Here is the story goes. My friend is actually the ex-WG. Still in her early thirties. She is slim, attractive and with her charming personality. She is Chinese btw.
She married an acquaintance about 4 years ago. A tall and well built American that worked as a manager for a small company in Shanghai. While I don't know him that well, many stories from his workers claimed that he is quite a pain in the arse. He is cordial to me and I to him, but I know from a fellow punters that he was/is a punter too. Funny thing is, I met my friend the Ex-WG, who I will call Jen Jen from now on, when he started taking her out. She worked for a sauna that I had visited, I chose her once (it was a pretty good session), but I never mention this to the American acquaintance nor she him (as far as I know and as far as she said). We actually became friend after that punting session.

Recently, they split up. And it was because he actually started on his punting habit again. She was just hurt because he went to the places where some people know him and her as couple. According to her story, she was even willing to compromise as long as he doesn't do it in certain places and of course she implore if possible not to do it or severely limit it.
Apparently the guy ignored her, which lead to the split up. Apparently because she used some of the money she saved as part of the payment for the apartment (and most likely due to the relative easiness for local Chinese to sort paperwork in comparison to a foreigner), her name is also in the apartment paper. Some of her friends actually helped her to bring the matter to court (I introduced a good and not expensive law firm). She got the apartment.

As she has no real skill to work, last I heard (since I don't live in Shanghai anymore), she is going to be a private escort. (Not trying to be nasty, but the only well trained skill she has is in BJ, which she is quite good at).

Is this kind of romance bound to fail? Is it the ex-WG's fault to trust an ex-punter, is it the ex-Punter's fault to take an ex-WG as wife?
Or is it even fair to begin with, to ask an ex-WG or an ex-punter to become a real exclusive partner and expect loyalty?

I always feel sorry whenever I hear stories like this. A failed relationship of an ex-WG. Seems like quite a lot of time, they just end up falling back to their old job. Imagine if she is in her 40s.

what is there to feel sorry about? she got a free apartment. she is only early 30s and apparently hot and charming, can marry another guy.

as for the white guy. if he is rich, then doesn't matter. however, if the apartment was his life savings, then he is out of luck.

My observation of relationships between ex WGs and ex punters are they never really work out.

I know a few ex pats in this situation and every time they return to their home country the ex WG is contacting old punters for a bit of money on the side. They never seem to 100 percent trust one another because they know of one anothers past.

This is not to say it can't work out but there is a saying "you can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl!". Basically once they are use to easy cash they always go back when an opportunity arises.

Don't feel sorry for your friend because as Bro xiaodidi (great name) said she has landed an apartment!

I suggest always let your big brain make the decisions and not LB!

from your story, they didn't work out simply because there was cheating going on - and there was lying and dishonesty.
These things breakup all marriages, regardless.

They didn't breakup because of their "dirty" backgrounds, they broke up because there was no trust. Simple as that.

It can affect anyone. Doesn't matter if she was an ex-WG, an ex-lawyer, or an ex-nun. Nor if he was an ex-monk!

my obvious answers

1.  it can work if both want it bad enough.  I am a firm believer romance can last but there are more challenges than a typical relationship
2.  Its not the ex WG fault imo.  He was fucking around & making her look bad.  She pleaded him to not go to the places where she was known.  She lost "face".  That is particularly bad for chinese women. As you noted, she was willing to let him be a punter....just not those places.
3. Its all fair as to what is communicated in the beginning.  The reality, its most people don't change which is what people should realized.

Never say never. But I'd say it's rare.
Different upbringing... Different cultures... Different education.... Aside from sex... What really is their connection? Appreciating their company only goes so far. For it to work... There would seriously need to be patience and work in order to make it last. Something I doubt the guy was willing to invest.

~UD

Once a punter, always a punter !!!

Once a WG, always a WG ???


Something both need to work out....

I have written about my affair with Joann on here several times.  4 years together now.  Totally smitten with her.  In love.  

She's married now and hasnt been a WG for some time.  But this was how we first met.  Somehow it evolved and changed and turned into something pretty damn special.  Crazy about her.  And she's crazy about me.. or she certainly has pretended to be for one helluva long time.   

But the key issue that NEVER goes away is trust.  We dont trust each other.  We know too much about the other.  Hell, we are both being unfaithful each time we see each other.  Would she suddenly turn into a faithful wife if I married her?  Would I suddenly turn into a faithful husband?  

Not likely.

Cant change a leopard's spots.  

Dont do it.  Enjoy it fully, yes.  Run with the love-affair.  For it is fantastic.  But marry a WG?  Have a family together?  Heartbreak.  Financial ruin perhaps.

Actually, I'm trying to sort  a bit of a guilt pang.
He's a jerk, no going around that, but I was the one that pushed her to go after things, even introduce her to this law firm that I know being an ex-WG, she is naturally not that keen on anything to do with law or having lawyers as friends)

She got that apt. but can't maintain the payments (not finished) and end up having to be an escort again.
Me, I got consoling sex once....well, maybe more than once.

The guy as Far as I know is not rich, and losing the apt. kinda hurt him quite a bit. which I felt a little bit bad about

This is Ironic.
Now I know why you post this thread. This is all about you..


Now who is the Jerk here??? hmmmm...

- You fuck his wife before and after the marriage.
- You encourage her to go after the assets.
- You help her to rip off your friend.

What;s this?
All in the name of SEX ?


But then who am I to judge. There is always 2 sides to the story.


I bet now you can just go to her apartment and fuck her brains out anytime you want.

She was once a WG became a Civvie wifey and back to her sorry ass escorting profession again.

Thanks to who?

I dont feel bad for anybody...not like this.

wth. this story has more than what u posted.  anything else you like to share before we dole out more advice?