile is fascinating that the moment she comes into class, many guys declare their love for her.
i did not fell at first sight. but since i am 1 of the top rank student at that time. i get to work with her in a team so much that i often see her, and seeing her more make me wanna have her as GF. ( i like it best when she smile).

i also got a best friend at that time. we go out so much together, play computer games together.
and i know he is a bastard who makes girl cry over phone.( i don't care about that since i don't know the girl whom he make cry, at least her sound is not one of my classmate). he is great at socializing.

then the moment comes we are joking in a car while going to game center, when he make a joke,"have u know (she) is not virgin anymore.", (even though i am her classmate, i don't talk so much to other people since i talk nothing but games. everyone is class know that i like her because i treat her differently than other girls.) that is the moment i don't have the desire to chase upon her anymore, i know that it may just be a gossip, a rumour, or even a plan to keep me away from chasing her. but it works !!!

Sorry for blurting out my past .
just want to show my immaturity that i wanna change that. but still attached to it.
thanks for everyone advise. never thought this thread gonna be counselling forum
my bad for changing the direction
btw, by going to WG, i actually plan to kill the attachment to that immaturity. but, WTH, it still in my mind

for everyone.

Sigh.....!!!  OK, I'll try again.

Three things you have said/established about yourself in the above post - that you are very book-smart, you are immature and you DO liike guys with great social skills like your best friend.  GREAT! At least we've got something to start off with.

First, you got to turn that book smartness into real life smart! Don't just read about things to pass tests, instead go out and make mistakes, try out different things, get hurt, get proud, get into arguments, get in love....and learn from real life experience instead of remaining a book smart nerd. Enough books, enough scouring the internet, enough locking yourself away to beat off - go out and try to become more like your best friend;  And if he is your best friend, confide in him and ask him to teach you his outlook AND approach to life, people and situations...and try it out yourself.  Making a girl cry - well, at various stages of life, most of us either cry because of a gal or we make girsl cry.  That's just life as lived in the real world; nothing to be proud of, but also nothing to be ashamed/agonize over.

Second on your immaturity - well - this goes hand in hand with just being book smart and living life in the idealized world that literature is - nobody writes books with all the warts and all of real life - they do so trying to sell their book! If you know you are immature - then go out and experience stuff...that is how one matures. Through all the hurts, the accomplishments, the arguments, the heartaches, the light and air of love, the heart crunching hell when it all comes apart - that's the path to maturity .... and real life.

Third and most importantly - stop idealizing sex, relationships and LIFE! No such thing and one just has to make do with what's available...and hopefully work yourself up to better as you get more under your belt.  And talking about your belt, I want to hear that you are notching up a hole each week as you go to the gym and start to slim down and/or get a new belt as you get some smart clothes and become fastidious in your appearance.  OK?


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Reply post 3066 yazoo' post

Yeah it'd be great if we could have a board wide "Best Post of the week" award - but this is way beyond our capablities here and would need a Mod to accomplish - something which I would NOT expect them to want to do as they've already got their hands full.

This thread...welll this thread is basically OUR baby and we could do most of what we want to do ourselves here. Its meant to be a place to just idly chat away, have fun and games and socialize with each other - something which I hope most already see us doing - and probably best if we just keep this award "Game" within our thread.

Like I said, you ALL are the judges, and I'll just tally the total of the number of times a particular thread gets rated (not how many points are awarded @ rate, and don't matter if A of K points - all I count is the number of rates on posts).

Come on guys - get into the spirit of things and give me your feedback.
Thanks!

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Reply #3065 travelpro's post
Yeah - this is the image we married guys COULD and usually conjure up when looking at singletons - but is it reality??  Or an idealized world of what singlehood is about - and which I had posted up to point out to gonuts the difference between real life and an ideal world!

The reality is that married guys live longer, usually end up with higher net worth, and usually will be grateful for their decision to have gotten married on their death bed.  The single guy - well, yes probably more material flash and fury, especially when younger - but old single guys are IMHO quite pitiful and really, hate to say this, but also quite pathetic. Yup, there's the ideal world and there's real life.

