A little about myself:

I'm a 19 year old college student who is a virgin. Being fat during my early teenager years, I never had the self confidence to ask a girl out.

After going through the "freshman 15", I decided being fat was no longer acceptable and a year later I am a lot lighter and stronger.

However, you can't hold self confidence, throw it on a barbell and push it up and down hoping for more of it: I am still a virgin.

So the question is: Should I go visit a WG?

Well, i lost my virginity to a WG when i was 18 years old. It was the night after we won for our school its very 1st championship in high school basketball. It was some teammates of mine who took me to a massage parlor and had me baptised that night.

Sure, nothing wrong with using a WG for your first time experience. Sex with a WG is not at all like sex the first time with a new girlfriend or pickup, it's missing the build up and excitement of that. However, if you are lacking confidence it's not a bad idea to get some of that out of the way before having first time sex with a new girlfriend. Just don't make a habit of always using WGs so that you never end up seeking the real thing elsewhere. Use a WG or two to build that confidence, but don't use a WG to hide from reality for too many years--at your age these are some great years.

In my humble opinion....

Why are you in such a hurry to "lose your virginity"?
When we talk to our sisters / daughters, we often tell them to hang on to it because it's a gift you can only give once. While the whole "gift" isn't so prevalent for guys, a first time for MOST things is something that's special and you'll likely hold it close to your heart until you start getting old and senile.

True, the chances of one marrying their first and only is getting slim, but shouldn't it be special? and be with someone special?

De-virginisation isn't going to make you more confident. And unless you're ENTIRELY comfortable with the whole WG thing (ie, like @devilgodspeed who's experience is one of camaraderie and had a whole team cheering him on), there's also a chance that you'll feel guilty when you DO find a girlfriend and she asks you about your "first experience".

I had plenty of GFs through high school and plenty more through college, and more than a few opportunities to "lose" my virginity. But I personally wasn't ready until after I was 22 and about to head into my final year at college. There's nothing wrong with waiting for the right moment. And if anyone tells you differently, they're just immature and a total ass.

My suggestion is to overcome your lack of confidence.

Confidence isn't about how you look. It's about believing in yourself. If you give me $200, I'd have no problem telling you what a wonderful guy you are for an hour either. but that's not going to build your confidence in yourself. Quite honestly, just stop thinking about it and welcome life. Enjoy life. Come what may.

Bonne chance.

~UD

Wow, lots of great advice already.

Every time I go to the gym, I usually end up with a strong urge after...strong enough of an urge for me to pick up the phone and call some of the girls I see here.

During those times I tell myself "you're finding a WG tomorrow buddy" but then the next day or after I "cure" myself I tell myself to wait it out.

Are WGs virgin-friendly?

I lost my virginity at the age of 15 or 16 (Can't really remember). But not to a WG. Few months later I started trying out different WGs, mainly in Hong Kong. Till now, I have tried over a dozen of WGs and I really enjoy it. Who wouldn't?

In my opinion, it's all about how to think you want it to be. If you think that virginity is some special gift and blah blah blah bullshit, then you should wait for the special moment. God knows how long you will have to wait and tolerate your girl.

But on the other hand, if you really wanna enjoy life, then don't give a fuck about this virginity crap and have sex with both WGs and your girlfriends. This way it's kind of balanced for people of our age. That's what I do.

I think you should go for it. I mean come on, I lost mine at 15/16 and even tried WGs at the age of 15/16. And you are 19...

By the way, are you in Hong Kong? And whats your nationality?

All the best!!

Don't go losing your virginity just like that! Ask yourself why you wanna lose your virginity. Don't give in to peer pressure. Do it if you want to and at your own time. I didn't lose mine till I was 20 yrs old. I still remember it well. So my point to you is, do it atyour own time, and your own reasons, then you will remember it for life. Don't do it just because you are horny! We have plenty of time to be horny!

I was 21 when I first plucked up the courage to climb the stairs. to a see a girl in a room.

It is obvious that if you wait for the right time to go with a regular girl for your first time, you will worry for a number of years yet.  Like me you, you are too self-conscious of your shyness and your vulnerability.  Any girl will pick up on this and there will be a situation where your fear of rejection will continue to reinforce your fears.

Working girls have seen everything before but do not so often come across virgins.

