Pardon my bluntness but COME ON!

I'm probably gonna get shit from people here for not being p.c with my opinion, but if your a grown ass man, you should know a bit better then to set yourself up like this.  Everybody has the occasional brain fart, but you pretty much have an entire forum of experienced bro's telling you this isn't exactly the best idea.  

Yes she's a " masseuse " at a " veggie " joint, that parts okay, but the part about " hey let me borrow 20k, " and " let me try on this crazy expensive Adidas Y3 tracksuit " are both ways of her testing the waters mate.  If she was a normal girl that you met on the street/bar/club/social situation, one would most likely label her a potential gold digger.  Who in the right mind would ask anyone to borrow 20k right off the bat?  

You might as well just admit to yourself and accept the fact that you like a sketchy mainland chick, which is okay, but all this various self justification is a bunch of bullocks.  Keep the relationship what it is, fuck, some money here and there, and that's it if you want to avoid potential failure and heartbreak.  If it works out, more power to you, but do take the advice of the bro's here as they've given you very valuable " life education".

....... So it's been 3 months. And that's the end of it. On a significant day of my life, she's gone to Macau with god knows who doing god knows what...  when I want her to be by my side most.

A little update is due to all you kind readers out there. Since April, she has moved in with me. Now its nearer July, she will be moving out soon. It didn't work out, and I had my reservations all along (maybe that's why it did not work).

I am a little affected, and find it hard to put my thoughts into words, still puzzled by the sudden turn of events. Anyway, good luck to her. I have spent HKD 20K on her, but she had also taken care of me and set my mess of an apartment straight.That's the end of this relationship.

I hate to resort to cliches, but remember the ages old axiom:

"You can take the girl out of the veggie massage parlor, but you can never take the veggie massage parlor out of the girl."

Sorry it didn't work out for you, but long-term relationships with semi Pro's is a pretty dicey affair.

Why not find a nice office girl?

You can't help but sympathize with both you and the girl.  Many may say that you've been taken for a bit of a ride, but you were careful, and 20K is not an immense amount of money.

You had a relationship and it didn't work out.  That happens with non WG's too.

These girls do get their lives twisted up.  They become WG's because they are so poor, and they see the dollar signs.  Once they have got a few miles on them they realize that they can't go back.  They are forever stigmatized as being an ex whore.  What are the odds of finding a good husband, or a good job with that background?

So they get depressed at their sad existence and they tell you their sad story.  I don't think it is gold-digging - in most cases their unhappiness is real.  As you said, she rarely asked you for money (with the exception of a loan for the lawyer).  Also there is nothing wrong with generosity as long as you have chosen to be generous, and not had money extracted from you.

maccalim I feel for you.  You and your ex had unrealistic expectations.  You both thought that each other would somehow revolutionize your lives.  Hopefully, you gave each other happy memories and, when the emotions subside, the knowledge that you are better people than you would have been without the relationship.

We all make choices in life.  Your friend, with her eyes wide open, has made the choice to go to Macau to seek her fortune.  Chin up, wish her well, and move on.  

And now, no contact for at least 6 months.  It's like quitting smoking - you break down and have that one cig, and you are sucked right back in again.

[ Last edited by  yazoo at 27-6-2011 22:09 ]

Hello,

Maccalim, let me make this short.

There are always ways to find out if she truely going for your love or your money.
Time is the key if the person is real or not.

Hope this helps.

She's the type that will always rely on her boyfriend's support (i.e. money, and material needs).

She wanted to move out today after I stopped talking to her. I wanted my keys back but she insisted on keeping it as she's got stuff at my place. This was even after I assure her I will open the doors to let her in to pick up her stuff. After that, she changed her tune, and insist on staying.

I asked her if there is a possibility of us starting over, ignoring the past... she wanted me to promise her a sum of money every month to support her livelihood so that she wouldn't need to work.

Sums it up really. She conveniently forgets my birthday and went to Macau with her friends. I asked "Not even a phone call?" She said she will not make long-distance calls from her phone...   

I'm gonna tell her tomorrow to bugger off, in so many words.

sorry if this sounds blunt. change the locks. don't be a sucker.  lets not let this slide from cordial to something nasty.