SEAJ

[ Last edited by  SEAJ at 19-12-2011 10:53 ]

Well, it does seem you "know" yourself well enough, AND realize your thoughts are likely not entirely healthy or realistic.  This is good - as my guess is you'll grow out of this mindset just fine.

No matter which girl you're with you will find flaws and imperfections:  be they physical, behavior or attitudes, past sins...  Whatever.  If you expect to find the purest virgin goddess with a pristine past, with nary an ill-word spoken, nor the faintest taint of wrongdoing...., you'll be waiting a LONG time.

Besides, she's already married to Santa - he doesn't exist either.    (Or so I'm told).

Besides, this perfect woman would be frickn BORING as hell!!

At your age you don't need to be searching for your soulmate.  Just go have some fun!  Relax your expectations and practise your social skills on some lesser-beauties.  Gain some confidence then move up the food chain.., or not.  You migh t just find "the one" along the way....

gonuts:
Another advantage to starting with the 'lesser-beauties' is that if you start with the woman of your dreams, and she sometimes is into you and sometimes she isn't, you are going to be playing a roller-coaster game of she loves me, she doesn't love me.  And it will seem that the entire universe hangs in the balance.

Once you've had a few under your belt, you will have the emotional maturity to handle the 'true love' that doesn't work out.

Well that's the theory anyway.  I still fall pretty hard.  At least I know it, have been through it before, and have the experience to know that it ends.

SEAJ
Your comments about married people living longer - was watching a tv show last night that trotted out an old joke to a character that was getting married -- "don't get married, just find a woman you hate and buy her a house!"

More xmas decorations:

bro gonuts:

thanks for sharing a few details about yr life. sounds like u have some smarts, social skills...SEAJ put it much better than i could.

my advice is to read SEAJ's advice and think about it for awhile. decide for yrself how much of it applies to u.

to me this is GOOD NEWS. he's pointing out attributes in you that u probably have, but it's hard to see ourselves as others see us. you've been going out in the world and meeting people, and learning there are different kinds of people out there. some you'll like more than others. BUT, if u have a positive attitude, THAT is what people like. it's not clothes/music/whatever. focus on the positive. if people like something you like, that's GOOD. book-smarts are GOOD. talk with people, start conversations, but be sure to let the other person talk and listen. and if it's a woman you're having a conversation with, try not to stare at her tits!

i'm serious about the last part. we're guys, we like to look. women aren't as visually oriented. they like to talk and exchange ideas. that's why if you have a female friend (NOT girlfriend, start with friend FIRST), you can have good conversations. it gets easier when you have something to talk about you're both interested in--not just the talking, but the listening.

you don't have to put ANY pressure on yourself as to whether this gal is "the one" or not (and seriously, forget about this virgin-thing, it's doing nothing but holding u back). just talk to her. here's why: women talk to each other, and they see guys talking to their friends. that interests them. they'll ask questions later, when yr not around.

this is the way guys like us, who don't look like Brad Pitt, learned how to deal with women. we realized gals weren't gonna crawl over broken glass to become our girlfriends, so we had to have something to offer. yes, some more exercise and less Internet porning WILL make u feel better about yrself. but talking with girls will also boost yr confidence. and while looks/wealth etc are all nice, what women really like in men is SELF-CONFIDENCE. if you're comfortable in your own skin, and know how to talk (and listen), you'll meet women. they won't be perfect, they NEVER are. but each and every one will be wonderful in her own right.

this won't happen overnight--i know people are all giving u advice. but that's because we LIKE you. maybe you remind us of ourselves. as for me, i was a bookish nerd who wasn't popular. gals in high school wouldn't talk to me (i didn't play sports or whatever). but eventually i learned how to talk to them, and listen. before long more interesting things were happening...

but we all live within a cultural setting, so it may be sooner, or later, but men and women are ALWAYS gonna get together. practice yr social skills--sounds like you already are. just stay on the path. interesting things will happen.

JtB

but did he die a lonely old man???

Just had a random thought for another fun thread.  What is the most outlandish sob story you have heard from a WG, etc about why she is in this line of work or why she needs extra cash?

