Men lack confidence in boardroom and bedroom
Males' self-image withers especially when women are around, survey finds

    * Amelia Hill, social affairs correspondent
    * The Observer, Sunday December 7 2008
    * Article history

Men used to have the upper hand when it came to confidence in the boardroom, bedroom and the bar.

But, according to new research, men are struggling with a crisis of confidence, with almost half confessing that they feel anxious most of the time - particularly at work and especially around women.

The majority of almost 2,000 men aged 16 to 65 questioned by OnePoll, an independent market research company, admitted struggling to feel confident about their place in society. About half confessed to feeling most insecure when at work, while another 40 per cent also felt inadequate during nights out with friends.

All those questioned by the survey, commissioned by Braun, admitted to feeling increasingly emasculated by women and said their feelings of inadequacy soar when women are present.

Most intimately, one in four men revealed they are racked by feelings of inadequacy during sex, saying that film and television programmes like Sex and the City had made them anxious about not having enough stamina and imagination in the bedroom.

'Men are more likely than women to have fragile self-esteem, as they judge their status in society through success in a single sphere, such as their career, the size of their pay packet or the model of their car,' said David Sharpley, of the British Psychological Society. 'These are all subject to a high degree of ambiguity and risk. Because men are generally poor at introspection and communicating their emotions, this uncertainty can cause the collapse of their self-esteem.

'But then, because men tend to bottle their emotions, they instinctively fake the confidence they once felt. This exacerbates the problem many times over, because it makes it harder for men to ask for help or for others to see that they need support.'

Dr John Tomlinson, a former GP and trustee of the Sexual Dysfunction Association, said he was hearing from an 'enormous' number of 18- to 40-year-olds worried about sexual problems. 'Advertising - such as David Beckham's Armani underwear campaign - glamorises the well-toned male body, which men find daunting because they assume it is what women expect,' he said.

More than half of those questioned confessed they had no constructive male role model - instead having to resort to fictional characters such as James Bond or Indiana Jones - and that they wished their 'self-image' was stronger, and more masculine and positive.

But instead of becoming more assured with age, three in four men admitted that their lack of assurance had increased as they got older. The majority of those questioned said they felt most confident when they were between 21 and 30. Just 11 per cent of 40-year-olds and 4.6 per cent of 50-years-olds said they felt more confident now than in their youth.

Respondents also revealed being haunted by the conviction that other men are more confident than they are. Almost half of those questioned believed their boss was more self-assured than they were.

One in three men said they turn to alcohol for Dutch courage to help break the cycle. A surprising one in five had lucky charms, with a third admitting they own 'lucky' jewelery, one in four wearing auspicious socks and one in five putting their faith in lucky pants.

A few good sessions over in Macau should sort out their problems

WTF

The alternative advice, f**king grow a pair

LOL...love the advice...hahahaaa...

Sure I'm still a bit shy around women, but I've never had a probably in meetings or voicing my opinions at work....

when you feel good, you look good! when you look good, you feel good!

those guys should make themselves more presentable!

and save some money   cos having money gives guys alot of confidence too

Say Mars, does the survey ring true for you ..?

Thanks for this Mars because it confirms everything I see around me and much of what I read on this forum.
Pussy bros letting young bitch-whores get away with whatever they want and - off forum - guys who can't
get GFs because they're chicken-shits and guys who do have GFs being being pushed around by them.

But:


Yah gotta be kidding.  

I'll pass on the crusade against "young bitch-whores".

I've always had the impression that the English, being a more class-conscious people, are more concerned about appearance than we Americans - for instance, you almost never hear Americans talk about character (but then, we don't have any). And my English friends certainly seem to be more cautious about what they say and do. I think it's easier to shame an Englishman - the flip side of honor. Tho perhaps appearance is not the proper term here; to me, the English seem more judgmental, more hyper-conscious of social and personal 'form' than we are, and attribute greater personal importance to that form. Usually this results in a more polished exterior, but could self-esteem problems be a negative side effect of this emphasis on the importance of breeding? (Keep in mind that ALL of my English friends are emasculated products of your better schools - actually, they all remind me of the character played by John Cleese in that hilarious film, A Fish Called Wanda)

Then again, I know that a lot of American men also have self-esteem issues, so maybe it's no different over here.

But lucky pants and lucky socks?! Somehow that isn't something one normally associates with the English. "Stiff upper lip lads, not to worry, England will always prevail as long as we're wearing our lucky pants! Right, now let's show Jerry what were made of!"

Personally, I prefer intelligent, independent, strong, assertive women. I've had several girlfriends who were devastatingly beautiful, but who I left after a few months because they bored me. I had this one really beautiful American Jewish GF who was probably the sexiest chick I've ever known, but whenever we went to a bookstore or sat in a cafe somewhere, she would pick up some really dumb woman's magazine, and never disagreed with a fucking thing I ever said! I don't think that a couple has to be always discussing Sartre -  even really intelligent couples usually talk about the same things everyone else does - but with the really sharp chicks, there's always a certain edgy tension that makes the relationship more interesting, the sex really good. I suppose it's no more than feeling challenged and engaged; when you begin to take a chick for granted, the little fellow gets bored.

So strong, intelligent women make me feel a lot more aggressive, more motivated to get in their faces. Besides, these  women often have exploitable self-esteem issues of their own.

[ Last edited by  Marsupial at 11-12-2008 00:37 ]

Oh yeah; Greek Mythology. part human, part horse, with a huge dick and sex drive. That discussion always gets the gals horny.