I grew up as the son of a middle-class conservative Christian family, and my parents never talked about sex. I managed to lose my virginity at the age of 24 as a result of a long term relationship, but I never really feel satisfied about the sex. It is my dream to become a sexually virile and dominant man, but I think my deep-rooted sexual repression is holding me back. I don't feel confident about my sexuality as a man.

Is mongering a way to overcome sexual repression? If I get to have sex with lots of different women, I'm guessing it will help me build my sexual confidence as well as skills. Anyone with similar experience?

Sex is not just about getting laid.  If you have a good connection with the girl, it makes the sexual experience much better.  The reason most guys here are mongering is due to our physical sexual urges.  Most of us just need a sexual release after a hard days work or just as a release from our normal lives or as a way to fulfill our sexual fantasies.

I personally find that if I can't connect with a wg very well it makes the sexual experience much better.  Which is why I tend to have a bunch of wgs whom I can have a good chat, which makes the sexual experience much better.  We get to know each other a little, shot the breeze before getting down to business.  Then we chat some more afterwards.

[ Last edited by  soundwave at 19-4-2018 12:46 ]

Going to a service provider for sex satisfies only one thing. The physical need to f*ck. As a 20 odd year old, you're already virile. I won't say anything about dominance because we are all different. Some people are more dominant, others are less dominant. Some people are more submissive, others are less submissive. And I think that's where you might be going about it wrong and why you're not finding it satisfying. Sex isn't like a career where you endeavour to become. Yes, we want to learn and get better, but unless you're a porn star, sex is about being.

Do you play sports? When you're in competition, during a match. You're not thinking about footwork, or technique, or what your hair looks like or if your posture is good. Because you're in the moment, in the zone. Making love is the same thing. It's about celebrating your love with someone thru intimate connection.

What kind of "satisfaction" are you looking for b the way? Can you expand on what you mean by that?

~UD

I understand sex is about connection and intimacy, and I have no problem with that. This is consistent with the values instilled upon me in the past.

But the sex and satisfaction that I'm looking for, is that I want to feel powerful and dominant through sex. I am envious of those guys who get to fuck lots of women and make them cum many times. I want to feel my masculinity being validated through sex. Currently I'm not getting a lot of that, and as I said I don't feel confident about my sexuality. My sexual repression is holding me back from realizing my manly potential, and I really want to change that.

You may find by punting you ability to last longer could improve, if that is an aspect for you, as it will become low pressure for you to please the lady. It is an effective way to learn to relax and control when to want to cum, even when an attractive and skilled professional is trying to get it over with quickly.

However if you want to learnt how to give a woman orgasms through fucking her, you are unlikely to get that through a working girl.  Professionals can have several cocks inside them a day, and they will need to shut out any emotional and physicaal feeling for their own sanity.  All the reports here of guys claiming they made the girl cum, are very likely the girl faking it. They get plenty of practice. There are always exceptions, but the majority will fake it so you stop trying.

If you are from a very conservative background, guilt may make it exciting and naughty to start with. However, you are paying, so once you feel at ease you can practice picking up a spinner and banging her like a sex god, and she will try to act as though it's working. Could help a bit.

Edit: Just take care when you are banging her into next Tuesday: a girl in ecstasy (even faking it) sounds almost identical to a girl in pain. I used to think "Tong! Tong!" Meant "Harder! Harder!"

[ Last edited by  Randal at 20-4-2018 10:34 ]

I would echo what other bros have mentioned here...
- sex feels much better when there is some real or perceived emotional connect. That's the reason gfe is rated high in our reviews
- rarely do you feel great about your sexual prowess after a punt. You quickly learn to see through the acts of the WGs
- you might want to check with your partner if she is ok to try out some light BDSM if that's what you are looking for or you could check for a wg who is willing to be submissive

I would just say just enjoy the company of the fairer sex and any action you get, paid or otherwise. You will soon figure out your sexual preferences which will help with the confidence. It's supposed to be fun and not work!!

Thank you guys, a lot of good points here.

I think aside from sexual repression, guilt is a serious thing for me. The Nice Guy image of me is so strong that it kind of defines my identity (at least to others). The guilt of trying out "naughty things" is overwhelming. I know with cautious planning I won't get caught, but my desire to be a sex god is severely suppressed by the other side of me, the side instilled upon me by my conservative upbringing. For you guys maybe sex came into your life very naturally as a casual enjoyment, but to me it wasn't like this. So I had to treat it like an endeavor, something to fight for, but also enjoy at the same time.

Maybe after all I just need to take a first step?

[ Last edited by  hcnova at 20-4-2018 15:40 ]

You have a lot of maturing to do.

I'm no psychologist, but I think the first thing you need to do is stop placing blame. Stop saying you're sexually repressed. A glass is never half full or half empty. There is a half a glass. The more important thing, is to figure out what you're going to do with that half glass. Whine that you have half a glass? Enjoy that half a glass? Or fill it up? Or another choice?

These guys that you're envious of.... Are they your peers? Or are you talking about porn?
Peers.... Chances are... They're lying. Young people have a tendency to exaggerate about their sexual prowess.
Porn... Uhmmm... It's acting mate.

