Starting a new thread as to not derail a previous thread:

A non-judgemental question from an unmarried guy in his early 20's:

I see a lot of conversations about punting behind a SO's back. This doesn't bother me, and I understand reality, but that being said, why bother?

What is the benefit to getting married? Why get married but continue this hobby? I understand the physical need for it/getting bored with one person, but because of that, I don't understand why anyone would volunteer for marriage. Just seems like marriage is signing yourself up for prison. Any of you guys can shed some light?

In addition, do you care if your spouse does the same?

I just realized this is probably in the wrong thread, any mod can help me move it to the lounge? thanks in advance

Depends on your marriage.  A lot of guys have been married a long time and have dead bedrooms, by mutual agreement (unspoken or otherwise).  After 20+ years, a lot of people don't get any enjoyment out of it (both guys and girls).  Kind of like watching the same movie over, and over, and over.  I would say a lot of guys don't punt in the beginning of their marriages because they are happy with their sex life. and then wind up punting later in life because either they or their spouse no longer want to do it.

Think there's a world of difference between punting and having a mistress.  That's a bit more complicated.

As far as why you get married, kids is the obvious reason.  Later in life, if you don't have kids, it can be very lonely, particularly if your spouse passes away first.  Plus kids are awesome if you have good ones.  Being married isn't required to have kids, but I don't think you could ever say it's better to have kids without a wife, all things being equal, especially for the kids.

So, if you have kids and don't want to divorce and see them once every other weekend, but aren't getting sex at home, I have a hard time judging you for going for a punt every once in a while.

Zebra, my statement wasn't about me.  It was about a lot of guys I know who have wives who have lost all interest in sex.  

I'm not about to give any details of my personal life on this forum.  Sorry, but some people around here can't be trusted, as evidenced by the idiots who share reports with wgs.  I was just trying to give OP an answer to his question.

Just wanted to give my 2 cents on this topic especially since I've had my share of fun, until recently moving to Hong Kong and discovering this website.

Personally for me, it's just a physical exercise and release situation for me. Just as I need to go to the fitness center to work out and stay fit, I think "punting" (new words I am learning from reading the glossary FAQs) is a form of exercise as well. Some need the physical release, some believe it's an emotional release. Although I am not married, I think marriage is when you are able to find a different sort of satisfaction, whether spiritual or deeper connection. However, I believe men have animalistic drives, and it is our nature to procreate and release... and therefore the act of punting. Some may even say to keep a happy marriage life, you have to go play to keep some sanity.

Called me old fashion.  But If you are in a happy marriage, you shouldn't be playing this game.  As once you SO finds out, you have pretty much fucked up your marriage and any relationship you may have had with your kids(if you have any).  Unless you are have a very open minded partner, who doesn't mind you fooling around.  But most SOs will throw a fit if they discover that you are fooling around behind their back.

If your definition of "happy" marriage means that you have an active sex life with your spouse, then, of course, if you get caught punting, you're a dead man.  You have no excuse.

Getting caught punting when your spouse refuses to have sex with you is a completely different ball game. As a human being, you have a right to have your physical needs met, and if your spouse is refusing to do anything with you, the situation is not entirely your fault.  There is blame to go around everywhere.  She would be a complete fool to think that you will just sit there and not have sex for the rest of your life because you're married and she doesn't want to do it with you.  It's actually ridiculous of her to think this way.

A lot of times, this type of scenario opens up a couple to having tough conversations which both of them have been avoiding, so it can be a good thing.  It doesn't have to spell the end of the marriage, although I would presume divorce happens more often than not.

Again - disclaimer - This is not my personal situation.  I'm just older and have a lot of guy friends and we talk about this stuff.

I would argue that if one wants to have sex with his spouse, while the spouse refuses, that cannot be considered a happy marriage...

Funny how the rest of the world look at you when caught, always the men’s fault and never really understand the story behind. I have to say once caught “men” always at fault to a certain extend but I have few friends that the “action” stopped 100% after she deliver the baby.  Sad but so true.

I'm 35 and in great shape. My wife is 32 and easily the hottest girl I personally know. If she were to become a WG, she'd be cleaning up.

We've been together for more than a decade now. In the first 3 years we had an epic sex life, the kind of couple neighbors lodge noise complaints about.
But gradually our sex became less and less frequent. Ironically it started with me. I kinda lost interest while she still wanted it. This went on for about 2 years or so and finally she stopped asking. Now and then I kinda want it, but it seems awkward to even initiate. I think we're down to less than once a year. I think last time was 2018.

We're still good friends and enjoy each other's company. We have no kids, and largely stay out of each other's way. When I leave to go punt, I don't even have to tell her where I'm going nor does she ask.

She's even caught me once when I texted her by accident. We didn't even fight about it. She just thought it was kind of funny and that was that. I'm sure she knows I'm punting, but just doesn't care.

The frequency was way down, once a month, for the first year or so after the birth of our child. Fair enough with breast feeding and erratic sleep schedule. After she stopped breast feeding back to 3-4 times a week, however not as intense as before. More of a you can finish attitude most of the time. Sometimes run into dry spells that can last 1-2 months, so supplement on the side. Other times, even when getting some regularly, you just want to be fucked by a young beautiful woman.

I think people get married because they're in love. When people are in love, their mind is controlled by the chemical reaction of their body, so they don't think they need punting anymore. After married, people got more time and control, and they realize they still need to have sex with stranger.