You're in good company here missP
there's not a ... um ... "person" here who isn't doing something they would get harshly judged for by many if not the majority of their social circle, if that social circle ever found out. With very real consequences of rejection, loss of assets, income, and for some even the threat of violence in some form.
And yet, we do all share a certain freedom - that freedom that can only be gained after having reclaimed a part of ourselves that we hid away precisely because in our childhood we learned to survive by avoiding criticism and punishment from those around us.
Being true to ourselves and our choices, and still respectful to others and their choices, is a challenge for sure. But a worthwhile one, and one that can only be done by setting a courageous example.
Hang in there girl. You're winning respect by standing up for yourself respectfully but without compromise. You're in the company of a lot of dicks here ... but you knew that already