my SO put a cell phone location tracker on my cell phone.

She says that she always might need to know where I am, for example, in an emergency.

anyone got any approaches for dealing with this?

eternal gratitude...

Is it an app? Or is it on her phone as well?

Something similar happened to me a long time ago..: I remember I just put my phone into airplane mode.

My last job place an app on my work phone. I did a lot of driving in my last job. In my downtime I would sneak an appt with a kgirl. With those apps I would just turn off my wifi or go airplane mode.

Damn that a very good question. People might not realize but if you log on to your phone and use google map or apple map it does track your location history as long as you give it permission. So if your SO ever ask to look at your location history for the date of XXX she can track you. You can always try to test some fake GPS app and fake your GPS location. Turn the fake GPS location on that you are at work or somewhere else nearby when you are out having fun than turn it the fake GPS off when you are done and at a safe location.

my friend had similar problem. his wife didn't let him to go out for coffee. her logic was like "if you find time for social, come home early and take care of your kids"
fortunately, he worked in an office with no cell signals. he made use of the fact. and he puts his phone in airplane mode whenever he went out.

your situation might be different. and she's asking for some emergency situation which I think BS. if she breaks up or when she was alone, who she was supposed to contact in emergency? 911 is for her.

anyway, I suggest you get an iPad or whatever with cell signal. leave your phone in your location. bring out your iPad and use it as your communication device.

Good question. You can’t just leave ur phone on airplane mode the whole time. You need ur phone on to get the green light from POs to go up.

Solution might be to get a second phone. But u would have to rebuild ur rep from scratch with a new number. And hiding a second phone would be another issue.

[@booby_lover] Didn\'t think of telling her no? WTF dude you got to deal with these things  before you loose control.

I told her no for several months, but she was very insistent.  She prevailed over our son who has moved to a different state.  We take vacations together in foreign countries, so the request is not quite as intrusive on privacy as it might at first seem without all of the context.

[@VZSlayer] anyway, I suggest you get an iPad or whatever with cell signal. leave your phone in your location. bring out your iPad and use it as your communication device.

I will investigate that! (Would it involve getting a google phone number or equivalent?) Thanks...

[@littlefinger] Solution might be to get a second phone. But u would have to rebuild ur rep from scratch with a new number. And hiding a second phone would be another issue.

Ya, perhaps.  I had a second phone but she insisted I discontinue using it saying it costs too much.  On reputation, I presume I could prevail over the orgs by telling them that I had a second phone or a new phone.

SO is a germophobe as well as a penny-pincher.  I need to get bug shots and wear face diapers or else.  She has a 1950s outlook on life and morality. The SO finding a previously forbidden and unexplainable second phone now would probably result in the "big D" scenario and massive disruption of my life.

(Still, a second phone would seem to be a perfect solution, if I could just assure myself that I would at all times be absolutely careful with it.)

[@jscool] Is it an app? Or is it on her phone as well?

It is an app called FindMe which is apparently a product from a third party app developer.  Basically everyone in your FindMe group installs it and then you all can track each other maybe so long as the cell phone(s) is(are) turned on, etc.

[@jscool] Something similar happened to me a long time ago..: I remember I just put my phone into airplane mode.

[@jscool] My last job place an app on my work phone. I did a lot of driving in my last job. In my downtime I would sneak an appt with a kgirl. With those apps I would just turn off my wifi or go airplane mode.

I need to experiment with those ideas and verify if they work 100%.

At the moment, I have more or less run out of inventive excuses (practically none btw) that allow me to visit random apartment complexes and homes.  So more recently I have been choosing primarily AAMPs which are within a few minutes/ walking distance of a mall or shopping center.  This has introduced some planning and logistical challenges.  My somewhat contrived cover story is that I am shopping and I leave my phone in the car.  I leave the phone on and place it under a seat where it won't tempt a robber to do a smash and grab.  SO is a paranoid fanatic, son ot certain how long I can get away with that.  Also it limits my AAMP choices considerably.  This may be a short term solution at least until I can figure out my next move.

