Only in HK can a normal bloke walk up to a hot 19/20 year old girl (with a civie job) in a bar and have his tongue down her throat after 30 seconds of chit-chat.  Tell your friends that in america or elsewhere and they're tell you are dreaming....

http://forum.sex141.com/eforum/v ... 3970&highlight=

I'd read the above post - makes a lot of sense...

I would add Joann is still just your gf and always has been even though Yiu been together a long time - she still looks to impress.

Once a girl move from gf go live in so either married or not things can change and theperfect girl you thought starts too get comfortable ...

Just a thought - good look with yiu decisions mate. You should listen to any of us the decision need to come from you inside.

hehe.  Did I say that???:-)   yeah, every word is true.  Easier to say than todo, I suppose.
Anyway, I know what I am gonna do. I am gonna walk away from her. it is the only thing to do for all the reasons I spelled out before.  I just don't like it.

Thanks for the support, bros.  A thoughtful and sympathetic group of guys!!

Would she leave him, if she had noone to go to??  
IMHO she needs to make that decision on her own and putting the burden on you is setting you up for her future guilt-trip.

Be much healthier if the answer is "yes", but it sounds like she's wanting you to make the decision for her.  

Of course, my comments are in the context of wanting you to build a happy life!  

Honestly wander, I don't know how you concentrate at work!  They say Clinton was the master at compartmentalising, but you must have him beat.

My minor little WG obsessions have me distracted, seriously, how do you keep it together?

SO caught me smiling yesterday.  "Who are you thinking about?" she said, half joking.  That was an easy escape for me as I pulled up a funny story from work.  She'd know right away if I was carrying your load.

Only knowing the broad strokes makes it impossible for us to know what is right.  But it seems you've got it pretty good the way things are.  SO, plus J, plus the rest of expat Phil in whatever city you visit.  J would want you on a shorter leash, no?  Maybe it would be better for your nerves, though.

Yeah, it can be distracting alright.  Funny... When I amtravelling back in the west my "need" to play seems to wither substantially.  I just don't need to have a gal every two minutes.  But as soon as I land back in HK I go frickn girl-crazy again.  I think it is because it is so easy-- the temptation is all over the place.  

Anyway, I'll be seeing Joann tomorrow and we'll continue the pondering (following some robust exercise, of course).  A good point you made that if we were together she would have me on a shorter leash.  Yeah, true that.  She also knows all my tricks -- I taught many of them to her so she wouldn't get busted with her SO.  Hmmmm, another example of how the "reality" of it may be much less perfect than the fantasy of it.

Dart's question:  no, she would not leave him without someone else to take care of her.  She can't.  But I don't have a concern that this dimishes her feelings for me.it is the reality of the situation.