When I was young I was a chronic masturbator and didn't lose my virginity until 23. I think that this may have permanently decreased the sensation in my penis. I'm now in my mid-30s and continue to battle desensitization. It's an ongoing problem.

I've tried literally dozens of condoms from .001 to small to large to form-fitting to textured to latex to polyurethane to using lube inside and out, etc.

Nothing works. 90% of the time I lose my erection or I pump away until I'm bored or tired because I just can't feel much of anything. The other 10% of the time with a condom is ok, but this only happens when the situation is optimal (haven't had sex in ages, not nervous, very horny, using my favorite condoms and not some generic Durex).

In fact, depending on the girl, I might not even feel much of anything even when going raw because different girls have different textures inside and different levels of tightness. Ones that are smooth and tight do little for me.

And to prove its not a psychological thing, I can't finish or stay hard with any condom even when I use a pocket pussy that normally always gets me off (and quickly) when I'm not using a condom. I'm in the comfort of my own home - but I just. Can't. Feel. Hardly. Anything.

And like real pussies, not all pocket pussies can get me off. Ones with a more "natural" texture and tight ones don't do anything for me, despite them getting lots of great reviews. I have to go for ones with a more aggressive texture and larger cavity.

So... does anyone else have this problem? I don't use my hands to masturbate anymore - haven't for a decade. I only use a pocket pussy with lube, but I seem to have a permanent loss of sensation.

Anyone else in the same boat and how did you deal with it?

Sorry, not sure how to reply directly to a rating that is a comment.

The porn thing is a good thought, but I've tried numerous times with different condoms, masturbating with a pocket pussy and watching the porn I like. It's actually an initial test I do to see if I might like the condom or not. The result is the same. I feel like I have to work 100x as hard and really really REALLY concentrate to finish even with a toy if I've got a condom on. I've definitely lost erections before with certain condoms while doing this, something that never happens if I don't have a condom.

I know you said it isn't a psychological thing..  however I somehow feel it still has an impact for your problem on a deeper level, whatever it is that is causing the problem.

Have you tried gradually building up to the event.. perhaps don't cum for a period of time , for example, no sex/pocket puss for 1.5 weeks for a start, and then see if u can climax like a 13yr old boy with his first playboy mag. Thereafter try one week, and then 5 days, 3.. and so on .

Hope you find the root of your problem. You might even want to consider seeking professional help if it really is affecting your sex life that significantly. Good luck!

Greetings, Bro.

A commonplace issue. Do NOT worry. Stress is a major erection killer.
Are you Cut [circumsized]? This makes a significant difference.

Natural male [un-cut]: foreskin shields [protects] the glans penis [dick head]. Hence,
un-cut men tend to have more to significantly more sensation.

Cut males: the glans penis [dick head] is banging around against your undies,
bluejeans or whatever. Over time, the superficial skin layer [the outermost
layer you see] will slightly "thicken" to protect the bare glans penis as the foreskin
is no longer present to protect [thank your well-meaning Parents]. Translation:
your sensitivity decreases. The range of decrease varies from 10% to 95%.
It is what it is.

Depending on your perceived % of decrease, condoms are not your friend.
[Disease issues are another matter] A suitable condom that allows great
sensation for a male with significantly decreased sensation simply does not exist.

Solutions Step One:
1. self-masterbation [wacking off] at 1 episode per week, MAXIMUM.
If a WG does the deed, great. As much as you want.
2. BBBJ by a WG are fine. As much as you want.
3. STOP THE PORN! It is not your friend.
4. STOP the Pocket Pussy! This is NOT helping.
5. NEVER NEVER see a shrink [psychiatrist or psychologist] for this inconvenience.
They will very successfully fuck with your head, place you on meds that screw-up
your erections, frequently on a permanent basis. They never mention this trivial
factoid . . . woops.

Solutions Step Two:
1. Tantric AND Lingham Massage will slowly increase your glans penis [dick head]
sensation. This takes time and CANNOT be rushed.
2. This method requires you to be PASSIVE [critical] and allow yourself to be
served. It is important you remain passive, try to relax and enjoy the different
sensations. Sometimes you spontaneously explode, sometimes you do not.
Both are normal. Ejaculation is not the primary purpose.
3. Meditation will greatly assist as (1) it calms the frantic mind and (2) allows the
mind-body highway to reconnect. Simple meditation [nothing fancy] will do
the trick. This takes TIME and cannot be rushed. The longterm benefit is
you will experience sensations you never thought possible.

HKG Problem:
To date, I have not found a COMPETENT and reliable provider for Tantric and
Lingham. The latter is far far more important. The below is my HKG experience,
designed to save you $$$$.

https://forum.sex141.com/eforum/ ... &extra=page%3D1


Positives:
Once you experience top shelf Lingham, an addiction [of sorts] happens as you
discover sensations you never realised were possible. It will literally "blow your
mind."

Some women are similar with Yoni [their version on Lingham] and/or yoga. When
they discover the sensation heights possible, that is all they want. You lose.


Summary: this is a common occurence amoungst otherwise normal "cut" males.
If you have sons, do NOT circumsize them. The "standard issue medical reasons"
cited are rubbish.


Remember, this is fixable!

Whilst GiGi is still around, the service is not the same as described in the Archive Posts.
The weblink relays my recent experience with her.

A caution is advised for those who like Viagra and/or Cialis and/or other similar Rxs.

