Well brothers, I need to share something with you. And it is related to punting as I know how some of you do use something like tinder to punt. It may work but it’s certainly with more risk than what we call legitimate establishments in the city like spa’s. So here’s the thing. I had some great tinder dates. Educated young women who speak multiple languages and travelled the world. Some may be great girlfriend or wife material.

Today, I had another one. Great dinner, joined me on my rooftop terrace at the pool, drinking and chatting and all the feels. I showed her my apartment, but told her it’s better for her to go back to her place. Her friend was fighting with her husband, and was staying in this girl’s house with two kids, so it was inconvenient for her to go back. I was like, good enough, let her brush her teeth and sleep on my couch. Somehow, it didn’t feel weird, cause two nights before I had another tinder date who crashed on my couch, and that girl was totally fine.

As I went to my bedroom, I noticed I locked my bedroom door. Apparently I didn’t trust her. And when I lied down in bed to sleep, it felt as if I was sleeping with a weapon ready in one hand. Something was off. My spider sense was tingling. What was off? You may have not spotted it in the story so far. There were red flags hiding in plain sight, but I didn’t pick up on them right away as the date was great.

But subconsciously I added them up, I got a weird feeling, and got out of bed. I dressed, turned the lights on on her, got her two phones and walked out into the hallway. I told her I had to work, get up, we’re leaving. She had no choice but to collect some belongings and follow outside into the hallway now, as you know people cannot survive without phones these days. I walked down the hallway and got her into the elevator, after which point I gave her phones back to her, as we’re now in public enough domain where I can just split and run if necessary.

I put her on a (paid for) taxi back where she came from. Removed her from tinder, WhatsApp, and went to surgically clean my apartment, flushing any toilet paper she binned, throwing her menstrual pad into another bin outside. I checked all drawers and anything that could contain anything or have anything taped inside. My sixth sense by now had turned into paranoia as I was expecting a raid by either a gang, claiming a crime had occurred to blackmail me, or a plant of illegal substance followed by a raid of corrupted policemen. Let’s be honest, these things happen.

Let’s flag it out:
- Her Tinder photos were fake. But I didn’t care straight away, because it’s not too weird for people to lie on tinder. When I met her, she was pretty, so who cares right?
- She lived outside of Jakarta in Banten, quite a bit away, and asked me to pay for her ride to the restaurant. I still didn’t flag on this immediately, because hey, some girls aren’t rich, and a $7 one hour taxi ride isn’t what all want to lose on each date.
- Her WhatsApp account was a business account. Wasn’t sure about this. Maybe it has some functions that are nice to use? I asked her about it, she said it’s for her friends. She couldn’t give a plausible reason for it, but I didn’t flag it as suspicious initially.
- The 24 hour deletion timer on her WhatsApp account. Wasn’t a straight red flag either, as I use something like this on 3 or 7 days and plenty other friends like the auto deletion timer.
- The “I want to marry you and have your babies” banter didn’t flag me too much either. If you’re poor, down on your luck, and crazy about foreigners, this might just be your ticket to a better life, so it’s not too uncommon even under normal girls.
- Here are the two flags that did it for me:
Your friend is staying in your house with two kids because of a fight with the husband, and there’s only one bed there? Allright… but then shouldn’t you be there to support your friend? When I raised that, she said she didn’t want to go back as then she would have to climb over the gate, as she didn’t have the front gate key. I asked, why don’t you have a front gate key? She couldn’t produce an answer and said she just doesn’t have it. This whole thing just doesn’t make sense… why is she trying to sleep at my place like it’s a KPI at a Fortune 500 company?
- Another account with the same three words “looking for serious” and fake looking photos had by now matched me as well. It may be a pattern. If this would again lead to a business account on WhatsApp, then we would have found ourselves an organisation. I didn’t bother to find out, and unmatched it together with the first one.

Now it may just be my own imagination, but when I ejected her from my premises, after an initial attempt to resist it, she just gave in, didn’t speak, and had herself escorted out by me. When getting in the taxi she just wanted to know whether I was angry and if she could see me again. Somehow I feel like it had a “the game is up” vibe to it. She texted from another WhatsApp to apologise if she did something wrong. Again a 24 hour timer WhatsApp account without a name, but not business this time. Maybe that’s why she carries two phones, for two accounts, who knows.

Now I’m sure be dodged a bullet.
Plausibly, it is most likely a scam where the girls just want to be on your pity list and extract money from you over time, a much lighter scam than I was fearing, but one that could be a business model too.

I’m putting this out here so when you see suspicious things next time, you will be much more alert about them.
I know for punting, you really don’t and better shouldn’t bring a girl to your place. Plenty of spa’s and options outside your house.

But it would be a pity not to date girls if you’re looking for a girlfriend or wife. Many of them, even on tinder, are just good and nice girls. But now you know to keep your eyes open.

Maybe some amber flags, but may have been your imagination getting the better of you.
I have dated a few Indonesian girls, and much of the above sounds fairly typical of some of their complexities

That said, if you were uncomfortable, better safe than sorry.

I would be more inclined to think that she may not have wanted you to go to her place because that’s where her kids were!

Doesnt sound very alarming to me, your imagination surely might have got to you.

By fake photos do you mean altogether a different person ?

I have paid for some taxi rides for girls for first dates, they are also trying to filter out scammers, coz they get flaked as well just like us. If there was a second date they never asked for it.

I have dated many indonesian girls and fucked them and all were bang on hot and friendly with me, I always verify with video calls to make sure they look like what they are in the pictures, I know pics are deceptive but atleast they should be close, and many of them were better, still friends with many of them. These girls can lie if you push them in that territory, but I dont understand why would you bring her back if she was on her periods and why would you allow her to sleep in another room and yourself in another room ?

I always bring my dates back to my hotel after I screen them with a video call (long or short) and then finally on a 60 minutes drinks date. Thats enough for me to vet whats coming next. If they are the type of girls who wouldnt directly tell you she wants to get fucked by you, they would make up stories like the one she did to get in to your bed and get fucked by you. Remember if she's a non pro she wouldnt be direct, even if shes a semi pro she would be very subtle about it, dont push them into that lying territory.

Maybe I was lucky, but I dont see many red flags here except the fake pics, always do a video call before a meetup. I have filtered out many fakers with this, if they wont do a video call, then they are hiding something. right ?

From what I figure out, she was just a gal who wanted to get fucked by you and she got really close, but it didnt happen for her.

Maybe you dodged a bullet, but from the facts you posted I dont see anything alarming here. But yes it's nice you went with you sixth sense/gut, there always another time another gal. So relax and chill !!

It sounds like a false alarm to me. In-person scammers and thieves generally implement their plans quickly, and tend to be highly focused on it. If she wanted to plant drugs or steal, she would have done it within 2 minutes of you closing that bedroom door, and would have been out in 10.

I was once drugged and put to sleep by a girl who cleaned me out (not in Indonesia). She wasted no time. Looking at CCTV, it was 20 minutes between the time we entered my building and the time she left. Managed to watch me fall asleep, get the camera, phone, find the physical key to the safe and take the money, all in that short time span.

Still, it was good to follow your instinct in a situation like that. Sometimes you don't want to wait and find out whether something would have happened and exactly what. None of the "red flags" seem too bad to me, but if it feels wrong, the last thing you want is to wait around and find out.

Not too clear but did you bang her or at least try to and what was the reaction?   Seems really weird just to have a date and not put out and sleep over but maybe thats Indonesia?