If you're using Android there's enough GPS spoofers to get around it, just might be inconvenient to remember when to toggle it on/off unless you're particularly saavy with setting up macros or whatever they call them on Android.

For iOS either way you're going to have to have a cell plan. If you're on a family plan you might be able to convince your penny-pinching wife that its necessary for the iPad IIRC its not too much o activate cell on iPad that it might be innocuous enough to her on the bills.

Once you have cellular service activated on the iPad, just use TextNow, its free, totally anonymous, and true burner numbers that auto recycles if you fail to use it for 7 days straight.

A lot of people monger with Google Voice but I feel Google already knows too much about me. Even if you primarily call PO's GV is already known to saves a transcript for VM its not hard to imagine they save a transcript of your calls that might be vaguely mentioned in the EULA while claiming its only used for machine learning purposes.

can you uninstall and reinstall the app?

uninstall before you go for urgent place - if wife calls, you can text back saying no signal, can call later.

reinstall once you are done.

[ Last edited by  gm001noxl2 at 20-3-2023 16:24 ]

[@gm001noxl2] which cell carrier are you using?

T-Mobile.  And good question.  T-Mobile signal can be weak at times indoors.  It does not seem to work well with heavy concrete ceilings and roofs.

In theory, this could be used as the basis of an excuse, although it's so easy to use that I have been keeping it in my pocket for the moment, so as not to over-use it... but thanks for ferreting it out anyways for discussion purposes.

[@sexyloser] If you're using Android there's enough GPS spoofers to get around it, just might be inconvenient to remember when to toggle it on/off unless you're particularly saavy with setting up macros or whatever they call them on Android.

Regrettably I am an iphone user.

[@sexyloser] For iOS either way you're going to have to have a cell plan. If you're on a family plan you might be able to convince your penny-pinching wife that its necessary for the iPad IIRC its not too much o activate cell on iPad that it might be innocuous enough to her on the bills.

Ya.  Although things are so ridiculous at home that I would probably just go with getting the iPad and then activating the cell phone with a different provider and paying for it out of a slush fund.  SO is tech savvy so whatever I do I need to be careful as she eventually invades and grabs stuff on me (everything but communications with others, by mutual agreement).

[@sexyloser] Once you have cellular service activated on the iPad, just use TextNow, its free, totally anonymous, and true burner numbers that auto recycles if you fail to use it for 7 days straight.

Aha, I saw another discussion about that somewhere recently.  The problems are (1) I am forgetful and I would probably lose the burner number quite frequently; and (2) I travel internationally often (including cruises, with generally reprehensible internet, even well into the starlink age) and it would probably be difficult to maintain even if I did not forget.

[@sexyloser] A lot of people monger with Google Voice but I feel Google already knows too much about me. Even if you primarily call PO's GV is already known to saves a transcript for VM its not hard to imagine they save a transcript of your calls that might be vaguely mentioned in the EULA while claiming its only used for machine learning purposes.

I probably should consider Google Voice.  I once had a Google Voice when it first came out but it was a luxury since I had a biz phone at the time.  I'm sure my old Google Voice is gone.  Yes, I am somewhat apprehensive about privacy but I was such a nobody in my prime that hopefully I am that much more of a nobody now that I am retired and relatively uninteresting to the Chinese.  And yes, "I hope" are famous last words...

One thing that I have not completely explored yet is getting an alternate cell phone ID chip.  As I understand it, I take the existing ID chip out (I only have one physical ID) and put another ID chip in, to become a different phone.  This is only good as a burner phone substitute and does not solve the problem of faking the GPS location nor explaining semi-random blackouts.  Another drawback of the separate ID chip is that I would need to carry the ID chip not in use around and keep it safe (although I believe that this is actually a recoverable problem, just go back to the provider, show ID, and get a replacement ID chip (not verified)).

