School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
  
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
  
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
   
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.   
  
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.  
  
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
  
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
  
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
  
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
  
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
  
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

  some quotes which ring true in real life - scary!

Most of these things sound true bro - so what's the joke?

very true indeed....