Here is the situation, i've been in HK for so many years I know what girl are like and I now just want a plain girl to have a steady relationship. As LKF girls are just money leechers tons of girls who have too much time doing nothing and mainly hang out with groups of guys so they can get free food and drinks the whole time, I don't want to have such a leech attached to me eventhough allot of them are hot but crazy and probably a horrible wife. Also I aint that rich to be able to afford such a girlfriend.

Well the thing is now I saw a nice girl who work at a chinese fast food place and kinda feel like I like her allot, she does not look like a model nor rank very high in looks but somehow I feel quite attracted to her, I like the way she smiles and her voice sound like she have a good personality. The place she works at is quite a high paced environment where costumers come and go quite fast and not really a place to be able to have a conversation. She might have seen me or might not even know of my existence since there are so many customers walking by daily, we might had briefly touched each other while she gave me what I ordered but never had a real talk. She works at a Tong Kee Boa which if you know what it its so fast flowing that there is no way you could have a conversation with anybody who works there unless certain time periods there wont be much people but most of the time I go by is pretty crowded. I try time to time eat there instead of taking away so atleast could watchpeople around and her for a bit, but kinda odd to stand there without the food.

I don't want to do anything stalkerish or would creep her out as its a place I walk by daily and kinda hard to avoid if I gave a wrong impression. Should I man up and just go there on a quit moment and ask her on a date, or somehow slip note to her asking her if she want to go out with me. But I feel that is too fast, might be better to find some way to become friends first then the rest, but question is how. Cause allot of stuff are quite creepy, cause once got hit by a young girl I think, she litterally walked up to me introduces herself ask me my name, asked if I was tired or not, then left saying dont forget me, she didnt even exchange contact with me so odd. Well with this impression was hard to forget her but I never seen her after it nor quite really remember her face.

Just out of the blue what approach you recommend for this situation?

I'll just respond in order of what you've said.

"Hitting on a girl" has a negative connotation to it. It implies that the guy's intention isn't entirely pure. You sound like you just want to talk to and meet this girl. That is slightly different but cool.

You don't need to call her a "normal girl." All girls are normal. Don't think of her as any different from anyone else.

"kinda feel like I like her allot" -- Don't jump the gun there. It almost sounds like you've create emotions in your head and heart before even meeting this girl. Unfortunately, a lot of guys who don't have a lot of dating experience do this. Don't create expectations before anything has even happened yet.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, your situation is quite easy. Just go up to her, introduce yourself, say something nice and ask her out. The entire thing will take like five seconds. If she agrees then you're good to go! If she says no, then at least now you know and you can move on to the next girl.

Things are only as difficult as you make them.

What you're really looking to do is establish a connection between you and this girl, to provide the basis for learning more about each other. First, realize that there are 1000 reasons why she might not be interested, ranging from: She has a BF, she's busy, she has things going on in her life, and so on.

With that in mind, I absolutely agree with Freelancer -- you simply make your intentions known. If you have very little experience with this, please face the fact that you may well screw it up the first 20 times you try. Or it might go very well on the first time. There's no way for people on this board to know, and there may be no way for you to know either.

As a slightly slower alternative, you could slip her a note saying you think she's an interesting and beautiful girl, without saying anything more. This let's her know you're interested, but doesn't put her on the spot of having to say yes or no to anything. Sometimes, when you put people on the spot, they just say no (not just girls). But other times, they are just waiting for you to make the first move.

So, one way or another, let me come back to something someone told me once: It isn't a failure if she says no. It's only a failure if you don't try.

Gherk

This may take several days/weeks.  I'd be careful about saying she is beautiful in a note.  Chinese girls are a little weird about that if they think they are "normal" looking.

Next time you see her just give her your best smile and say hello.  The time after that slip her a note saying hello and that you would like to chat with her.  Give her your QQ or WeChat or something.  Not your phone number.  Let this rest for a week or so.

See if she smiles at you the next time even if she doesn't contact you.  Chinese girls can be very slow at this.  Be persistant.  Start talking to her more.  Tell her your name.  It's like twitter.  You have 5 seconds per encounter.

Good luck.

This isn't directed specifically at either of you guys, but is the whole slipping a girl a note thing some sort of Hong Kong cultural thing? Even my gf received a note from a stranger on the MTR and she said it was creepy. In North America, nobody over the age of 10 does that. These little quirks between cultures is fascinating.