I got a little tipsy but not so drunk that I could not function.  The beer gave me Dutch Courage and I was carefree enough to tell the WG, who was about ten years older than me, I was a newbie.  Believe me, she loved the situation.  She treated me very kindly and took the phone off the hook.  I had double the amount of time that I paid for.  It was a great relief to do it and I gave her a big tip.

Bro, I would say get yourself a vitamin tablet, have a couple of beers and GO for it.  It will be far easier next time!!  Then get on with the rest of your life.  Happy mongering and eventually I hope that you find the girl of your dreams.

I'd agree with bro Locus and Uncledad

I didn't exactly lose my virginity early either but trust me, when you find a nice girl she won't care if you are a virgin or not. If she really gives a sh*t then she's not a keeper anyways. Set standards for yourself, don't settle on popping your cherry just for the sake of it. You can go punting throughout your life but popping your cherry is something that only happens once.

I can understand why some Bros are telling you to take your time, find the right girl and do not squander THE moment on a WG.  They are probably speaking from their own experience.  Indeed, if roles were reversed and you/we were females their arguement would , in my opinion be correct.  As a female, I would not want to lose my virginity in a drunken/one night stand situation.

As a male however, especially one writing on a forum such as this, your virginity is not that important.  What is important is that you get the confidence to move on with your life.  You do not want the millstone of popping your cherry hanging over you while you waste the best, carefree years of your life.

Hey OP, i used to have your problem when I was a kid. A mate introduced me to a book called "The Game" (which is common nowadays) and I've had a lot of luck with women since then. Read up on cocky and funny and you should be able to avoid the punting scene. I think you're missing out the "mental workout" for dealing with the chicks, and a WG would just demotivate you to pick up chicks 'naturally'.

I say do it. Then you just learn earlier. Don't waste any more years of your life wondering "what if" ......

Trust me, its a life experience. Whether big or small, its something that you should experience.

I think your first time has an impact on how you perceive the act.  At least for a while.  I would just use the same determination you had loosing weight on finding a girlfriend.  You have time.

If you get a WG first, you will probably get a few before you get a girlfriend (maybe a lot), and it will skew your idea of what sex should be.

I think all the bros here will agree that sex with a WG is not the same as sex with a GF.  Both are fine and good, but you should find yourself an equally inexperienced GF and have fun figuring it all out instead of having it handed to you in 45 minute increments.

I will get to the point=  I wouldn't rush it.  

Paying for sex will distort the reality of sex at your age.  Give it time & those rewards are only going to be bigger.  Yeah it sounds preachy but its pretty true.  The rest is all noise out there.

One bit of advise I can give : every fuck you miss out on is one less you get in your allotted life time. Go for it,  I have found no difference in sex with a WG or a girl friend, sex is sex its a physical thing.

I agree that sex is just sex but I strongly disagree that there is no different between sex with a WG or a gf. Sex with WG is paid sex! The difference is huge. It might make you lazy....feels horny, go pay for sex! You are young and should do what young ppl do. Get a few rejections before you get good at picking up girls. You can pick up a WG anytime. Losing virginity is of no different if you are a guy or a girl! It is not only a physical thing but a state of mind...be it emotional or whatever else.

There's a ton of great advice here - very balanced!!  

Some observations ...

only you can decide what's right for you, my suggestion is to think it through, and then make your choice.  If in the future you can say "yes, given what I knew at the time, I would have made the same choice" you're going to avoid the risk of getting depressed or embarrassed about your choice afterwards.  

First sex is one of those things that I believe is 90% opportunity and 10% idealistic.


you and half the world mate.  Nothing to be embarrassed or shy about.

Yes, some guys (and a lot of girls) started way before you ... but the majority haven't.  

Speaking for myself I was 22 before I got myself seduced ... and yes I went through all the insecure angst stuff before that happened ... and quite honestly I continued to go through the insecure angst stuff after I was deflowered:  having sex didn't stop me feeling vulnerable or unattractive!!!  That's altogether a different problem.  

BUT, if your hormones are driving you, and you want pussy and you want it now, I hear ya man, I hear ya.  

