I phoned home today..
this is how it went
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,
Hello?
Hi honey.
This is Daddy.
Is Mummy near the phone?
No, Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.
After a brief pause,
I say,
But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.
Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,
Right now..
Brief Pause.
Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs
And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mummy
That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.
Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.
A few minutes later
Then my daughter comes back to the phone.
I did it, Daddy.
And what happened, honey?
Well, Mummy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
And now she isn't moving at all!
Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?
He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.
He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
And into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water
Last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.
Long Pause
Longer Pause
Even Longer Pause
Then I say,
Swimming pool? ...........
Is this bolton 4222222?
she says
No, I think you have the wrong number........
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