Anyways, think of it as two people (you and the girl) meeting for conversation. Don't put pressure on yourself. How do you talk to any other random person? Don't treat her any differently than that. If you can communicate with the waiter/waitress taking your order in the restaurant, then talking to the girl isn't any different.

[ Last edited by  Freelancer at 6-6-2013 21:58 ]

Mmm. Doing things that nobody else does is actually quite helpful in gaining the attention of a girl, at least in my experience

Let's put it this way: If this girl is pretty, she probably gets "hit on" a lot, and will have developed extremely effective defenses against it. But if she's not that pretty, she probably doesn't get "hit on" a lot, and may not quite know how to deal with it. The note allows for a much more considered response by her. That's my thinking, anyway.

I really like kaleu's idea of putting your wechat (or whatever) id into the mix.

Gherk

Well her looks is totally not like any girls who go to lkf she has like zero makeup and looks very plain.

Slipping a note was kinda simple idea as there be no time for her to talk, litterally you get a number and wait for your food but the people behind the counter have to keep moving like crazy to prepare and pack your meal.

Well notice few times she change position with someone so she gave me my order instead of someone else but could been just coincidence.For her to grab the number with a message on it might be interesting approach or atleast the number plus a note, but probably she cant keep the number as they use those as receipts fir their accounting.

But still its kinda odd trying to talk to someone whom you have no connections with. Actually want to have more local friends eventhough I am asian but born in a foreign country, but I hangout with too many expats who only give advice hitting on lkf girls but its easy for them to say as those dudes are Caucasians and anygirl in LKF got their eyes locked on them. Even if they introduce me to a girl there their eyes seem to always look around for a foreigner passing by.

Have once tried walking up to a girl at a nice waterside she was there alone for a long time playing on her phone once I said hi, she freaked out and walked away. Someone how its easier when people introduce you to others in HK then just try to talk to a random local stranger, unless I walk around with a big camera and interview people. Even just talking to a tourist its easier and react more calm than most local HK girls, they are like a very sensitive landmine to me which I got to diffuse first before I can go further.

Dude,

Don't be a stalker, and at the same time be the guy that treats her different.  In a fast paced restaurant sometimes this is simply being the one with the friendly smile for her, as opposed to everyone else just rushing to get in and out.  Next time she serves you, ask her name and give her yours, nothing more.  Make very short and simple jokes about the restaurant/menu/guests.  Go slow, be a regular, and make a point of going well before or well after the rush to increase your chance of getting an extra 15 seconds to chat her up, but above all don't look like you're lurking or stalking.

After a few weeks of this you'll be the friendly guy who's name she knows and who's a regular; you'll get your chance to ask her out for coffee and then you just take it from there.  Good luck!

Don't have much else to add to the great advice above, except maybe:

One very important thing...and maybe this only works for me...or is totally self-evident (it wasn't to me)...though it takes time and practice...is smiling, making long and holding that first eye-contact, and then smiling even more.  You have to look like you're interested, without looking like a desperate maniac.  It's a fine line.

Practice it everywhere...the bookstore, the supermarket, Watson's, wherever you don't give a shit first.  Anywhere you see a nice cute girl, if you're interacting with her....smile, make eye contact and hold that eye contact, then smile wider.  Girls know you're checking them out...and if in that split-second where they know you're assessing her face, you make your smile even wider...well...then they know you're interested.

Its very hard to put into words, and for the record this was not a skill I was particularly good at (nor particularly interested in honing) when younger.  But, you get older, wiser, and--frankly--stop giving a shit about getting turned down...then and only then...the confidence you convey in that moment of first eye-contact becomes everything...

Good luck.

how about doing a goofy face while in eye contact?

@ lazytjai:  I can't tell if you're serious.  But if you are, then you are fail.  No, no goofy faces.  A confident, knowing smile is all that is necessary.  Women are by nature intuitive creatures...start making goofy faces before they know you, and they think you're retarded or something.  Just smile, and be confident.

First, remember that your ONLY goal at the moment is to get the chance to talk to her.  Forget about trying to date her, sleep with her, etc.  This is putting too much pressure on you and is an un reasonable expectation given you've never even said hi yet.  

Next time your there, at the very least, smile nicely and say "Hello, how's your day so far?" or something related to the moment (wow, it's busy here, or, hey, a little quiter than usual.). Something to finally have her look up and acknowledge your presence.  Keep smiling.  That's it for now unless sheprolongs the exchange.