I was just responding to a thread on the Macau forum and I mentioned a regular I have in Zhuhai who is laying on me her story of needing to put her younger brother through college.  Maybe it's true, but I doubt it.

But that's not my best one.  I was really putting the screws on this Phillippina singer in a hotel band in Shanghai a few years back and she told me her father had just died and she needed money for his funeral.  I found it odd that she didn't seem the least bit sad or affected in any way.  I wanted in her pants in the worst way, but I didn't bite.  Then a month later I meet her mother and sister and learn that good old Dad is still alive and kicking!  Taught me a good lesson.

Not to say there aren't some WG's with real problems to deal with, but my first reaction now is always "yeah, right".

@ gonuts, really take on board SEAJ's advice, it's sound

On a different topic, I've been trying to analyse my recent flirtation with mongering and have decided that I must be some kind of adrenalin junky. First visit to a sauna my heart was going like the clappers ... no HE but the thrill was immense. Second visit, HE was awesome but less of a rush overall. Third visit, again, left sexually fulfilled (HE) but now I'm looking for the next buzz.

I took a run down temple street the other night around the back of the stalls and saw the street WGs ... immediately my heart started racing faster. Is it inevitable that I graduate onto full-on mongersville? I'm pretty sure it's not the sex that I'm after as I'm pretty good at 'taking care of myself'. But I am fixated a little bit with the idea of sleeping with a WG right now.

I used to dabble with the ol' recreational drugs in my youth (but not for years and years) and could have easily got myself into a lot of trouble. Circumstance saved me at the time. Am I some thrill seeking idiot that won't be satisfied until I've thrown everything away?  I guess I'll find out soon enough.

Peace bros

[ Last edited by  happyfeet at 19-12-2011 22:32 ]

Errr.... "Graduate" onto full-on mongering??  What, we need edukashun and a degree in mongerology before we're allowed to monger??  LMAO!!

Ooops.... Sorry, couldn't help myself!!
But you bring up an interesting point - the "start" of each of our journey towards mongering - how it actually started etc. Lets face it, most of us, I would think, had been brought up to at least consider mongering with a degree of disdain - No?  How did each of us actually go down this path?? And what makes us continue??  What a topic!!

On a separate but related matter - there's a big discussion going on about what is to be the photo posting rules on 141 AND about sharing forum information/reports written up here with WG's and agents etc:

Discussion - Sharing forum information and real photos
http://forum.sex141.com/eforum/v ... id=35626&page=6

As a relative newcomer to our board AND more importantly as one who's only starting to dip his toes into the waters, you're quite unique and probably can add A LOT to the discussion on there.

Why don't you write up something with your POV on this whole matter please.
It should be a fresh take on the topic i/o all that's been commented by basically more "hardened' mongers.
We need fresh input on such an important Forum matter from a guy like you!!


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Reply #3074 DB141's post

I touched on this subject in my thread **^0^ Tricks of the Game – WG’s EXPOSED! ^0^**"
http://forum.sex141.com/eforum/v ... 6002&highlight=

That's gonna be the sum total of my contribution to this subject!!  
Ooops/LOL!

SEAJ

[ Last edited by  SEAJ at 20-12-2011 00:43 ]

I have to say my six years of living alone and being a total singleton was pretty good overall.
But having an SO does have its benefits, having trouble thinking what they may be in my case   
Although the kids quite like having her around, and I can honestly say that I would be poorer without her, despite the amount she spends, I would spend more if I was free to monger at will. So I guess that's where the higher net worth comes in.