What I would say from my own "first" experience, is that it was sweet, loving, and a nice memory.  I'm pretty sure paid sex wouldn't have worked that way for me ... but that's just me and the way I am, equally I'm sure a lot of guys pay for their first time and for them it is their own happy memory.


I do want to point out this is backwards thinking: you're probably fat because you feel insecure and vulnerable, not lacking confidence because you're fat.  OK there is a vicious circle there where they feed each other,
but I do want you to get that as far as sex is concerned: confidence comes first, and is SUFFICIENT.  Once you have confidence, it doesn't matter if you're fat or not ... and that's a good thing because losing weight takes months whereas increasing your confidence CAN happen overnight.  

Reason this is important to get is that girls actually don't care how YOU look.  What girls want is for you to make THEM feel sexy ...

OK girls can be really nasty and push your buttons, but they're doing it to test your insecurity not to reject your figure.  They'll fuck a fat guy if he's confident and makes them look good to her friends.  And girls WILL test your self-confidence, every time.  They want you to answer back.  

Sure, I can confirm that being in shape will get you more attention, I've been both sides of that picture ... her friends will be more jealous of her if she's next to a hunk ... but you must always remember that a boring or insensitive hunk will attract her LESS than a fat guy who is entertaining, makes her laugh, and makes her feel desired but not creeped out.  

Strongly suggest
  - read up more about attracting and seducing girls - there are great books and a ton of free stuff on the internet
  - consider starting with a massage + HJ before you go for full sex. That'll relieve the pressure (literally) and help you to think more clearly about what you really want.  
  - and if having considered it, paid sex appeals to you, go enjoy yourself to the max ...

If you do decide to wait, and want to get a "real" girl here are some tips:-

1. Spend time with girls.  Any girls, and LOTS of girls.  Just spend time with them, hanging out, talking to them.  Tip: talk about THEM, not you.  Get them to talk about themselves.  Girls love it if you are interested in them, it's step 1 of the mating ritual.  Oh, and if you can remember what they said - things like how they take their coffee, the names and occupations of their family members, favourite sexual position, etc. - they get totally blown away ... that's step 2 of the mating ritual: match and mirror.  

2. If any girl is rude to you or criticises you, be rude to her or critise her.  Go on, I dare you to!!  If she's rude to you and you're rude back, worst case she'll walk off in a huff, which is exactly what you want ... don't waste time on arrogant bitches or princesses ... you'll eliminate the girls who don't deserve your time, and you might just find they get turned on by your unexpected riposte.  Confidence means the confidence to walk away and find another girl ... which hooks her deeply in her feminine insecurity.  

3. What turns a girl off is a "wuss" or a "creep"

4. What turns a girl on is someone who makes her laugh, who knows how to flirt, and (hottest of all) can use sexual innuendo in a casual conversation about day-to-day matters.  

Roughly speaking, as far as I can translate the infinitely intractable female mind, a wuss is someone who is weak-willed and is afraid of rejection.  
And a creep is a clingy and possessive guy who is more interested in what he wants from her than in what she wants from him.  Rougly speaking, that is ...

... avoid those, and you're pretty much on pussy highway ... spend time with a girl, MAKE HER LAUGH, and she will either want you next time her hormones kick in, i.e. every month, or you'll end up meeting one of her friends who wants sex with you.  

You don't have to be very good at the game to start winning,

but you do have to be in it to win it.  

Girls want sex.  Trust me on that one.  Even the young hot girls want sex and are open to casual sex.  No: ESPECIALLY the young hot girls want sex ...

[ Last edited by  DArtagnan at 1-8-2012 10:19 ]

Why not?

Virginity is no big deal.  I don't mean to be rude, but as a guy, you should stop believing in fairy tales about sex being special.  Girls will believe in that stuff, but us guys should be more pragmatic.

I did not lose my virginity to a WG, but to my ex that treated me like shit at the end. I know where some of the guys here are coming from. Your first time should be special and not with an WG. Well.. If you are saving for the one you love then you wouldn't be here on this forum in the first place. Besides, most likely you won't even marry her. Any decision you make, you will regret later in life. It is just the matter of how much you will regret.

You are 18 years old and can't remember whether you lostyour virginity at 15 or 16?  And you were regularly having sex with WGs when you were 15 or 16?

Come on mate your posts are so full of holes you could sell them as swiss cheese...