Subject: Lai See Etiquette
gwailoplayer
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Post at 1-2-2012 20:54  Profile P.M. 
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Lai See Etiquette

Don't forget to give Lai See to your favorite regular providers. For my real long timers I give HKD 100. For others I give 50. For the MMS (KP and 37D) and the Hotel Amahs I give HKD 10. Its good ethics and good Karma.

Also, when meeting a new WG for the first time, it breaks the ice to offer them an envelope.

Doing it well means doing it right.

Keep on mongering
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kaiiyu
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Post at 2-2-2012 00:44  Profile P.M. 
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A true gwailo. I don't think this is tradition but this is a great way to break the ice and build bridges hahaha

My hat off to you.
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Freelancer
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Post at 2-2-2012 03:57  Profile P.M. 
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Proper etiquette in this case would be only giving IF one of the conditions apply:
- You're married
- You're senior to the person you're giving it to

For example, a single guy in his 20s would never give red pocket money to another single person nor anyone married nor anyone older than him.  Following proper etiquette I wouldn't give any to anyone.  They do look nice though.
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sirtiger (the banana)
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Post at 2-2-2012 04:12  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #3 Freelancer's post

so I guess its a potential giveway to WG who is marries & who is not eh?
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random1
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Post at 2-2-2012 04:15  Profile P.M. 
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That saves me some money being single.
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doghead (dog)
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Reply #3 Freelancer's post

Hmm...I wonder if you ever notice whenever you enter a sauna or a brothel, you will be very likely addressed as 'Boss'. Well there is a 3rd category of people that have to give laisees, these are the bosses or those who aspire to be big boss.

By paying the wgs you are basically paying them a salary to perform a service for you just like any ordinary company staff are paid by their  Boss. If I remember correctly Mark Zuckerberg (facebook fame) is single and is barely out of his 20s but has to give out laisees (if he was working in Asia) because it is expected from a big boss. So if you want ensure great service and karma, it would make a positive impression should you give a laisee.
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Post at 2-2-2012 10:58  Profile P.M. 
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There's really no ettiquette, but if you just say the new year wishes and increase the payout. it would suffice.

Now a days, it's more casual, but in terms of tradition, I think one has to be married, or so I'm told.
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hunter (Real Slim Slapper-Status: 九叔 .)
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Post at 2-2-2012 12:06  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #1 gwailoplayer's post

I am visiting the WG after the Lunar year.....




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davidlong
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Post at 2-2-2012 15:53  Profile P.M. 
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you have to be married that is without question and yes its given from a senior to someone younger.
never the other way around.. me being single unmarried and younger, didn't get any packets!

guess i should look for more married friends.. any bros here care to pitch in for my loss of red packets
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DArtagnan (unofficial Mayor of the Forum)
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Post at 2-2-2012 16:36  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #8 hunter's post

Here's a question ... maybe the experienced local bros can answer ...

Do the MARRIED WGs give Lai See to the younger and un-married punters???





Hear Ye!  The Mayor has spoken!
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Tuffbod
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Post at 2-2-2012 16:40  Profile P.M. 
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"Lai see" or hong bao (red packet) is given out during Chinese Lunar New Year for good luck, good blessings and to ward of evils. It is also called "yasui qian" in Mandarin. It's a tradition that has been practiced for the longest time in Chinese culture. In the olden days, people use red string to string together coins (coins in the olden days has a hole in the middle), then red paper was used by having it folded with the coins inside for this purpose. When printing presses becomes more available, the red packet we know today comes into existence and is widely used. With money coming in paper notes, that makes preparing lai see easier and less heavy to carry.

Usually even numbers are given to signifies good luck, but not number 4 - which in Chinese sounds very close to "death". Example HKD 20.00 with 2 HKD10.00 inside the packet and new notes are preferred as it's new year after all. Odd numbers and number 4 usually is usually associated with funerals.

Generally, it's given by married people to singles (especially children) and not vice versa. Parents will give to their off-spring (married or single) and in this case the children can give to the parents as well for good luck, to ward off evils and sickness - hence the it is called "yasui qian". However, nowadays it is acceptable for seniors to give to the juniors, for example: boss giving to subordinates.

It is also believed that being able to give lai see signifies prosperity for the giver and good luck or the receiver.

Red packet is also given on special occasions like wedding ceremonies as good luck, goodwill and well-wishes.

Since it's basically giving away money, obviously none of the WG will say no. Coupled with the fact that receiving this is supposed to bring luck, the more the better.

