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Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Let her find out
on her own that she's made a really bad mistake.
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Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife
was becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative, Morris. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing
doctor for an hour?'...That's what I do," said Irving.
"Sounds great," Morris replied, "but how do you make it last for an
hour?"
"Heck, just keep her in the waiting room for 55 minutes!"
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Two men went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and
headed out. Five days later they came back but without the camel.
The man who had rented them the camel was very upset and screamed,
"Where is my camel?" They replied,
"Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say, 'Look at
the two assholes on that camel!'
So finally we got off to take a look and the damn camel ran away
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Bill and Lynn had married under none too happy circumstances, and their
married life had not been anything to brag about either.
But when, after they had lived together for thirty five years, Bill
went to the local judge to ask for an annulment, the whole of Michigan
gasped with amazement.
A date for the hearing was set, however, and when the time came the
judge demanded to know the grounds on which Bill based his demand for
an annulment.
"It's like this, your Honor," answered Bill, "I've just learned that
Lynn's father never had a license to carry a gun."
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A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar following
an interfaith meeting.
The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more
and I'll have a basketball team."
The Catholic, waived off this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing,
boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."
To which the Mormon replied, "You guys ain't got a clue. I have 17
wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
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