I am curious to know your reason why you punt when you are in a relationshipb or married? No judgement, so please express your opinion

Being together does not mean a happy relationship and definitely does not mean happy sex life.

Since we had a kid the sex life got non existent for many reasons, she got older and bigger and very much less interested in a sex life. She told me that i can go punting if i want but she don't want to know details. So in the end i had to go back punting to get something at all and i have needs in that field, then i even can get the type of girl of my dreams that i really want to play with. We both don't want to leave the marriage due to that we have kids an a stable economy together, a quite big factor i would say. I had previous relationships with both young and old girls, stunners and no stunners, and i know they never last no matter of looks or intelliigence or anything, i always get tired of the person eventually and same time as i hate the loneliness of beeing without a relationship. I don't want to live in self denial that everything is perfect.

Hope this gains some understanding of a married mans life.

Curious to know if your wife wanted to find a sex partner because you can’t satisfy her sexually, would that be ok with you, as long as she spared you the detail?

What you don't know will not hurt you.  Hong Kong has these "dance clubs",   I wonder why??
I hear, in Japan, couples just outsource sex life after certain age.  Not sure if it's true.  But can see how that makes sense.  And how it may even improve marriage

[ Last edited by  AMH at 24-8-2022 19:33 ]

A long post from an unmarried/single man who is new to this world just felt like sharing.

I haven't been in a relationship in 10 years, in these 10 years I have had many partners from different parts of the world (dating apps, meeting women whilst travelling) and my sex life has been amazing in my home country and here in HK.

Having said the above, when I first arrived in HK year 2018 I learned that prostitution here is legal, it intrigued me and I visited to go have a look at what life is like, I was astonished by what I saw, how systematic and safe it seemed to be for the women and men involved.

I was very tempted to have my first ever experience with a prostitute just to understand what this world is about, but didn't go to one with the thought "why should I pay for something that I get for free?" also, I'm always broke lol.

Why do men that have wives and girlfriends go to prostitutes?
Although I kinda understood what and why these reasons were the base of these reasons from all sides seemed men naturally can't be satisfied with one partner, isn't this true?

I came back to Hong Kong this year after being stuck in my home county for 2+ years this June and HK isn't as vibrant as it was in the dating world.

So for the first time ever this June, I visited a prostitute, and I am hooked! It's just so much easier to get yourself satisfied instead of endless chatting, coming up with clever conversations, planning dates, giving most of your precious time for maybe a good time, and not having access to your FWB when you want to be with her.

I've only been mongering 3 times, all JSL twice with Prada (I'm a booty guy) and once with another Thai on the same floor.

It was one of the best sex of my life with Prada and the other one was not that far behind, It's made me realize how easy and effortless it can be and I'm looking for more adventures in this world.

thanks to all the brothers for the suggestions, I will contribute as much as I can too.

sorry for the long post

My situation might be a bit unique as I was in a Long Distance with my girlfriend and eventually ended up punting. I remember my first punting being absolutely shit and didn't go back for a few months (still in LDR) and I tried another Walk-up that turned out to be really nice and another and another. I was punting every other day after work and would jump on the daily call with my girlfriend later on. There was also this thrill of discovering a girl that just might be the next best one.

Eventually my girlfriend came to stay in HK and the sex life was great in the beginning because so much was pent up. However, 3 times a day turned to 3 times a week and while I enjoyed all the dating activities with her - I missed the fact that I could fuck:
- a tattooed blonde Asian on Monday,
- a Milfy WG on Wednesday,
- a petite spinner with mad BJ skills on Friday, and
- a completely new face on Sunday.

All the punting had become a really expensive jack off session for me and I would do it when I anticipated that I may not be getting some action from my girlfriend that day. Heck, I'd even do it twice in a day.

After we broke up - the habit stayed and I am not embarrassed to admit that I was addicted to this shit. If there was a spa 'for guys' - I'd have thrown my CV right in lmao!

I managed to regain control and only punt occasionally now - I do still go on a spree and see 3 WGs in a day sometimes but that is extremely rare.

Off-topic, but how do some of these WGs have boyfriends and manage to keep their a work a secret. . . and if these guys do know, then WTF!?

[ Last edited by  MrButtons at 30-8-2022 01:22 ]

Curiosity
Skills
Different face
Different boobs
Kinky stuff your SO wouldn't do
Kinky stuff your SO wouldn't do to you but you want to

In a long term relationship but not married. Sex has been dwindling over time but not for trying from my side. Maybe I’m not doing enough to make her be in the mood for it. I used to punt occasionally but only with walkups near work or before/after meeting up with friends. Did not punt whilst in this relationship until recently. Lack of sex is the biggest issue for me now.

Self gratification is good to release some steam but sometimes you just want to feel and be with a women. Even better if they offer LKF or DFK, BBBJ’s for that GFE feeling. Walkups also have that sense of excitement. Just like a box of mixed candy, each bite can be a surprise. Sex with WG with different body shape to GF, different nationality, skills is doing it for me now.

Recent punts have been so good but I am wary of this becoming a habit, and expensive one at that, as I have WG’s on my list now to try from 141 reports. In a perverted way I see punting as a means to release my frustration so that there is less friction in my relationship. Will still be trying at home to initiate sex with GF though. Maybe she has someone on the side ? I don’t see or feel any changes on that front, apart from lack of sex, but maybe I’m blind to it. WG’s offer that anonymity and satisfaction of sexual needs. For me it is just that and nothing more.