You saying that you're not confident about your masculinity... That's not something you find thru sex mate. It's something that you need to figure out within yourself. If you ARE a nice guy at heart... Being a j*ck*ss will only make you feel more guilty. Nothing wrong with being a nice guy. I mean...Well... Be nice... But don't be a pushover. Lol

I don't think you'll find any of the answers you're looking for with a WG. Or from any sexual encounter. All the things you've mentioned that you find are problems and issues are common themes within young adults that require personal growth. The guys that get the most girls aren't the ones that look good, or have money, or are athletic, or whatever..... The guys that get the most girls are the ones most comfortable with themselves. Assuredness in who they are. Learn to love yourself mate, grow from within, and stop placing blame.

Sex is overrated. Find love, make love, celebrate love. And if your partner is open to trying new things too... Bonus.

Bonne chance.

~UD

I appreciate your advice, but I think what I'm looking for now is a solution to my issue. I know I shouldn't blame anyone, in fact I am grateful for my family, but that doesn't change the fact that I lack the sexual experience, prowess and dominance that I desire. If sex isn't a solution, why are people so obsessed with it? Why are people paying for it? Why are people boasting their sexual conquests? Why do we laugh at male virgins? Sex does give men the power and validation that men desire. At least that's what I believe.

Loving myself is good, but that will breed complacency. I know personal growth is important, I work out, eat clean and read a lot. But sexual experience and prowess is a key component that's still missing in my growth plan. And I'm struggling to find ways to complete this puzzle.

Obsession with sex: Because sex is great. It feels good physically, you get dopamine and seratonin spikes, increased oxytocin...It's all good. What's not to like? lol

Paying for sex: Because it's easy. Paying for sex is like eating out. Price ranges vary, quality varies, and sometimes you find some pretty good places. But in terms of satisfaction, it's entirely different than a home cooked meal.

Boasting about sexual conquests: While much of that is from media, it is true that sexual conquests and exploits are frequently used as a measurement of a guy's manliness, much like the 'bigger d*ck' competitions. It's superficial, it's juvenile, and it shows how us men aren't very much more developed than our neanderthal ancestors.

Laughing at male virgins: My friends and I have never laughed at a male virgin. I dated a lot in high school and college, for me it was a choice not to have sex. I didn't start until after 3rd year, when I felt that I was ready / comfortable. And see above....neanderthals... all of us. remember? lol

Power and validation: This is why, on Maslow's hierarchy of needs, most people don't get beyond ego. Getting your ego fed is great. Buy a bigger house, become a gym rat for a better physique, drive a nicer car, have a harem of pretty girls following you around so you feel like a rap star. But it's all superficial. Self actualization / self fulfillment (I don't mean masturbation. lol) is actually what it's all about. Learning to find validation and feeling powerful because you are comfortable with yourself, have confidence in who you are.

I apologise if it seems like I'm pontificating. And I'm not saying DON'T go out and sow those wild oats and f*ck random women til you're blue in the face and not in the balls. Everyone on this site are hobbyists in the punt. I'm not judging. I'm really not. We all need to try things and journey on our own roads to find who we are meant to be. I applaud that.
All I'm saying is that if you think that punting is going to solve your problems.... I have my doubts about that.

Good luck mate. And when you do find some nice, delicious WGs.... remember to report. MUWHAHAHAHA.

~UB

Thanks, I do appreciate your answers. I agree we should achieve self-actualization, but is being comfortable with ourselves and having confidence enough? I'm doubtful. If I were confident with my masculinity all along, I would not have started working out or even having sex. I would have believed in saving sex until marriage. I can be satisfied with myself, ignore my desires and live like a monk, but is that good for me? It may sound cliche, but you only live once. If I can't even get my ego fed, I don't think I can go beyond and achieve self-actualization.

I'm actually curious, are there other ways to build confidence in and validate our masculinity and virility?

I'm not saying ignore desires mate... I am a hedonist at heart man. Lol. Eat, drink and be merry (includes f*cking), for tomorrow we may die. Lol. Life is but a dream, live it to its fullest! All good mate. I'm such a bastard. Lol. But I also know that that's not what makes me me. I am a huge advocate of skipping ego and focusing on self actualization because you'll also find that that's when your ego will really get fed.

Of course there are. I played a lot of sports growing up. I was never really good... Just good enough to make the team and ride the pine. No way I was going to make it to the pros. It was about setting personal bests. It's like golf. No such thing as a perfect game (18 shots for 18 holes). No one will perFect it. But it's about getting better, honing your skills, and beating your last score. I've always loved by a single mantra. Always Be Better. Be a better human, be better at what I do, yadda yadda yadda. We'll never be perfect mate. But it feels d*mn good when you are able to surpass your previous self.
Comparing yourself to others is an act of futility. There will always be someone smarter, faster, bigger, blah blah blah.... It's about becoming the best version of you. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Don't compare with other people. Lebron James might be the best basketball player in the world right now... But... He's also a bit of a pr*ck. He's also still trying to shine in the shadow of those who came before him.

Focus on becoming a better you, be confident (not arrogant), and the women will follow. People think that women want aggressive guys.. especially young people. In reality, it's because people don't know what it means to be an assertive gentleman.

~UD

This makes me feel better, and I think I know what to do next. Thanks

Happy to report that I had my first mongering experience a while ago! The sex itself was just average, but the excitement and happiness I had was priceless. I have to say that the idea of bathing and having sex with a complete stranger (and also a hottie) makes my heart race. I still savour her big boobs (which I had never experienced before) and the tightness of her pussy.

After the sex, the feeling of euphoria stuck with me for almost a whole day. I haven't been so happy for a long time.