Subject: Newbie...made newbie mistake
bb66
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Post at 28-11-2011 15:53  Profile P.M. 
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Newbie...made newbie mistake

Made a real newbie mistake the other day and want to get your thought on what I should do next - before its too late!

Contacted a freelancer using my normal everyday phone. I knew I shouldn't have done it straight away....but its too late to turn the clock back now.

Didn't end up meeting the girl which was fine but over the weekend got two texts from her seeing if I wanted to meet up. My SO didn't see it but if i have had two texts there will probably be more and there is a fair chance that she will.

Thing is I'm not sure what to do next, any move seems suspicious.

I could just leave it and hope they die off if I don't respond...most likely they will. But imagine getting caught when you knew there was a problem, you'd be kicking yourself for not doing anything about it whilst you had the chance. I don't have the function to block numbers so my options are guard my phone like there is no tomorrow and don't let it out of my sight or change the number. Need an decent excuse for both options!

I can't believe it...just got another one now. I really have an issue here!

What do you think I should do?

[ Last edited by  bb66 at 28-11-2011 16:23 ]

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doghead   29-11-2011 15:15  Acceptance  +1   Time for u to upgrade a new phone with better privacy controls.
Petay_1283   28-11-2011 16:52  Acceptance  +1   duhhhh change the number...
paladin310   28-11-2011 16:34  Acceptance  +1   Umm....change the number?
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reggid
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Post at 28-11-2011 18:04  Profile P.M. 
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reply saying you are nolonger in HK and see if it dies down.......otherwise what the others have said
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DaBestHK
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Post at 28-11-2011 18:12  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 bb66's post

change your number... and spend some money and try to get a nice number like 90908080 or something... and use that as reason to your SO why you're changing numbers... just say new year coming and you want to have good luck.

if you're using an iPhone, there are some tips in this forum on some apps that will block certain numbers from calling or texting and the calls and text will be diverted to a folder and won't show up
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bb66
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Post at 28-11-2011 18:38  Profile P.M. 
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Thanks for the suggestions guys...

I think I'll hold off for a week or so and see if it dies off, otherwise I'll change my number.

Big problem is I really have no good reason to be changing my new number...and that in itself will look fairly suspicious especially as I have been on hyper alert round it over the last few days. Im not in anyway superstitious so the lucky number thing would be a red flag in itself I'll have to come up with another good reason!

Kicking myself for being such an idiot now!
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twiceAweek
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Post at 28-11-2011 18:46  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 bb66's post

Did you ask her (nicely) not to text or call you ?

if not, try doing that and tell her you will contact her when you can (but it's inconvenient for her to contact you) ... if she wants something out of all this then she'll do as you ask

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ramont   29-11-2011 07:37  Acceptance  +1   that's what I was thinking
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bb66
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Post at 28-11-2011 18:51  Profile P.M. 
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Yeah, first time I replied and asked nicely if she wouldn't text me on this number as it was my work number (obv not work number). Said I'd send her a text from my other numbernext time I was around. Didn't seem to have much effect.

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ramont   29-11-2011 07:38  Acceptance  +1   Go ahead & send the SMS with the other phone. That way she has something else to ...
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ramont
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Post at 29-11-2011 07:40  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #6 bb66's post

I got cut off in my reply, so I will repeat here.

Send her a text from your mongering phone, because right now the only reference that is fresh is so it's easy for her to just hit reply. If you give her another number to reply to, she might keep texting, but at least it will be the right number. Don't wait til you are ready, because she is trying to earn money and will try to find customers when things are slow.
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Frenchexpat (Faites chier la vache)
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Post at 29-11-2011 08:14  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #7 ramont's post

Agree with Ramont. I had the same issue and she was sending me mails every other day, added her on a special list on my bb (the phone would not ring buzz or anything when it cam from her) and after 1 month replied with a fake name saying I just had the line and wasnt sure what she wanted (using very classical english, no texting), worked like a charm.
As you can see, I did the same mistake, dont kick yourself for this but make sure it doesnt get out of control!
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mrfast
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Post at 29-11-2011 09:20  Profile P.M. 
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Why dont you just call your operator and put the number on a blocklist? There are also apps that do call blocking.
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yazoo
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Post at 29-11-2011 12:51  Profile P.M. 
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Then again, you could also call her with your mongering phone, set up an appointment, see her in person and request that she use your mongering phone, fuck her silly, and then tell us all about it here.
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dubleoohseven
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Post at 29-11-2011 12:59  Profile P.M.  Yahoo!
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The only thing that will work for sure is to change your number or have your phone suffer an unfortunate accident.  Otherwise you'll be rushing to it every time a message comes in.  Get rid of the fucking thing so you can sleep at night.  

