To measure dick size, you will need a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a soft pencil (preferably 2B), and a note pad.
First, you measure the hypotenuse of your bell end with the protractor, noting down whether or not you have an acute or obtuse angle. Then you multiply this number by the cosine of the girth (measured by taking the compass, placing the needle on the top of the eye and measuring around by 360 degrees). Once you have completed that, you need to subtract the speed of train A traveling from Shenzen where it meets MTR train B at TST. Then divide by pi, but not cream pie. Write this number down in your note pad.
Finally, you discard your note pad, and place the base of your ruler roughly against your dick, or balls, or in the airspace below your balls, so that the tip of your dick is parallel with the 8 inch mark on the ruler. HURRAH! You now have a huge dick, 8 inches, good for you!
When WGs tell you that you are a big boy, you can nod sagely at them, confident that you have science to back you up.