I hate to be cliche but the saying is absolutely true: even if you have steak every night, sometimes you crave a hamburger

I ask myself this question every time I knock on the door of a provider's 141 "office" or hotel room and wait the 5- 25 seconds(*) for her to open, particularly with a new one where I haven't seen her before and wonder what she will look like relative to any photos posted.

I never really have any original answers, and can only relate to what most others say:

want to see new faces and bodies - the genetic differences argument - men create millions of sperm every day and need to spread their "seeds", whereas women are born with finite (several hundred) eggs and stay with one person

they will do things my wife won't - even asking for some things may be damaging to the relationship, my wife is very traditional and conservative (and I like it this way), and this extends to sex


* two of my regulars never give me a chance to knock. At the appointed time they watch the monitors and as I approach they simply open the door.

Keep on mongering

I am single but I have always been in love. Once I was in love with a woman who didn't love me. Every time I texted "I love you" and she texted back "I know". This was not a joke. I even gave her a mug that had "I love you" "I know" printed on it. She looked at it and didn't smile. She didn't take the mug home. Then when I texted "I love you" there was no answer. Just two blue ticks. After a while the ticks stopped turning blue.

I loved her so much that I decided to abstain from sex, including self gratification. It lasted 1000 days. It's pointless. She didn't know about this. She didn't abstain from sex. Just not with me. Still I became what people refer to as asexual. Other people self-harm by cutting themselves. I do it by not having sex. After these 1000 days, I stopped texting her "I love you". Not that she noticed anyway.

I love receiving massage because it is the only chance for me to get any human touch. The way she presses on your spine, or spreads your buttock cheeks, or carelessly brushes her thigh against your arm. Sometimes with oxytocin swimming in your blood, you may momentarily experience a glimpse of what resembles love. That is why I punt.

Once, I was in a spa called Serenity. I was taken to a room by a girl, who then went outside. I showered and proned naked on the massage table. A misunderstanding must have happened, because the girl never came back. Time flowed passed. I was lying down thinking about my whole life up to this point. What got me into this situation? I got dressed and walked outside. Girls were chatting. Turned out the girl was called into another room and forgot to tell others that I was there. They asked me to go back in and someone will serve me. I politely declined.

That day, walking about the mean streets of TST, unmassaged, was the loneliest day of my day.

“Wary of this becoming a habit”, heh.

There’s no habit here, and no chance of you becoming “addicted” to this behavior.

Like Richard Pryor says (or said): “I have been sniffing cocaine for 15 years, I can stop anytime I want. No, I’m not addicted.”

(closer to 20 years for me, girls not cocaine)

Keep on mongering

In a stable relationship but the main point for me punting is the thrill of meeting someone new and being able to strike a good rapport without the effort of taking the girl out, making her happy, getting presents or buying expensive dinners. While I love my girlfriend, there is no way she'll be happy to find out some of the shit I do with WG to which I know I can just pay them and know there won't be anything to worry about once you're out the door.

When I first arrived in HK, I knew nobody and never heard of punting before but a random google here and google there brought me to this forum in 2012. I thank those at the beginning who created this place where I felt I could belong in a  strange new city I'm happy to have called home for the past 10+ years

I'm in a weird limbo. I actually don't have sex with anyone besides my wife, but I'm paying for masterbation in a since. I don't kiss them, allow them to touch me or see my privates.

I pay them to suck/lick my feet while I jerk myself under a towel. I do enjoy having other girls do it rather than my wife (extreme fetish) and I know it's still cheating since I will never mention it to my wife. Trying to slow down but urge pops up a lot especially if I don't make out with my wife.

I wonder, in your situation, did punting make it less interesting to have sex with your partner?   Awhile ago an older colleague said to my younger friend who is getting married:  congratulations... but no more blow jobs.

George Carlin once said that men don't care about women being ugly, fat, bitchy or even short. All they care about is old... or new.

Years ago when I found out the Tiger Woods was banging hookers despite having a ridiculously hot wife, I couldn't understand, but now I do. My own wife would be 9.5/10 by Hong Kong WG standards, even in her current age, early 30s. I have yet to bang a WG who is more attractive than her overall. But that doesn't really matter. It's the novelty factor.

Also, my wife doesn't do massages lol

It's probably because of the sex drive. Some men are content with watching porn or not having sex at all, but some men feel entitled and always want to try new things. It's clear from the replies that there are men who can easily hook up with women from all over and men who have 9.5/10 wives, but still punt.

A king cannot only have 1 wife. A woman lets her man see other men keeps the relationship happy. As long as he supports her and the children what is the issue? He may leave her for the 2nd wife if she makes a big fuss. Only in the west with 50% divorce rape laws its uncommon. It is quite common for kings like us to have concubines in history.

@toey_toad [url=https://forum.sex141.com/eforum/viewpro.php?uid=267690]

There are plenty of happy marriages. I would venture to guess that most happily married are not hanging out in a forum devoted to punting/mongering and of those that do they are exactly keen on letting random inter-netters know about their marital bliss.

To address the original question:

Reasons that someone may punt/monger while in a relationship

1. the partner does not engage in a particular sexual activity
   
2. partner does not engage in sexual activity frequently enough
   
3. desire to "try something different"
   
   
   
   • different look
     
   • different age
     
   • different gender
     

A relationship, especially marriage, is more than the sex. One can be happy in a relationship/marriage yet still desire something that the relationship/marriage doesn't provide. There is no exact analogue or metaphor that I can think of at this moment but the food example comes close. Does eating food not cooked by one's partner mean that one is unhappy in the relationship? Not necessarily. There are a variety of reasons to eat other foods.

I think what causes people to think of this question is the unrealistic expectation that the partner in a relationship be the ALPHA and OMEGA for every emotional and physical desire.