How do you internally justify mongering while in a monogamous relationship?

This is not a dig at anyone. I've never thought about this as I go up KH and bump into other dudes. However, now I'm kind of curious.

But looking the other way around, so many WG's are married. most romanians are!!

everyone has needs, you yourself go see a WG so why? usually unsatisfied

I don't justify it at all. I just don't think about it. I only do it when I'm alone. It does not get in the way of my responsibilities and obligations. It's "me" time, kind of like when women go to the salon to get their nails done.

Mine doesn't care, as long as I'm safe

I don't think there's a way to justify it. I don't even try to.

I know what I'm doing is wrong and have come to accept that I'm a bad person

Married with kids. Been mongering for 15+ years.

Why does anyone do anything they know can get them hurt or in trouble?

Climbing without a harness. Cheating with other women or men. Porn. Strip clubs. Alcohol and drugs. Fraud. Crypto and Stocks.

For me, it's the excitement of the search and the rush of the unknown. I do not think any of us are looking for love outside of our relationships, although some friendships do happen, especially if you see the same girl more than a few times. But how many men really leave their wives for a stripper/escort and don't regret it?

That being said, there is something about the investigating, the chase, and having sex with other women which feeds the adrenaline / dopamine levels. Not to mention the "my wife isn't into this" conversation as well. Not sure my wife would want to have sex as much as I'd like and also in the manner I want it, 69, doggy, mirrors, etc.

This is not a justification, but we all get our fix many different ways. Some drink and dance, others build innapropriate relationships with their neighbors or coworkers. I chose explore and fuck.

There is no justification. I lie to myself saying im not that bad but i calculated that I spent 21500 on other girls these past three months.

I go for fetish purposes (I dont have sex or receive handjobs/blowjobs from other women) i have a reverse foot fetish so I pay girls to suck my toes. I usually go for the more attractive/ young girls too. I plan to give it up and stop in 2025 but thats not going well. Most of the girls dont see me naked nor do I see them nude (some do some dont) but yeah i cant control the fetish man.

I think a lot of us aren't actually built for a monogamous lifestyle, but it's kinda been thrust on us by society, and having more than one partner while in a relationship is seen as bizarre behavior.

Even our biological prerogative as males is to want to impregnate as many women as possible, for the theoretical survival of the species.  It is females whose prerogative is generally to lock down a caring provider for her and the child.  In this regard, I guess we've lost out b/c it's become the norm to stick to your one partner.

I'm happily married, love my wife dearly, and we have a pretty healthy sex life (1-2 times on average a week), but when I'm outside and I see attractive women, I feel like I'd love to fuck a lot of them.  I'm not looking to fall in love with any of them, it's just how I'm built as a human, and I don't think it's "wrong", it's just how I am.

I've tried to bring up extra action with my wife, but to no avail.  She's generally open-minded, and I wouldn't mind if she got side action as well, but in the end says it'd be too weird for her.

So I've been in the mongering lifestyle for a few years (been with wife for 5.5 years).  At first I was content with a massage + HJ, nothing super risky, but over the last 6 months, I've been taking more risks, looking for FS with providers or even randoms off ThaiFriendly, getting the occasional BJ or rimming from a provider, etc.  

I don't believe it interferes with my relationship with my wife.  I'm not falling for any of these women and if my wife initiates sex, then I'm always willing for her.  It kinda sucks it's come to this, and I hope my dalliances never come to light or that I never get burned with an STI.  I can't really justify my behavior and know it's pretty shitty, but I think it is what it is at this point.  

It is what it is at this point, if it comes to light and causes my marriage to end, then I don't think I'll ever enter another relationship again.  I just like playing the field too much and it seems difficult to do that as well as be in a relationship.

I just don't see hookers as infidelity. After 30 minutes, they're gone, as if they never existed. Even if there was a rare inkling of feelings beyond the physical act, it's gone, done. Has nothing to do whatsoever with my permanent partner, my feelings or loyalty to them. Has about as much relevance to my partner as it does to my late grandmother: neither needs to know.

The only concern I have is that I don't get an STD and pass it on. That's a big concern, as it could ruin my life in many ways. I do whatever I can to avoid it, wrap up, test regularly etc.

Oddly, I would not cheat on my partner by seeking out a civilian for sex. That's a betrayal, no way around it. Maybe I'd consider a civilian if I was 100% sure it would be a strictly one-time, well-contained thing (like a $0 hooker), but that's never the case.

Perhaps I should stop seeing hookers entirely, but they're pretty much my only vice. It's hard to get that dopamine rush from any other activity. Don't think my partner would appreciate if I became an alcoholic instead. That would be much harder to manage. Smoking wouldn't delight her either.

You don't. I only do it when I'm single.