Silly... can't seem to go 24 hours.
Since I pushed her away again I've been thinking of her non-stop and, dammit... I just contacted her.
Why she agreed to see me I don't know - I have caused her so many tears. But she's is still pleading for my love. And I
want to give it.....
I am also becoming concerned that she might cancel her wedding - christ, that would be evil of me if I fuck her whole life up 'cause I have a little infatuation going on!! Anyway, her wedding is very very soon... this should change things.
Damn... I'm so bloody addicted to her. Titanic-scale sunk.
I have a roldex full of girls. Sexy, hot, affectionate girls I can ring up. But I want this one! I went nuts punting last week to let myself move on - had great times too - but it didn't matter. Had a really great weekend with the SO - but it didn't matter. As soon as I let my mind wander it goes straight to her and my gut seizes up with the realization that I told her goodbye - that she's gone.
So I contacted her.... and I apologized and told her I'm insane. Which I clearly am. And she accepted it and immediately we started making plans to meet later this week. Shit, shit, shit. I just can't walk away....
Fatal car crash in progress!