Probably completely the wrong forum filled with punters but hey what the hell. It's not as if there's much punting going on is there?

But I miss bare sex with GFs. WGs and all that are nice to fuck but there's something missing

So what am I doing wrong in the HK dating scene?

I got plenty of dates in the UK, Japan and France. I even managed to hook up with a student WG who quit and we went out for a while.

But in Hong Kong it's weird I dont even get a look in.


I'm  very wealthy. Extremely fit, have a very good job. But I've been here a year and not a whiff of civilian poon.

So what gives?

(None of my family are here for any introductions though).

If I knew you're wealthy I would have
come on to you long ago !
… any chance now ?

Your time will come bro, don't let this bother you

There are many young girls looking for like minded men who will join them for the protests and 2nd level violence … lots of free sex to be had, seriously !

Hong Kong has a wide variety of girls. Are you looking for a HK local, mainlander, foreigner?
I would think the way to approach the girl would be very different depending on her background.

But if we're all honest... being "very wealthy" is a great start.

In my opinion the biggest thing is to just put yourself out there to meet more people. And not just meet people thinking you want to date/fuck them. The more people you know the higher the chance you will meet your significant other.

Yeah definitely need more detail.. since its kind of a broad subject.  

In general, dating is a contact sport, especially in HK! With HK having a "work hard" mentality and the awesome convenience of transportation, people here are extra flaky.. just remember that.  And dont get me started on those girls that just wanna chat on dating apps and never want to meet

Your best bet is to just go out a LOT, find a good wing man, use dating apps, and join a lot of those meetups etc.  But with covid-19 and all its probably not the easiest time for that..

When I was a younger, I dated a few HK girls. Mostly from blind dates from friends, internet/web was fairly new at the time.  

Majority were stuck up, very conservative. Some were very shy. I often take their WHOLE family for dim sum and paying.  I was always drilled for questions by their family and friends at dim sum.

In general, my point is HK girls are stuck up and conservative compared to others.  


On the hand, Shanghai girls are known to be even worst.  They are materialistic and very snobbish especially the older females.

[ Last edited by  Weelock at 2-5-2020 04:07 ]

You do need to give a clearer report into what happened that led you to this belief and for us to maybe give you a few pointers.

Generally speaking, if you're looking into the local GF scene, language would be a key component. Not sure where in the world you're from, but if you're Asian, it's definitely an advantage to speak Cantonese to them if you know it, rather than keep the conversation in English. From my experience, locals are lazy and prefer to speak in their local language for ease of convenience, and if they feel they need to put more effort into talking with you, they may pass. However, if you're a Western gweilo guy, they got no choice but to stick to English if they do like you Finally, if you're an ABC/BBC/CCB that speaks non-existent Cantonese, you'll find getting a local GF extremely difficult unless they're okay with conversing in English. <--- This sounds harsh but it is true from everything that I've seen and personal mates that shared their experiences lol

Also, you mentioned about being wealthy. Being wealthy helps you a lot in a way that, assuming you spent time in the UK, you come across as a gentleman to them, to which they expect you to pay. This is the wrong mindset given in UK, Europe and even the US, most will go dutch. But in HK, if they find out you're wealthy, that ain't gonna happen; and what's even worse, they might just date you to get a free meal and then go home, leaving your balls hanging dry

Anyway, good luck to you bro. Please DO share with us more details and I know we'll all gladly help you.

[ Last edited by  nitesky6888 at 2-5-2020 02:36 ]

Patience and persistence.  Don't expect to "succeed" on the first, second, third, even fourth or fifth date.  Build trust and get them to like and feel comfortable  with you. If you have to, pretend to be nice.  You'll get there in the end.

[ Last edited by  dienw at 2-5-2020 03:35 ]

Yes it is expect the male to pay.  They think everyone outside of HK, like in the USA, UK Canada etc.....is RICH.....

What I didn't like was the whole family going for the free meal.  It was NOT a one on one date, it more than the whole clan.

Then the next date would be the mom or brother.. There was always a chaperone.

I recall many would whisper at the table during the free meals and the same time looking at me.....

It is the Cantonese's culture is the main reason HK girls are the way there are, their parents and upbringing.

[ Last edited by  Weelock at 2-5-2020 04:29 ]

Some more details? 38year old UK born Chinese to Hakka parents who emigrated in the 60s.  I learned Cantonese through TVB video tapes in the 80s and 90s. My Cantonese is imperfect. Prefer to speak English because that's what I think in.

Therefore I have a slight accent. Western diet growing up means  I look different. I have a non local hair style, I have a bit of a squint due to loathing of glasses. I am also a gym rat. So everybody thinks I'm Japanese. Even Japanese tourists would approach me and talk to me in Japanese.

5'8 70kilos <10% body fat. Hold a masters degree. I worked in finance and audit for years.

Currently work 3 days a week as an analyst.

Wealth came from a large unexpected inheritance so I have a good passive income and work to keep my CV up to date and get out of the home.

No car don't need it thinking of getting a motorbike though.


Current experiences

5 long termers lots of short termers. I even bagged Happy yes that happy for a couple of months
she came to visit me to do some shopping

I've experienced the bring the whole family along shit they do here many times 10 years ago.

Since March 2019 I've been on 3 dates each of them went to an expensive restaurant I bought them dinner and they then ghosted me.

I've cold approached a few women and it's I've got a BF or diu le lao mo bien tai lao!

I met many girls at school.  Try taking a few classes at a  University.  
My friends took Ballroom dancing PE and cooking at Junior College to
meet girls.  Get a part time job tutoring if you don't want to take classes.

Do not take anything like Engineering were 90% are males.   

There is a big age difference since most are about 20 to 23 might be an issue.


