A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh shrimps, ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out the window.

After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that? It's disgusting to watch."

"Listen, love." He replied, "It's got nothing to do with you, I've paid my fare for this journey and I'll do what I damn well want on this train."

He carried on ripping off the shells, throwing them out of the window and eating the shrimps. Finally he finished the bag and settled back for a little sleep.

The woman then started some knitting and all the man could hear while he was trying to sleep was the incessant clicking of her knitting needles.

After a while, he sits back up and says to the woman, "Could you stop that noise, can't you see I'm trying to sleep?"

"It's got nothing to do with you," replies the old woman, "I've paid my fare and I'll do what I want on this train."

At that, the man grabbed the woman's knitting and threw it out the window.

The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train alarm cord.

The man burst out laughing and said, "Haha, you'll get fined £200 for that!"

To which the old woman replied, "And you'll get six years when the police smell your fingers!"