Guarding your phone is a big no no ... women aren't stupid.




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bigswingingdik
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Post at 30-11-2011 03:39  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #10 yazoo's post

i think this is the best solution so far!
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DArtagnan (unofficial Mayor of the Forum)
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Post at 30-11-2011 10:16  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 bb66's post

Yup, that's a big newbie mistake

Changing the number is too much hassle, and somewhat suspicious - you'd lose contact with too many friends and contacts, nobody does it.  Very suspicious.

The cat's out of the bag, and she's obviously clumsy, selfish, and inconsiderate of your situation.  You've asked her not to SMS you and she did (immediately) ... I'm sorry to have to give you bad news, but the fact is her behaviour is likely to continue, especially if she thinks there's any possibility she can get something from you.  

Best thing you can do is buy a phone that can block calls for you.  Period.  
Only question is do you want one that'll block calls and save SMS in a private area (Android) or one that just blocks the calls and rejects them?  Ask around.

IF you don't want to buy a new phone, here's a radical approach:  come clean.  
Tell your SO you met someone in a social setting (introduced by a friend, or something), who then took an irrational interest in you, and is now stalking you.  You can get away with this story as a one off, and even get credit for telling her before she found out.  It happens.  And having a stalker who is interested in you might actually make you more attractive to your SO.  It's contrarian.  
But - obviously - it's a story you can only play once, it would be suspicious if you had a string of stalkers, or a new one every weekend.  Use with caution, so much depends on the current level of trust and openness you have with your SO, and on her own level of lying and covering up (which she might accuse you of).  

Oh, and choose your pickups better in future   There ARE girls that respect you are attached, and who are willing to be a 'piece of fun on the side' in your life, don't settle for less.

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bb66   30-11-2011 16:04  Karma  +1   Great suggestion....
mrpekz   30-11-2011 11:30  Acceptance  +1   Nicely put.
Frenchexpat   30-11-2011 11:14  Karma  +1   Totally agree!




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mcmafia09
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Post at 30-11-2011 11:47  Profile P.M. 
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I agree with the "honest" route and say that a girl at bar was playing with your phone and now you can't stop them for texting silly and rediculous prank messages.

But two thumbs up to post #10's approach!
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reffaleno
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Post at 30-11-2011 11:56  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 bb66's post

nice info and nice share

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SEAJ   30-11-2011 13:51  Acceptance  +1   Pls do NOT spam. Realize U're new here and that you do want to get posting cred ...
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bb66
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Post at 30-11-2011 15:52  Profile P.M. 
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So here is what I did....and it worked a treat! Got another text from her...which really pissed me off, she must be desperate!

Anyway, I immediately respond with a message saying:

Sorry this telephone number will no longer be active as of 1st Decmber 2011.

For work related calls you can now reach me on 852 1234 5678 (made this number up)

For personal call please use my new number: (inserted mongering number here)

Thanks...



Within 5 mins had a text on my mongering number and I responded to her straight away. I'll still be super careful with my normal number but fingers crossed I have diverted her.

What the fuck is she doing being so persistent !
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bb66
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Post at 30-11-2011 15:58  Profile P.M. 
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Just to be safe I'm also using one of the suggestions above but with a slightly different approach.

Mentioned that I have been getting some strage texts from a number I don't recognize which are clearly not intended for me.....about meeting up for birthdays and things. The SO said that often happens as the phone companies give you numbers which other people had before.

I said I responded and told then to stop messaging me but they haven't stopped....

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DArtagnan   30-11-2011 23:05  Acceptance  +1   nice. no cover is better than the appearance of normality
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Frenchexpat (Faites chier la vache)
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Post at 30-11-2011 16:21  Profile P.M. 
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Lol so you used a mixed of the ideas! Good to see it worked.

Think for one or two days you should entertain her with the number so she forgets about the other (send her small sms), but not too much or she'll get upset/ excited and if you dont do anything after that start sending messages on theother one... Imho, The best would be to meet her (yeah I know, tough) so that you can confirm the other phone is dead... But thats playing with fire. In any case, keep an eye on the old number for a few months, there's a risk she may use it again and you dont want the so to come accross this.
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bb66
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Post at 30-11-2011 16:47  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #18 Frenchexpat's post

I'm cutting her off now although maybe ill text her once or twice from 'overseas'. If she calls the old number again I'll ditch it permanently but i hope that wont happen. This girl is trouble!

[ Last edited by  bb66 at 30-11-2011 16:50 ]
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DArtagnan (unofficial Mayor of the Forum)
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Post at 30-11-2011 23:07  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #19 bb66's post

go meet her

take an interest in her phone

delete all SMS and call records to your old number, only leaving your m-phone details

of course she has to be distracted with drinks or sex or both while you're doing her phone




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