She'll likely realize she's seen you there a lot aswell and this should ease her defenses and willingness to exchange some simple banter.  Or just return the smile.  Enough progress for one day.

Next time, say something else that is relevant to the situation again, or if the vibe is right say "I see you here everyday, you work hard! I am John, what's your name?".  

Once you have her name you MUST act quickly.  Perhaps one final friendly greating.  "morning Stheally" the next time you meet, then go for it.  Have your number written down and ready. She has not time to give you hers, so this is your only option.  Smile again and say your greeting "morning Sally, you seem very cool, I would love to talk you sometime.., buy you coffee after work?  Here is my number and ensure your hand is out with the paper.  Keep smiling.  If she can't react just then becauseause it's too busy say "think about it.  I'll see you next time".

Don't expect a call or SMS yet.  If she does, awesome!!  But don't expect it.  
When you go back next, "so, what time are you off?  Let me buy you that coffee, or a glass of wineinstead?".  Keep smiling, maintain eye contact.  

That's it.  She'll either say yes.  Or perhaps "sorry can't".  Or "maybe".  But you've done pretty much all you can with her.  

Again, remember that your goal at this point is just to get her attention and state your interest to talk to her in a more relaxed setting.

Well had this experience where a girl kept looking at me and felt it, saw her looking direct and via the glass reflections and kinda not sure what she wanted, so then i just kept looking straight at her once we had eye contsct for few second she suddenly stick out her tongue like doing a goofy face and i smiled back as I didnt knew how else to react. And actually didnt do anything with her as pretty quick I had to walk out of the train as I reached my destination. Probably if I walked up to her could basically asked anything as she was flirting with me and not the otherway around. But I was to tired that day to understand the signal.

Bro, that is totally different. IMO, if she is making a face at you then are half way to win That means she is (in your momentary social contract with her) engaging you...proposing you make the next move.  Girls can do that (stick their tongueout, or make a silly face) because they're certainly not going to give you their slutty, f*ck-me eyes in public.

At that point a simple "Hi, I'm _______. What's your name?" would've been enough to get the ball rolling.

Wander, TheButler, gherk, other bros care to chime in?

[ Last edited by  jetsetting2much at 8-6-2013 23:12 ]

Will try this technique everywhere then, look and smile and see the reaction and when she smile back in some flirty way walk to them and say: Hi I noticed you around, uhm,  I find you very attractive, uhm , would you... uhm...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brPbF-cUTwE

I didn't watch the video.  But man, getting a gal into a conversation, AND getting her number is easy as hell.  I mean it...  It is easy. They're single!  They don't want to be single.  No girl does.  DUH!  Even in LA, those nites I decide to go out and party a bit I wake up with 3,4,5 numbers in my pocket.  This is not the hard part.  All those fucking "scoring" tutorials, that stop there...  Shit.  Bullshit.  Getting them into bed is what we're after.  My problem is I never remember which number/name aligned with which vaguely-remembered gal.  I usually abandon these numbers.  Can't be bothered goingng thru the effort.

But...  Just frickn talk to her and ask her.  I gave you a tip to break thru the hard, public work-environment She's in.  Try that or try anything else you feel comfortable with.  The point is... Just TRY!  WHat's the worst that can happen???  She says no.  Ohhhh. END OF DAYS!  You feel embarrassed in front of strangers??  So what??  Fuck 'em.  They'll be impressed you had the balls to ask.  

Do it.  Do it now.  Make your introduction.  

And report here....  I am curoious what happens.     

Lazytjai, I agree with wander -- It's time now for you to tell us how it went when you try the stuff we've suggested here. Even if you try it on another girl, you've got to try it, or else there's not much point in continuing the conversation here.

If you donbt act soon, I will come into her shop, sweet-talk her a while, and fuck her in front of you! Hehe.  Make no mistake that gals like getting fucked too!!  If you don't make a move, someone else will.  I gurantee that!! Maybe someone like me.  Cute/worthy girls get attantion!  So you better act.  Now!

Do it Bro.  Good luck.

Why did you get off the train? What's a few extra stops on the mtr to talk to a girl that was flirting with you? Those are the best to practice with to get your confidence up, even if she is not YCOT.

Well i wasnt aware what it ment during the time it happen, didn't had the knowledge that was flirting.