kaleu
Throbbing Titan
Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7


UID 45445
Digest Posts 0
Credits 3308
Posts 1512
Karma 3224
Acceptance 1672
Reading Access 70
Registered 24-5-2010
Location PRC
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 11:39  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Business question - non monger

Since this has little to do with mongering I am putting it in the chat section.

When you go out on a business dinner or drinks (as is common in China) with a company representative you don't know, who picks up the check?

In the US it would be the person who initiated the meeting.  But I know things can be a bit different in China.  Would it be the still be the person who initiated the meeting?  The person who has the most to gain from the meeting?  The "local" as opposed to the guest?  How much of an effort should be made to pick up the tab before it is just seen as rude?

If one person buys dinner and then the meeting progresses to a bar and then a KTV, is the same person on the hook for the whole night's tab?
Top
atomic3d
Throbbing Titan
Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7


UID 41127
Digest Posts 0
Credits 3282
Posts 2642
Karma 3157
Acceptance 2501
Reading Access 70
Registered 10-3-2010
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 11:43  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #1 kaleu's post

When I was in mainland China it was always the inviter, not the invitee that paid. There was never any question of splitting the bill as is often the case here and I suspect if you insisted too much on paying, the inviter might feel that he had lost face.
Top
markreyes
Kinky King
Rank: 5Rank: 5



UID 5437
Digest Posts 0
Credits 1301
Posts 805
Karma 1288
Acceptance 265
Reading Access 50
Registered 2-12-2007
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 11:53  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
I would look at this from a net worth point of view as well.

If the person inviting you to dinner/drinks has more money than you, then he will definitely pay.

If the person inviting you to dinner/drinks has more money than you, but you need something from him, you should offer to pay (which may or may not be declined by the host .. just play it by ear)

If the person inviting you to dinner/drinks has less money than you, then he should pay, but if he doesn't, you may be left to pick up the tab.  You should not initiate the payment unless it becomes obvious he is not paying.

If the person inviitng you to dinner/drinks has less money than you, then he may pay, but if you need something from him (reason for the meeting) then you should pay.

This works in reverse if you the one inviting.

A general rule of thumb is, when you are inviting, you should pay.

If you are invited, just play it by ear, you'll know by body language if you are expected to pay.

If you are going from dinner, bar, then club, sometimes it's good to offer to pay for the next activity if the other person has paid.  You will either be rebuffed or welcomed ... no problems.

Personally, if my guest or friend picks up the check, i will offer to pay once, perhaps twice depending on the people involved.  If it is refused, I will put away my wallet and suggest another acitivity, either immediately or another night soon that I will pay for.  This is safe.  I generally do not advocate arguing about the bill in a public place, many people dislike this as it makes them lose face and look poor ior stingy n front of strangers.
Top
kaleu
Throbbing Titan
Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7


UID 45445
Digest Posts 0
Credits 3308
Posts 1512
Karma 3224
Acceptance 1672
Reading Access 70
Registered 24-5-2010
Location PRC
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 13:03  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L


QUOTE:
Originally posted by markreyes at 13-10-2010 11:53
I would look at this from a net worth point of view as well.

If the person inviting you to dinner/drinks has more money than you, then he will definitely pay.

If the person inviting you to dinner/dr ...

Can I get this in a Powerpoint presentation?  

They have more money than me.  I initiated the contact, but they initiated the meeting, so it's a little blurry who is really doing the inviting.  I will get more out of it than they will.  So I guess I should pay.  Thanks for the reassurance.
Top
markreyes
Kinky King
Rank: 5Rank: 5



UID 5437
Digest Posts 0
Credits 1301
Posts 805
Karma 1288
Acceptance 265
Reading Access 50
Registered 2-12-2007
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 13:08  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #4 kaleu's post

In that context, you are the one looking for something, so I would advise you to try and pay.  I'm assuming this is just coffee, dinner, drinks or whatever, so it should not be substantial.

If you encounter massive resistance when you try and pay, I would put up a little bit of fight, but back down if they are very insistent.  Then offer to take them, over the weekend or next week etc, to some nice restaurant you heard about.
Top
haroldla
Banned




UID 23978
Digest Posts 0
Credits 1157
Posts 795
Karma 1156
Acceptance 10
Reading Access 0
Registered 24-4-2009
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 18:03  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
i think if it is a business drinks/dinner, it is usually the boss or non-client to pay. otherwise if both size are equal status and do not have business involved, than usually the inviter to pay or split the bill.
Top
twiceAweek
Sex God
Rank: 11Rank: 11Rank: 11Rank: 11


UID 1044
Digest Posts 0
Credits 21117
Posts 20505
Karma 20541
Acceptance 11525
Reading Access 110
Registered 12-4-2007
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 18:10  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #6 haroldla's post

In China, dealings with local Chinese ... one NEVER split the bill !!!


kaleu - you want business from them - you pay the bill + other entertainment
if you're dealing with gov officials MAKE SURE YOU PAY under any circumstances !!!
Top
TonyToro
Throbbing Titan
Rank: 7Rank: 7Rank: 7


UID 37475
Digest Posts 0
Credits 4498
Posts 2853
Karma 4389
Acceptance 2182
Reading Access 70
Registered 7-1-2010
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 19:24  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #1 kaleu's post

Don't worry so much about who initiated the meeting, the seller will usually pay for buyer Bro. If you are buying from the Mainland people, they will want to pay. Especially if you are the one who travelled to see them.  If you are selling to them, you should try and pay.