Re the deathbed thing, not too sure about that one. I'm sure my SO will nag me to the very end.
Unless of course you mean that because of the nagging, I will welcome death with open arms!

thx for yr contribution...i think u were asking more about the potentially addictive nature of The Hobby.

it's a question only u yrself can answer. all of us, and i mean ALL, had strong reactions the first time we decided to visit a WG. heart hammering, stomach-churning, walking past the place a dozen times...finally deciding to go in, not knowing WHAT was gonna happen, or maybe even why we'd decided to go. but, if The Hobby was really our thing, we'd eventually sort it out.

as for the addiction-thing, there are some metrics that can be useful. most people think of "addiction" as substance-related (alcohol being the most popular as it's legal and socially acceptable). let's say a male professional is fond of having a certain substance in his nostrils. it makes him feel great. at first he uses it on weekends, and it's fun. then it's weeknights, and it's fun and trouble. then it's mornings before work, during lunch, afternoon tea...and it's just TROUBLE. then his wife leaves him, he no longer answers phone calls from his boss, and he's crawling around on the floor looking for something he *thinks* is there...to put in his nostrils. problem?

most people can understand that it is a problem, and the guy is best advised to seek help. but what about "thrill-addiction"? imagine someone who's lost their life-savings wagering on whatever, and has loan-sharks verrrry anxious to meet him...well, problem? many would say yes. yet, no substance involved there.

this is a gray area, but i think an important metric is: does the behavior affect your home-life, career, happiness? i think it's clear that the bros on this board who write reports enjoy The Hobby within their means, and if the SO would find it distressing, keep it to themselves.

it's not an easy call, happyfeet. yes, it's fun, but examine yr inner landscape. is it a hobby, or something that u find leaves you broke before the month is out, and yr sitting at home eating instant noodles wishing $400 would materialize in yr wallet so u cd afford busfare to Mongkok and a punt?

i do have a real-life story of someone i knew who really was ruined by The Hobby, but the problem with these extreme tales is that guys tend to think: "well i'm not THAT bad, so i must be OK." it's not that simple. most of us manage our situations. but everyone's different. everyone has different incomes, home-lives, etc. for some of us, a weekly punt is a fun and affordable hobby. others want more interaction and use multiple phones, etc. we're all different. but just as water seeks its own level, most mongers who write positive stories have found their own comfort-zone. some of us like leisurely laps around the pool, while others like to push themselves in repeated timed-sprints.

clearly, this is a serious question and since we're idly chatting, let's ask anyone reading to chime in: have you ever known anyone who you feel may be too closely involved with the hobby? i'll leave it at that, and of course, this is just one monger's opinion!

JtB

I think that if you have something that gives you a jolt of pleasure, then you anticipate that pleasure and your heart starts to race.  The pleasure could be sex, or heroin, or a cold beer on a hot day.

Now if you could have sex while drinking a cold beer on a hot day, would the anticipation be double?

I think so - and maybe that is the clue.  We anticipate:
- doing something just a little bit illicit
- meeting a beautiful girl for the first time
- having said beautiful girl strip naked in front of us
- (ok my heart is picking up speed right now)
- touching this gorgeous creature who we've only just met
- CIM

as opposed to seeing your SO naked (you've seen her a million times before), and struggling to create something new and exciting.  It isn't inherently exciting, so the anticipation isn't there.

You could almost compare it as unpacking the groceries, vs. the kid before christmas.

Can you get addicted to that?  Hell Yeah!   And I don't think that there is anything to complain about.  It also probably explains why some guys get SOOO disappointed with a B&S.

Anyway, today's Xmas dec - doghead likes globes:

Yeh, sorry... I had intended to write more but got interrupted... I know how you dislike SPAMMING karma whores LOL!


and he didn't lose consciousness until AFTER cuming in her mouth... she swallowed, opened her mouth to prove it, complimented him on the size of his d*ck and the taste of his cum and then he drifted away peacefully...

how does that sound Bro?

off topic LOL...

3 friends of mine in HK 2 weeks ago. One did some work for me because I had to go direct to Fujian. So he promised me he'd bang an MGal (first time for him) as a mark of respect to me in my absence LOL. I gave him a number and all worked out nicely. However he went back to his usual preference (Thai) the following night. Had a condom blow out!!! he shit himself, so did the WG. 24 hours later, rash/puss... He went to this place:
http://www.neohealth.com.hk/en/hk-sexual-health-centre.html

short notice, got in, good service, discrete and understanding, they prescribed some antibiotics. a few days later he was all ok. Not sure what ongoing checking is required but he told me under control.

Good to know.