Rx = prescription medicine   ED = erectile dysfuntion

1. If you are using Rx nitrates [typically for heart issues] and also using an ED Rx, you
are at risk for experiencing a myocardial infarction [heart attack] whilst "in the saddle."
This is clearly listed in the Rx package insert "fine print" that no one reads.

2. Whilst every male is different [genetics, etc.], a commonly heard complaint
is "I must now use Viagra/Cialis/etc. or I cannot get an erection."

This can occur after 1 pill or 20+ pills. There is no clearly defined number. However,
once it happens . . . you are typically stuck using the Rx for life. The options at that
point are: (1) permanent prothesis [always erect, uncomfortable], (2) inflatable
prothesis [very popular with Arab Shieks who have large harums], etc. Be advised,
the quality of the erection is never never quite the same.

The non-Rx methods [herbal, acupuncture, stress reduction, etc.] are better as no
permanent after effects. What works will vary from male to male [large genetic
variances here]. For instance, some love "Horney Goat." YMMV

Fyi, pink Himalayian salt is also an erection killer!

Keep plugging!

Greetings, iamtrout.

The above assumes thereare no underlying major medical issues and
you are under 100 years of age.

Major medical causes of ED in males:
1. Diabetes [sugar disease, with or without insulin requirement]
2. Hypertension [elevated blood pressure]. The Rx are notorious
for generating ED issues.
3. Alcohol. Beer is notorious for causing ED issues in some men.
Wine or Russian vodka are better options.

Caution: alcohol + Durian = death

4. Ethnicity. There is huge varience by genetic make-up as to what
causes ED and how to treat it. What works for one ethnic group
may/may not work for another one.

Fyi, women also get a varient of ED.

In Summary:
Try the suggestions and keep this thread posted for positive and negative
results.

The Monger Community needs you Bro' to be in best form!!

Keep plugging!

In response to Vivante, this is a physiological change which
is very different from an addiction or psychological need.

When this change occurs, most men are typically stuck using
the Rx for life. YMMV

I would suggest also trying condoms from https://www.myonecondoms.com/

you'll have to measure and get the correct size but they are better than most generic sizing

Lastly, like a few bros mentioned, i would give viagra a try. Def talk to your doctor first. It'll help you stay erect much longer and then you can test if you can

Sex isn't a straightforward thing, and EVERYone has problems with it of one kind or another. We'd hardly be human if we didn't!

Erection/orgasm issues are common with men. Women too except for the erection part. Some women have a devil of a time getting over the nut. And for many of them, feeling relaxed and comfortable is important. Communication as well--and women often communicate non-verbally. For them it's a more nuanced situation...I guess, because I'm male.

You should let us know if you're circumsized or not, as that can make a difference. Definitely take a vacation from the porno. Porn is like a marketing campaign for sex. It's PR spin. And masturbating to it, while fun, can play with a man's brain: you're always in control with that remote control, skip forward to your favorite part, and without even noticing it you might be using the "Death Grip"...just give it a rest. Avoid orgasms for awhile. Let your subconscious calm down.

WGs want you to get off, compensate, leave, then return later. There's a time factor--especially in Hong Kong. But they're still women. You can play with them. And this is something I've found women like: playing, exploring, light stroking. They dig it. It's not all about the "mighty battering ram"...which is what a lot of porn focuses on. Take the attention off your penis if you can--don't worry, they'll get to it later!

It's easier to say than do, but if you try to shift the focus more towards the experience, it will help. Yes: your dick and your orgasm are important. That'll happen. But try to enjoy the other things that are going on. Hopefully you're with someone who gets it (repeat visits are a plus).

It's not an exact science. The idea is to expand your sensual horizons and, in the process, help you to relax. If you're mid-30s and reasonably fit, things should improve. Don't expect instant results, but stick with it.

Sounds good?

Sex God Indeed, JTB clearly knows his business and the title is not merely decoration but a distinct validation of wisdom.

I do concur, I focus on the girl's pleasure and making her sufficiently comfortable to orgasm, this will do wonders for your own mechanism. Clearly there is more to it than the physical sensation on the organ and any visual stimulation you get from a video. There is an emotional relationship with the girl (even if you only met her 10 minutes prior) and understanding that YOU are making someone else orgasm and then she does with attendant the noises, contractions, and occasional squirting , as distinct from watching some guy in a video making a chick in a video orgasm .

THIS will make you come . As JTB says, focus on the experience.

Repeat visits with the same girl (if compatible) will increase the intensity of the process for both participants. There are some "lifers" I have seen regularly (2-3x monthly) for several years, we both enjoy it and it is very casual, much like a long term girlfriend . To get to this point takes time, money and patience.

Keep on mongering

[ Last edited by  gwailoplayer at 30-9-2020 19:02 ]

havent had a problem so far and i've been through a fair number of girls in my life.

Had the majority in DG.

do you go to massage places and get HJs ?

yes I do experience it at times... but I’m sure it’s psychological for my case... if my partner literally gives ZERO GFE and starts acting like a dead fish, I tend to lose interest, and all the excitement and sensations are off the window in an instant...

I loose my erection as soon as a girl takes a condom out. Thats why I only fuck bareback. I ask upfront if they do bbfs. If not, I leave.

@BodDavies: For doing bb since 25 years now, I got only gonorrhea once - 10 years ago.
I do a complete checkup once a year and HIV, syph. & hep. C 2-3 times a year. All negative.