I believe girls in China are more looking for BF to leave China if you are a foreigner.
You chances in China might be better especially when are rich and not too old, and not too short,
and not too geeky looking.

I like to join and McDonald's is fine for free lunches.  

but I might be too old for you.  

[ Last edited by  Weelock at 3-5-2020 03:00 ]

A poster said dating is a contact sport, and that is completely true in that you just need volume to figure things out, and what generalities you can pick up and apply for the next.

Overall however, if we're talking about a long term GF (not a civilian punt/one nighter) I don't think you need to fundamentally do anything different. I think ladies will detect unauthentic behavior and ultimately that's a barrier to a relationship - and whilst money puts you at a distinct advantage, you want to someone that isn't there just to dig gold....

So broadly - play to your strengths. You're Western-raised, fluent in English, good job etc - similar to myself actually (though I have a SO/married). I think there is a subset of HKers who may seek a Chinese looking individual who have Western influences (some girls desire a white guy, but don't want to bring them home to see parents). Could look for ABC/BBC etc who are a good fit, or locals who have a global mindset (i.e. ones that work at int'l companies, have gone on exchange etc).

Just you do you when it comes to finding SO/GF. My 2 cents Good luck buddy.

I feel if you're looking for a somewhat local girl, the best might be the girls who are born here but, say, got their degrees from studying in UK or US. They are local enough, but not too much, and speak perfect English.

I am at University right now and it is the same. I feel the local boys and girls have a very closed group and I feel that when the girls are working, the same local conservative culture flows at the workplace as well.

IMO, like me, you will have the most success with HK girls who have spent a few years outside. I'm not saying westernized girls are easy, but I feel like they are more likely to be more suggestive about what they want ~ not the push and pull that I've felt with the (other) local girls.

Also, as another poster mentioned, language is a huge deal in upgrading a relationship. I don't speak a nickel's worth of Cantonese. I am learning some Korean and while it is rudimentary, at best, it is sufficient to express my interest to get things rolling with Koreans girls [haven't smashed any tho, but I will persevere ~ even if they have gone back to Korea due to this damned Covid].

I'm a white guy.  Like wonder-bread white.  Burn to a crisp in the summer sun.  From the west, lived there (HK) for almost 5 years.  Got laid ALL THE TIME.  

I cant help but wonder what you are doing wrong on dates or outings?  You, my bro, are likely doing something wrong, over and over.

What do you think that might be?

You've got the "whole-package" gals want:  Some wealth (maybe a lot, I dont know), education, wants a steady gal (I'm guessing), likely dresses well, etc. etc.  It should be easy for you.  So you are doing something wrong.

You talk about yourself alot on dates?  If so, stop it.  Dont say anything about yourself, instead steer the conversation to be about her.  Always.  Even when she asks about you.., answer honestly, but shortly, and put it back about her as quickly as possible.  Gals get hot-shot guys bragging about themselves about 20 times a day!  Boring as fuck, and mostly lies (they think).  So, shut up.... and just ask questions about her.

These posts I read above about going on 5, 6, 7 dates with nothing.  Good lord!  Noooooooo.  If a gal is into you she'll be ripping your clothes off in date 1 or 2.  I say date 3 is the final chance.  And I say this only because a lot of gals seem to have made this a "rule".  We're animals when it comes to chemistry.  You've turned her on, or you havent.

My guess, is you talk a lot about how well you are doing during your dates.  Nothing sexy about that at all.

Hey man. Welcome to Hong Kong, hope you’ve enjoyed your first year! I’ve been here a decade now and can give you some insight perhaps. If you’re after western girls then Tinder is a great play. Pay for the extras on thier platform and you can sort through the crap more quickly plus you can respond to chicks that like you straight away. Western ladies seem to love locals, CBC and ABC here because they know all us gweilos have massive yellow fever and they don’t trust us in LFK and Wan Chai.

The best advise I can give you for finding a lady that you’ll really get on well with is to do the things that make you happy the most. Sounds like you go to the gym a lot but that’s about as quality of a place to meet a lady as a bar. If you’re looking for long term then get out and go to the social clubs that you fit in with. Go sailing, biking, get that motorcycle and joing the saturday morning bike ride here in Hong Kong (Look it up on facebook, it’s a massive and fun moto gathering every week) take some classes that interest you, it’s getting fucking hot so learn to scuba dive or take the next certification in Sai Kung, take a cooking class...there’s a great french one at www.hkfrenchcookingclass.com and I’ve met some fun ladies there.

Anyway, I think most of us agree that we always find the best chicks and the best job oportunities when we have a good job or are already in a relationship. There’s something to that. You’re not desperate when you have one. Best thing you can do is just go live the best Kennichi life you can and let the world come to you. Take what it gives you, figure out the rest and be happy, mate!! Wish you all the best.

maybe you are just boring? I mean no offense; but local girls for dating (not for marriage or anything like that) may not give a shit about your wealth and credentials... They just want to laugh and have fun... Rather than throwing money into expensive restaurant dinners; just go catch a movie (they reopen movie theaters) and go grab a drink - instead of impressing; focus on making her smile. Give a try as the previous approach has proven not successful. Good lucky!

One can be wealthy but a real tightwad  !
Not saying this about bro K, but we don't know enough of his situation no matter how much he tells us …

May I suggest someone act as a matchmaker and introduce him to some lovely girl, bro K maybe you can tell us what type you're looking for

Probably misreading the situation, but if you're needing to say you're 'very' wealth (particularly in Hong Kong) that's a red flag.

Add in that you more family isn't here tells me the wealth is probably not self made and that social situations are awkward.

If suggest you release some of that baggage, start some new social circles and focus on who you are, not what you have or where you're from.