[ Last edited by  Tuffbod at 2-2-2012 16:41 ]

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sirtiger   2-2-2012 21:27  Acceptance  +1   Favorable
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sirtiger (the banana)
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Post at 2-2-2012 21:28  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #6 doghead's post

i was thinking the same but wasn't sure for sure.

how about married people giving to OLDER single people?  What is the etiquette there?  would married people give to single older siblings?
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doghead (dog)
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Post at 2-2-2012 22:51  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #12 sirtiger's post

haha, u are not like me, a single guy in his 40's. My married friends including those who are younger than I am will give me a laisee accompanied with the question - "When are you getting married so I don't have to give you another next year?".

As long as you have never been married, you can keep receiving laisees until you die. I think divorced or widowed people are not as entitled to laisees from the married folks.



Important Notice to Everyone Else : Laisees are expected only in the 1st - 15 days of the Chinese New Year. So this year, if you can wait until 07 February (06 February is 15th day) to visit any wgs then you don't have to give out any laisees and vice versa, you only have until 06 February to guilt-trip people to give you laisees if you qualify.

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Tuffbod   3-2-2012 08:56  Karma  +1   Right on there bro!
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Freelancer
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Post at 3-2-2012 01:19  Profile P.M. 
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by doghead at 2/1/12 04:45 PM
Hmm...I wonder if you ever notice whenever you enter a sauna or a brothel, you will be very likely addressed as 'Boss'. Well there is a 3rd category of people that have to give laisees, these are the  ...

Bosses/managers giving to their employees follows the senior giving to junior etiquette.  Usually they're given to singles, those younger than you, children, your staff/employees and people working at establishments that you frequent.  For example with this last one, my parents give red packets to the managers/owners of their favourite restaurants they go to, but then again my parents have know these people for 10+ years.

- If you're single (meaning never married before) you don't give to anyone. This is very bad form.
- Don't give to anyone older than you. If you're married then ignore this, but if you're single this would be very bad form.
- Don't give to siblings whether younger or older, married or single. Not necessarily bad form but it's weird.
- You can give to younger cousins, nieces and nephews. That's cool but follow the above rules first.

I've never heard of Chinese guys breaking any etiquette since they already know the rules.  Usually it's non-Chinese guys who give red packets to WGs thinking that it's a cute thing to do but if the WG knows your age and martial status they're going to look at you weird.  Some have told me that they've turned it down but to most others money is money.

It sort of amuses me in the same way when I'm in Thailand and see tourists giving a bowing wai to any random Thai person they see, not knowing that the wai follows etiquette rules as well.  In this case these tourists are telling Thais that they (the tourist) are on a lower social class than the person serving them.
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bohica
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Post at 3-2-2012 01:42  Profile P.M. 
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I have a question - say a younger single person gives a red envelope to a married person then is it considered bad luck if that person refuses it?!?  Some people are not too sure of the proper etiquette but I have also heard that you should take it, regardless.

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hunter   3-2-2012 10:30  Acceptance  +1   Boss (single) give red packet to subordinate(married), norm and no biggie.




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sirtiger (the banana)
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Post at 3-2-2012 04:45  Profile P.M. 
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QUOTE:
Originally posted by Freelancer at 2-2-2012 12:19 PM


I've never heard of Chinese guys breaking any etiquette since they already know the rules.  Usually it's non-Chinese guys who give red packets to WGs thinking that it's a cute thing to do but if the WG knows your age and martial status they're going to look at you weird.

never assume since anything is possible. Some people are not taught the cultural reasoning in great details.  I know people who just receive the red packets for decades yet are not taught the nuances of proper etiquette in greta details.
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Tuffbod
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Post at 3-2-2012 08:55  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #12 sirtiger's post

It's acceptable for younger married siblings to give lai see to older single siblings. General rule of thumb: married people giving to singles irregardless of age.

But singles giving to seniors or anyone else is considered bad omen. The exception is unless you are a senior giving to juniors like boss to subordinates, but it's entirely up to the person's decision on this.

And Doghead's (reply #13) comment on this is so spot on!



@ freelancer
I think nowadays, there are many exceptions to the general rules as there also have been many interpretation on the custom. Any which way, it was all for goodwill and should be looked at as bringing joy to everyone, for those who can afford to give and obviously for those who receives.

In the old days, lai see was given to older members of the family to ward off sickness and evils as well as for good luck.


@ bohica
Under normal circumstances, singles should not give lai see to married people. Unless you are the boss of this person and the Lai see is a "start work" lai see and that's for a good start of the year.

[ Last edited by  Tuffbod at 3-2-2012 09:07 ]
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hunter (Real Slim Slapper-Status: 九叔 .)
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Post at 3-2-2012 10:34  Profile P.M. 
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Reply #10 DArtagnan's post

LOL...never thought of that and never had one.

Prolly, they never acknowledge they are married to avoid giving out Lai See.

The only time I know WG give out red packet is to a Virgin customer (1st time sex), I know one bro who got 10$ lai see fr the WG.
WG can smell Virgin Boy.




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