[ Last edited by  mr_tux at 20-3-2023 17:10 ]

Get a new SO that isn’t controlling you

Get a new SO that isn’t controlling you

That depends on how your tracker app works. If its SIM-based (rare?) changing the SIM card works. TBH I'm not entirely sure why people are suggesting airplane mode because that only works if its strictly a geo-fencing based tracker. All tracker apps that I've seen is GPS-based and for iOS the only way to turn that off is to disable Privacy -> Location Services (which shuts down all location services entirely.) Airplane mode does not automatically disable Location Services.

IIRC IOS groups location services by 3 different systems - Accelerometer which is hardware based that can accurately count number of steps you took, what direction you're moving, how much you moved, etc. EVEN WHEN POWERED DOWN because of the M-series chip! (AFAIK most tracker apps don't bother with it, though, fortunately), Geo-Fencing which is WiFi/celltower connection-based, and GPS which is satellite based.

EDIT: Here's an article that explains why airplane mode doesn't work more comprehensively: https://www.businessinsider.com/ ... e-turn-off-location

There's another, albeit indirect method which most websites use and conceivably incorporated by tracker apps is your internet/website access and some kind of identifier. For an unjailbroken iPhone websitse and apps typically only have access to the advertising ID. (For a tracker app, Could be SIM, could be the device IMEI, could be the advertising ID, etc. depending on how intrusive they go) and this probably bypasses the "Location Services" privacy control.


I think given all your constraints, the slush fund approach is a better bet. If you're doing that, just get a cheap old school flip phone. You honestly only need texting capability anyway. Depending on your job you can claim its a work phone if its ever found but probably a good idea to never bring that phone into your home.

[ Last edited by  sexyloser at 20-3-2023 07:30 ]

I turn off Find My (apple's tracking app) when I don't want to be tracked. It shares your location with people you specify (friends and family).

That stops location data being shared with others. Apple, Google, your carrier, and random other apps still get info about where you are. If you really want limit your location data from being shared, keep your phone at home and take a burner phone with you.

Searched iOS App Store just now and got no direct hits on "find me".  Are you sure it isn't the built-in app "Find My"?

[edit:  tried searching "findme" instead and got a hit on "Find Me" by Angelica Maksumova.  If that's it, ignore the rest of this.  AppStore search is really wonky!]

If it is, you can switch which iDevice it's using for location reporting.  I had an iPad mini along with my iPhone, and when I wanted not to be found, but not to raise suspicion by turning off location sharing, I switched FindMy to using my iPad location, left it somewhere innocuous, and switched Find My back to my iPhone later when I remembered.

That was a while back, not sure it works just that way any more, but check it out.

[ Last edited by  Valida at 20-3-2023 20:33 ]

First off I would like to say I am happy and proud that all us monger can all united and work together to fix a real monger problem that can affect us all one day.


"One thing that I have not completely explored yet is getting an alternate cell phone ID chip.  As I understand it, I take the existing ID chip out (I only have one physical ID) and put another ID chip in, to become a different phone.  This is only good as a burner phone substitute and does not solve the problem of faking the GPS location nor explaining semi-random blackouts.  Another drawback of the separate ID chip is that I would need to carry the ID chip not in use around and keep it safe (although I believe that this is actually a recoverable problem, just go back to the provider, show ID, and get a replacement ID chip (not verified))."

Sadly replacing the ID chip wouldn't work. The reason why this plan will not work is because replacing your SIM card will turn off your location on FINDME app completely till you put the SIM card back in. You might as well just put your phone on airplane mode since it will just do the same thing. If at any point your SO is randomly checking FINDME app and realize you disappear from it completely, that will just raise lot of red flag for her.

I really think spoofing your location with a fake GPS app is the best way to go. This way if your SO check the FINDME app see will see you are at a fake location instead and you can still use your phone with all it function working. Of course the flaw with this plan is that if your SO use FINDME app to surprise visit you at the fake location that is shown and can't find you, than that a problem.

Convince your wife that your job gave you a second phone to be on call. Like if you were a doctor, contractor, high level manager, or even full time WFH jobs companies will give them a phone so they are easily reachable.

I’m glad my SO doesn’t care this much about me, my phone is full of filth.