As Twice says, GOVT Officials NEVER Pay!
Top
kaka (YaYa PaPaYa)
Godfather of Hole
Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


UID 4484
Digest Posts 0
Credits 8232
Posts 4486
Karma 8093
Acceptance 2775
Reading Access 90
Registered 15-11-2007
Location China
Status Offline
Post at 13-10-2010 19:26  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #1 kaleu's post

no need to think so much....
in china... just ALWAYS OFFER to pay..
it doesn't matter who pay in the end...
just make sure everyone sees you taking out your wallet and fight for the bill.

trust me.

Recent Ratings
scootermonger   16-10-2010 02:57  Acceptance  +1   yup, u got it right
Avatar   13-10-2010 22:15  Acceptance  +1   Soooooooo true.
TonyToro   13-10-2010 19:33  Acceptance  +1   so true!




Top
markreyes
Kinky King
Rank: 5Rank: 5



UID 5437
Digest Posts 0
Credits 1301
Posts 805
Karma 1288
Acceptance 265
Reading Access 50
Registered 2-12-2007
Status Offline
Post at 14-10-2010 03:03  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #9 kaka's post

I agree this is the right method for friends, relatives, etc.

However, in business, this can result in a lesser negotiation position if you are seen to offer to pay.  I've had it happen in earlier days in Manila, Thailand, and in Hong Kong.  

In most dealings, your advice is straight-forward and very correct.  But, if your company is in the better business position, this can lead to you not closing the best possible deal you may have been able to negotiate.
Top
kaka (YaYa PaPaYa)
Godfather of Hole
Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


UID 4484
Digest Posts 0
Credits 8232
Posts 4486
Karma 8093
Acceptance 2775
Reading Access 90
Registered 15-11-2007
Location China
Status Offline
Post at 14-10-2010 11:45  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #10 markreyes's post

in china, it's all abt relationship. "GuanXi"

this is regardless of business position.

when i pay for my customers' entertainment... i want to impress them.
when i pay for my suppliers' entertainment... i want them to owe me a favour.

so either way, i offer to pay.

business superiority during dinner-time only exists with government officials.
so if u are a businessman u are still expected to pay..


and i haven't even start on the etiquettes of china graft.
first rule is... always pay for everything.

Recent Ratings
DaBestHK   14-10-2010 13:23  Acceptance  +1   agree




Top
markreyes
Kinky King
Rank: 5Rank: 5



UID 5437
Digest Posts 0
Credits 1301
Posts 805
Karma 1288
Acceptance 265
Reading Access 50
Registered 2-12-2007
Status Offline
Post at 14-10-2010 14:26  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #11 kaka's post

I'm not disagreeing with your points for mainland China, my experience there is a little more limited than in other parts of SE Asia.

The only point I'm trying to make is that in some situations, offering to pay is like bleeding in the water, you will be inviting sharks to come and eat you.
Top
chewie10
Carnal Conqueror
Rank: 3Rank: 3



UID 37393
Digest Posts 0
Credits 293
Posts 383
Karma 294
Acceptance -17
Reading Access 30
Registered 6-1-2010
Status Offline
Post at 14-10-2010 14:40  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
In the United States, it's going dutch or each person pay their own, or chips in in the power lunch with fellow workers.
When it's presentation, making deals with others, or meals with higher ups, I try to pay for it.
However if the management wants to smooth out relations they usually have either business pay for it, or
pay for it themselves.

Recent Ratings
SEAJ   15-10-2010 17:12  Karma  -1   Quest is about China. Irrelevant
atomic3d   14-10-2010 15:47  Acceptance  -2   Irrelevant. Please read OP.
Top
kaka (YaYa PaPaYa)
Godfather of Hole
Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9


UID 4484
Digest Posts 0
Credits 8232
Posts 4486
Karma 8093
Acceptance 2775
Reading Access 90
Registered 15-11-2007
Location China
Status Offline
Post at 14-10-2010 18:23  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
Reply #12 markreyes's post

no no , i did not say u r wrong.
in fact your point is very valid in most countries.
i'm lucky that i seldom encounter such sharks in china.




Top
camstuckey
Lustful Lord
Rank: 4



UID 53525
Digest Posts 0
Credits 650
Posts 427
Karma 648
Acceptance 32
Reading Access 40
Registered 14-10-2010
Status Offline
Post at 15-10-2010 16:41  Profile P.M. 
Font size: S M L
I agree, its usually paid by the person who has the most money. Although in chinese culture it's nice to offer to pay.
Have its all about face
Top
 


All times are GMT+8, the time now is 23-9-2024 01:21

Powered by Discuz! 5.0.0 © 2001-2006 Comsenz Inc.
Processed in 0.036555 second(s), 9 queries , Gzip enabled

Clear Cookies - Contact Us - 141Love
Disclaimer: This forum is operated as a real-time bulletin board system. 141LOVE.COM carries no legal liability on its contents. All messages are solely composed and up-loaded by readers and their opinions do not represent our stand. Readers are reminded that the contents on this forum may not convey reliable information thus it is readers' own responsibility to judge the validity, completeness and truthfulness of the messages. For messages related to medical, legal or investment issues, readers should always seek advice from professionals. Due to the limitation of the forum's real-time up-loading nature, 141LOVE.com is not able to monitor all the messages posted. Should readers find any problems regarding the messages, do contact us. 141LOVE.COM reserves the rights to delete or preserve any messages and reject anyone from joining this forum. 141LOVE.COM reserves all the legal rights.