I CAN"T CUM

  (1) I can't cum if the girl is not into it.  I've chosen her because she's physically attractive but if she's got her eyes wide open and stares at the ceiling, then I can't cum.
  (2) I can't cum if she talks too much or if she's a bad actress at being PSE.  I esp hate it when she calls me Baby.  "Will you just shut the fuck up already?"
  (3) I can't cum if she's got some kind of Chinese herbal soup brewing on the stove -- god, I hate that smell.  The brew is an aphrodisiac but it's giving me a bone downer.
  (4) I can't cum if she doesn't clean herself after every customer and her twat reeks of petroleum fart: KY jelly & lube & latex.  You know that stench?  When you're fucking her and that turbulent torrent of petroleum products of days past starts to whiff past your nostrils?  I can't cum.

Not cumming happens almost 5O% of the time with me.  That's when I get pissed at myself for not buying the latest pair of Adidas boost sneakers, instead of seeing this dead fish.